'We will no longer be immature like children. We won’t be tossed and blown about by every wind of new teaching. We will not be influenced when people try to trick us with lies so clever they sound like the truth.
Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church.
No one has a crystal ball.
I've been known to say that here and there along the way. And none of my audiences burst into great big rounds of applause.
Some of us humans think that those around us should just intuitively know what we feel, want, or need and automatically respond in kind. But more often than not, that's not reality. We get all hurt and frustrated, think the absolute worst of those closest to us, and our disappointment bursts into bouts of anger, accusations, and hurtful words that can never be retrieved.
Or we resort to a variety of passive aggressive tactics as we pout or dole out the silent treatment to an audience whose energy has already been drained by yet another manipulative performance.
Or we finally tuck it all inside, bury it deep, and morph into victims as we slowly sink into the mire of despair and depression.
And who has time for that.
'Cause this does nothing to build any kind of long-lasting trust or strengthen a relationship or truly invite anyone to come alongside us in a time of need.
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A safe person doesn't have a crystal ball.
But they will invite you to speak truth to them ... with love, respect, and kindness. A safe person will want the best for you. They might ask you hard questions, but they'll be spoken in a Christ-like spirit. They won't condemn you, preach at you, or shame you. They will want to know you at a deeper level. They will want to love you well.
A safe person will invite you to get 'healthy and growing and full of love.'
Linda
Read more ...
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I8 Marriage Pitfalls to Avoid Like the Plague
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The truth in love—that’s what we need you to keep on speaking, friend!
ReplyDeleteWe try ... but first to that messy one in the mirror, right?
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As I've gotten older, I try very hard to only speak the truth in love. It's too easy to let any old words fly out of our mouths. Part of maturing in Christ should be to control our tongues.
ReplyDeleteBlessings, Linda!
Yep, you're right, Martha. It's way 'too easy to let any old words fly out of our mouths.' May our default mode become His words from His heart.
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So true. Sometimes a Crystal ball *seems* like it would be a good idea, but thankfully God knows best. Have a great weekend!
ReplyDeleteSo true. He knows best. And that's good enough for me.
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This post has me thanking God right now for my sisters of faith whom I can count on to ask the hard questions--with a Christ-like spirit--when needed. They are precious treasures!
ReplyDeleteAmen to those friends. Where would we be without a small, faithful band of iron sharpening iron kindred spirits.
DeleteI don't want to know.
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We truly need to take that Ephesian 4 message to heart. Thank you for reminding me of those verses. I love your description of a "safe person," Linda. I consider you to be one. Love and blessings of grace and strength in the process of grieving!
ReplyDeleteWhat a thoughtful benediction, Trudy - 'Love and blessings of grace and strength in the process of grieving!' That means a lot ... I hear that the first Mother's Day can be a beast.
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Great wisdom, Linda, sharing it with others.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing, Lisa ...
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so true
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DeleteI love - really love what you say about a safe person - they will want the best for you, speak good things into your life. It is so frustrating when people who should be safe people are not. I want to be a safe person for those God gave me, even though they might not be a safe person for me right now. I sure needed to read this, Linda! ~ Shalom, Maryleigh
ReplyDelete'I want to be a safe person for those God gave me, even though they might not be a safe person for me right now.'
DeleteWow. You're right, Maryleigh, we can be safe for people even though we know they will never be able to be safe for us. And God will send the people we need for our own spiritual and emotional health ... and often surprise us in the process.
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I sometimes wish someone DID have a crystal ball. I think I'd have more peace about the future if I just knew what it was - that's what I often tell myself. ha. But obviously we're not meant to know the future, so I need to accept the spontaneity of the day. Thanks for your consistent message of love, Linda! That gets us through.
ReplyDeleteI've wondered the same. Would I feel more prepared for the future if I knew it? Probably not. Definitely not! The anxiety of waiting for the shoe to fall. Thanks for the nudge toward thinking about spontaneity rather than trying to control every minute.
DeleteWith you, friend, I'm grateful He's written the end of this story.
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