Showing posts with label decisions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label decisions. Show all posts

A handful of lessons learned from our kitchen re-do


Hey Friends ~

All your encouraging words before and after this big project have been the wind beneath my wings.  If it wasn't for you, I'd still be sitting there looking helplessly at those dark brown cabinets, the appliances on their last legs, and the sad, worn out flooring.  

And speaking of the wind beneath my wings, I asked my husband what he learned now that we've completed our kitchen re-do.  Tim's a long-time Habitat for Humanity home builder and is exceptionally handy when it comes to trouble-shooting, tinkering, and fixing stuff.  I respect his experience, abilities, and his pro-active smarts.  

Here's what he told me (and I've added my two cents underneath his rather matter of fact statements.) 

1.  Don't get hung up on a few dollars.  Quality matters.
We're always looking for ways to save a buck.  But when it comes to a kitchen or bath, you want to get the best you can afford.  This will involve putting money away well ahead of time, knowing prices, looking out for deals, comparison shopping 'til you drop, and skimping on non-essentials so you can invest in what will matter most in the long run.

We splurged on professionals to paint, lay flooring, and install the backsplash.  We saved money by using leftover wainscoting from other projects, buying the cabinet hardware from Amazon (these and those), and refusing to go with outrageous quotes from hucksters.

2.  You don't have to have it all planned out when you start.
Yes, you have to know where you're going.  Enjoy tearing out pics from magazines, bookmarking online room ideas, or creating a Pinterest board.  If you spot a design detail that brings a smile or a deep sigh of satisfaction, take note, especially if you find yourself repeatedly gravitating to similar elements.  

Refuse to make decisions on every last detail before you begin.  You'll just get frustrated, discouraged, and find yourself dragging your feet.

3.  Start with the cabinets.  The other things you can change your mind on.
The cabinets set the stage for a kitchen.  We were happy to keep ours because they were in decent shape and we refused to change the floor plan.  Once you figure out what you want to do with them, focus next on appliances.  Trust me, everything else will fall into place.

PLUS ...
Educate yourself.  Talk to everyone you know who's survived a kitchen remodel.  Ask where they shopped, what worked for them, who they hired.  Look for professionals with lots of five star reviews and don't be afraid to pick their brains and ask for free estimates.  If they don't respond in a timely manner or they act like they're doing you a big favor, say good-bye. 

In the process be patient with your partner/family.  Be prepared to negotiate with big doses of kindness and give lavish grace when you disagree.  Relationships are always more important than home improvement projects.

Linda  

Want more?
The Kitchen Reveal Porch 🥣 #107

Porch #75 * The Shelves Make Their Grand Debut

#MyCozySummerHome * porch

&
How We Saved Six Figures on our Kitchen
The Nester (my all-time favorite home guru)

71 Best Backsplash Ideas for Kitchens
House Beautiful

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The Kitchen Reveal 🥣 Porch #107


Welcome to our kitchen, friends!  The cabinets are about four decades young and the quartz counters and sink were installed five years ago but pretty much everything else is new.  It took a long time to figure out what we wanted to change ... and then a whole lot longer to work our way through the details.  

before
after

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FEBRUARY
We decided to have the cabinets painted the same color as the walls and built-in shelves throughout the house.  We added matching wainscoting to the side of the cabinets before the new appliances were installed and painters arrived.  They did at least two coats of primer and two coats of paint and a whole lot of sanding in between.  

It took us many weeks to find a refrigerator small enough to fit the space available.  This one's a beauty with three roomy drawers in the bottom freezer.  Whoever designed it must have been a genius.  






APRIL
It took months to hunt down the backsplash I was dreaming of, tiles that reflected the subtle colors of sea glass, the everchanging shades of Cape Cod ocean and sky.  It was love at first sight when I came across these small subway tiles in muted hues of blue, teal, and gray.  The color changes depending on the weather, time of day, what lights are on, what mood I'm in.  The backsplash calms the space and yet keeps the kitchen from looking too sterile.  These variable shades meld beautifully with the furniture and collectibles in our small-ish open concept living space.





JUNE & AUGUST
The floor was installed in June ... he wanted a roll-out vinyl, I wanted one that looked like gray stone.  We found exactly what we were looking for in five minutes and it was quickly installed.  And then began the hunt for the perfect cabinet hardware.  This took forever.  If I looked at one style, I looked at a thousand.  As soon as these wonderful antique silver pulls and knobs appeared on my laptop, I knew they were meant to be the icing on the cake.


I'm relieved and grateful that we're done.  You guys helped me get unstuck and I'm forever thankful for the brilliant, common sense ideas you put on the table.  If it wasn't for you, I'd probably still be sitting here, seven months later, looking at those brown cabinets.

Coming up ... a handful of things we learned while doing this project.
Linda

Appliances

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On Marshmallows, Mushrooms, and Monotasking

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'It's amazing how many marshmallows there are,' I enthused as Tim and I tromped over the damp woodchipped lawn.  I had just kicked a great big mushroom right off its hinges as we headed off for a morning walk.

I caught myself.  'MUSHROOMS!,' I shouted, 'MUSHROOMS!'  And started laughing as he rolled his eyes.

He's gotten used this.  Those closest to me have.  They might patiently wait for me to figure out the missing word, ignore my misnomer, or decide to fill in the blank.  If I say, 'you know, ol' what's his name' or 'what's her face' they're usually able to track with me.  

Kind of like a game of charades.  But this is no game.  And it doesn't end after a 20 minute round or two.

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Before the month ends, there'll be more candles than ever on my cake.  68 is looming and I don't mind telling you that I'm not a big fan of the aging process.  Physically, mentally.  Truth be told, from time to time it unsettles me.  A whole lot.

YET ...

God hasn't given us a spirit of fear.  But power, love, and a sound mind. 
(2 Timothy 1:7)

Plus a sense of humor.  And the capacity to re-invent ourselves, pivot a bit, and prepare for unknown transitions ahead, knowing with confidence that He's already written the rest of our own uniquely personal story.

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Let's face it.  We're all dying daily.  We don't like to hear that, but it's our reality as human beings.  Yet it serves no healthy or holy purpose dwelling on worst case scenarios or getting caught up in the downward spiral of 'what if this' and 'what if that.'

For awhile, I've quietly claimed the desire to live a 'no regrets' lifestyle so that when all is said and done, I can be at peace knowing that I did the best I could do at the time.  For me, that's required the hard work of relinquishing dreams, confessions of sin, changes of attitude, the giving of forgiveness, ability to say 'sorry, no, thanks,' embracing new habits, increased attention to strengthening my faith and my health.  

And now in this season, to gracefully re-invent how I do life, making some major tweaks to well-worn, deeply ingrained routines that don't serve me well anymore.

My goal is to become increasingly mindful and attentive to the conversation, situation, or task right in front of me.

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That brings me to monotasking.

I'm embracing it.  Aiming to bring my full attention to one conversation at a time.  Finishing one task at a time.  Reading one book at a time.  Straightening one room before moving to the next.  Batching blogging stuff, bill paying, or information seeking and then shutting down the computer.

The secret is completing the next right thing before moving on to the next right thing.

*  An old fashioned paper checklist is my life saver these days.  There's great satisfaction in listing every must-do (small and big) and then crossing off one item after another, knowing that I'm not wasting time trying to remember something that's totally slipped my over-crowded mind.

*  Silencing my phone and keeping it out of sight is starting to keep me from endless random surfing which I swear has short-circuited my brain.

I used to be able to multi-task with the best of them.  It's not my preference anymore.  And most days there's no need to.  Accepting this reality has lifted remaining self-expectations to juggle a whole bunch of balls at the same time.  And in this new process, my body is calming, my brain is clearing, and my soul is more attentive to hearing the still small Voice of the One I rely on and love best of all.  

In quietness and confidence shall be your strength.
Isaiah 30:15

It's like God is using my need to leave multi-tasking mastery behind so that I can become the best version of my soon-to-be 68 year old self.  And able to focus on what I've always loved best ... meaningful one-on-one conversations.  Reaching out and listening well and responding in ways that will bring some kind of encouragement to the soul right in front of my nose. 

And yes, continuing to write something (hopefully) of value and connect with you right here in this space.

Read more about monotasking here.  These days #4 - #6 hit home for me.

When all is said and done, there's no one-size-fits-all to the aging process (or anything else for that matter).  I'd love to hear what's working for you ... or what you've learned by watching others a few steps ahead of where you find yourself.
Linda

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On Becoming Like Nancy Drew

The minute we walked into this house I knew it had our name on it.

The living room ceiling was two stories high, there were skylights and tons of windows all over the place.  It was smaller, lighter, and brighter than where we were coming from.  It was a bit like walking into a fishbowl.  I could see us living here.  The place had the bones.  It was us.

I was enchanted.

The minimalist-collector in me decided early on that we'd only hang stuff that I absolutely couldn't live without.  An print of an early Cape Cod map.  The 'formal' photo of six little grandkids in bare feet.  A few vintage needlework samplers.  A beachscape or three.  A hooked rug created by a dear friend.  And a portrait of my great-grandparents, Henrietta and Luigi.

Pretty much everything else was given away ... or languishes in the basement seven years later.

 

Fast forward a few years.  I came across this sign in a little shop down in Lancaster, Pennsylvania.  And I couldn't grab it fast enough 'cause I knew I wanted it hanging in our home.  

I'd been convicted of my tendency to whine.  Complain.  Grumble.  I'm sure it was tiring for those who happened to be in the vicinity.  The Spirit was definitely nudging me to acknowledge my attitude problem and choose to purposefully respond to life in ways that were Christ-honoring instead of reacting like a two year old to whatever didn't suit my fancy.   

To become like a spiritual Nancy Drew, looking intently for every small clue, each hidden treasure, holding every discovery up to the light, and rejoicing right out loud at yet another found gem.  

Purposefully cultivating a grateful heart hasn't been as hard as I thought.  To notice all the simple gifts God sprinkles through each hour and to name them one by one.  Sometimes I sound like Pollyanna, I suppose.  But truly, my heart fills easily these days with gratitude and praise.  Because there's always some kind of 'God-wink' waiting around the next corner as I live with expectancy that He will make His lovingkindness known to His children.

And as I focus on purposely noting and naming those blessings, my propensity to be a whiny-pants fades a bit more.

I pray myself to sleep each night, reciting every good thing that God has sent my way and offering it right back to Him.  Therein is peace.  Calm.  Hope.  

Linda 🔎

Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things ... and the God of peace will be with you.
- Philippians 4:8-9

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Porch #31 * Can Do Edition

Welcome back to Porch, 
your go-to weekend companion. 
Discover a fresh perspective. 
Energize your mind. 
Receive spiritual sustenance.
 Get unstuck. 
 Share your story.


I'm not interested in what you can't do. 
I'm interested in what you CAN do.
- Tim Stoll -

One of the unfortunate side effects of life as we've come to know it is our increasing focus on what we can't do.  

Conversations seem to end up revolving around our limited options.  The loss of unfettered freedom that accompanied a lifestyle of coming and going as we pleased.  Shelved gatherings, long-awaited celebrations, and dreams of travel.  Feeling out of sorts in not being able to worship side by side with others.  The bewildering low-grade melancholy that's become an unwelcome companion.

Over the past few years, our personal worlds have shrunk even as our angst has increased.  Left untended, this isolating world view easily becomes a fear-fueled slippery slope toward a powerless victimhood.  We end up defining ourselves by what we can't do.  

Instead of who we are in Christ.

*

Tim's got it right.  'I'm interested in what you CAN do' has been his mentoring philosophy for years.  More than ever, I think the man's on target.

And Kate Bowler asks, 'What is possible today? I find that a really exciting question because it is honest, it is loving, and it still asks us to show up to the day and to our lives with what it requires.'

Choices you CAN make!







8.  live out this sacred invitation - Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things ... and the God of peace will be with you'
- Philippians 4:8-9.

Praising God that our identity is found in Him, not in our circumstances ~
Linda

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Porch #29 * 5 Steps to Move You Forward

Welcome back to Porch, your go-to weekend companion.  Discover a fresh perspective.  Energize your mind.  Scoop up some spiritual sustenance.  Get unstuck.  Share your story.

Friends, buckle up.  Ready or not, 2022 has arrived.  

What could be healthier and holier than approaching the year ahead with a clean slate.  A no regrets lifestyle.  A courageous choice to rid ourselves of all those woulda-coulda-shouda's that act like quicksand, pulling us down and leaving us feeling like failures.

If ever we needed to be purposeful, it'd be right about now.

Instead of barreling headfirst into whatever's out there, how 'bout we take time to sift through the last 12 months.  Fully understand the victories, the disasters, the accomplishments, the pain.  Celebrate who God is and the provisions that have come from His hand.  Name our fears and failures and sorrows.  Confess our attitude problems and sins.  Forgive and ask for forgiveness.  Appreciate the gifts and opportunities He's given us.  Acknowledge daily provisions and graces.  Come to some measure of peace about what we've lived through.

In the process, we:
1.  Aim to release our accumulated why questions.

2.  Ask God what He's inviting us to.  

3.  Listen to the still small Voice for clear direction.

4.  Claim the fresh calling, verses, OneWord, goals, resolutions, song He's whispering to us.

5.  Chose to move ahead with a clear head and an open heart.


A few resources to help you discern your own unique focus:




If your load is complex and heavy, a counselor, support group or workbook just might be the ticket.  Click here to get an idea of what's available to you.  No one says you have to line all your ducks in a row by the first week of January.  If you need a season to move further toward healing, please give that grace and space to yourself.


So don’t be anxious about tomorrow. 
God will take care of your tomorrow too. 
Live one day at a time.
- Matthew 6:34 -

One day at a time.

It's become my mantra.  The breath I breathe.  The song I sing.  The promise I've claimed.  I've said it a million times in the last three years and am continuing to learn how to live it out in this disruptive, disturbing season.  

Loosening my grip on every loved one.  Every question.  Every opinion.  Every agenda. 

Embracing Jesus' words in Matthew 6 has freed me up and lightened my load.  It's kept me from thinking I've got all the answers.  Looking too far ahead.  Entertaining every worst case scenario and giving it free rein to endlessly play on repeat in my head.

One day at a time has freed me from anxiety's death-grip.  It's giving me a right perspective.  It's equipping me to reach out.

So that's my focus for 2022.  Again.


This is the first day of the rest of your life
'Cause even in the dark, you can still see the light
It's gonna be alright, it's gonna be alright
Sing it here!

One Day at a Time,
Linda


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Little Sister Spilled the Beans

Hey all you Joyful Single-Taskers!  My last post ended with this {oh-so-clever} teaser ... 

Linda:
Up next?  

I'll share a simple, practical key that opens the door to joyful single-tasking.  You'll be surprised at how doable and effective it can be.  Meanwhile, I'd be fascinated to hear your insights on what works for you when it comes to handling life's multiple demands and unexpected challenges ...

And then my little sister jumped right into the comment section and spilled the beans! 

Marilyn:
I have always been a multi-tasker, but noticed that nothing ever got done to completion.  I would start working on something else in the middle of another job.  I have two jobs, so I have a long "to do" list so I don't forget anything.  I recently read an article for people who work, instead of a never ending "to do" list, bundle some things from the list and put it on the calendar.  That way there is a time to do them, you get more done in a shorter amount of time and it works!  I've only been doing it for a week or so, but I do see some improvement.  Hopefully the list will get shorter! 



Well, the girl might have stolen my show but she's spot on.  As ever.  And because she's holding down two jobs, I'd say she's worth listening to.

MARILYN'S SINGLE-TASKING STEPS   
LIST

BUNDLE 

DO


LINDA'S MORNING UPSTAIRS BUNDLE
jot down 3 - 6 tasks to complete before heading downstairs 
wash & dress
tidy bedroom
tidy bathroom
tidy loft
desk work - bills, correspondence, blogging & online stuff

LINDA'S MORNING DOWNSTAIRS BUNDLE
jot down 3 - 6 tasks on fridge white board
laundry
breakfast
devotions
tidy kitchen
tidy living room
tidy bathroom
plan supper
make phone calls

I stay focused because the lists are right in front of me, and there's a huge feeling of accomplishment as I finish each task {do the hardest one first!} and cross it off the list.  Without bundling and listing, I find it far too easy to get sidetracked once I go online ... or find myself aimlessly wandering through the day without accomplishing much.

Let each one do just as he has purposed in his heart; 
not grudgingly or under compulsion; 
for God loves a cheerful giver.
2 Corinthians 9:7

So many of you have said that you're single-tasking ... or want to do more but aren't quite sure how to go about it.  I'd love to hear what works for you ... or what your dilemma is.
Linda

P.S.
As I was writing this mid-evening post, I heard my husband downstairs washing dishes.  It hit me that I had wandered upstairs to do something / get something hours before and ended up spending the evening at my desk writing about, you guessed it, staying focused and not wandering aimlessly.  😄

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The Gift of Transitioning Well

Change happens in the blink of an eye.

That split second stroke of a pen.  A clock's steady tick-tock.  The shrill, heart-stopping sound of our phone in the middle of the night.  A calendar page flipped.  That long-dreaded farewell. 

But transitions? 

These steady visitors to our lives, so deeply yearned for or completely unbidden, can linger on.  And on.

We've all experienced those seasons that range from mildly discombobulating all the way up to the numbing, excruciating grief of a severed relationship, a death, an abandoning.  A financial upheaval, a health crisis.  A betrayal, a relocation, a denial. 


And the endless waiting spaces in the midst of it all that can leave us a little worse for wear.

And then there are the transitions that breathe fresh life, that kick off brand-new routines, that open doors to long dreamed of opportunities that wait around the next corner.  These are the graces that let you know that the earth keeps spinning, that life goes on, that all will be well. 

I don't know what you're transitioning from.  Or into.  


Many of us tend to be harsh taskmasters ... not necessarily with others, but with ourselves.  We too easily race forward without considering where we've come from or what we've been through.  

Unfinished business lies in our wake.  We don't take a breath to reflect on the ramifications of what has happened to us or in us.  We haven't taken the opportunity to glean truth from our experiences or seek the counsel of those a few steps ahead on the journey.  

Or sit quietly to discern what our precious Savior is whispering to us in our frantic hearts. 

Fear of missing the boat causes our minds to become unfocused.  We tend to react hastily to all that's coming at us, instead of choosing to prayerfully respond.  Fear is a lousy foundation for decision making, leaving us stressed, confused, disappointed, and frustrated.

Half the time we don't even know where we're going or why we've chosen to head there.  And we wonder why we start to get crispy as we begin to burn out along the way.

When someone gives us a gift, it usually brings us a gratitude-laced joy.  Grace and space are gracious gifts that Christ offers us.  In showing ourselves that merciful lovingkindness needed to transition well, we begin to breathe easier.  We honor Christ as we pray and search the Scriptures.  We allow the Spirit to lead the way at His pace, not ours.  

And in the process, our faith expands, our emotional health grows, our decision making process becomes more purposeful.  That 'peace that passes understanding' begins to reign.  We don't burn bridges, miss quiet opportunities, or lose out on unexpected invitations.

Move forward?  Yes.

Follow the Leader.  He'll take you where He wants you to be, one step at a time.

Be prepared to be amazed.  

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.
- Proverbs 3: 5-6

Do you have a transition story to tell?
Linda



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What's Next? 8 Questions to Get You Ready to Roll

See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up,
do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness
and streams in the wasteland.
Isaiah 43:19


Here I am, dear friends, bleary-eyed as I burn the midnight oil penning this post after a few hours of tending to a whole lot of accumulated paperwork.  The gathering, sorting, skimming, reflecting, filing, and tossing.  

Pieces of this last year and a half have made their way into my hands.  Literally.

For many {but not all}, the pandemic has gradually been receding from the forefront of our minds and we're beginning to wonder what's next.  Maybe not consciously.  But there's no way we can live in the midst of upheaval, uncertainty, and unsettledness for an extended period of time without it leaving its mark on our souls and impacting who we see ourselves to be.

Before we hop, skip, jump, or crawl into the season ahead, before those calendars begin to steadily fill with activities and obligations and invitations that {truth be told} we didn't miss one single bit, I offer you 8 questions to consider in the presence of the Lover of our souls, the Holy One who numbers our days.

We sit quietly in His presence with expectant hearts so we're able to travel onward without invisible burdens or unfinished business.  We purposely invest in this sacred space so we can begin to unpack our experiences, discern His healing touch, a gentle direction, an opening door, a fresh opportunity, an updated calling. 

For we find ourselves in an immense transition that we've never before experienced.  A fresh wind is blowing.  And the upcoming fall of 2021 is no time for doing business as usual. 




During the pandemic -
*   What did you yearn for?


*   What surprised you?


*   What did you lose?


*   What did God invite you to?


And now -
*   What's stirring inside?


*   What are you done with?


*   What's your biggest fear?


*   Is God beckoning you toward 'a new thing'?




Dear Lord,

You've carried us through the storm.  Some of us have sailed through with little trouble.  Others have encountered desperation, fear, sorrow, stagnation.  Yet You never left our sides even when we had trouble sensing the warmth of Your presence.

Praise be.

Give us an expectation that You will open unknown and unexpected doors in the days ahead.  Surprise us with Your bountiful wisdom, creativity, and joy.  Thank You that You redeem our hurts, traumas, and griefs in ways that we never dreamed possible.

We've looked backward so that we can move forward to what You have ahead for us.  To be, to do.

We're all Yours.

In Jesus' name ~
Amen

As always, I'd be honored to hear your observations and discoveries ~
Linda



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