Porch #78 * What's Your Love Language?

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Hey All,

Here we are with Valentine's Day looming over the horizon.  Young or old, single or married, this is a day you'll dread, shrug off, or look forward to.  No matter where you're coming from, I hope you'll sense a spirit of warmth, acceptance, and community here.  And that maybe you'll find something that will speak to your heart, especially if it's worn or tattered or downright broken.

When it comes to building healthy relationships, Dr. Gary Chapman is the man, the creator of the five love languages.  A well known Christian author and counselor, his work has impacted faith, psychology, and culture worldwide for decades. 

Here we go.


Seldom do a husband and wife have 

the same primary emotional love language.  

We tend to speak our primary love language, 

and we become confused when our spouse 

does not understand what we are communicating.  

We are expressing our love, but the message 

does not come through because we are speaking 

what, to them, is a foreign language. 

Ignoring our partner's love language 

is like ignoring the needs of a garden: 

if we don't weed, water, or fertilize, 

it will die a slow death.
Dr. Gary Chapman

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Random thoughts ... 

*  Love languages aren't just for couples or grown ups.  They're for any of us who do life in the company of others.  This kind of emotional intelligence impacts how we parent and grandparent.  There are lessons into how we more appropriately could do ministry and effectively relate to others in general.  

*  It's far too easy when a loved one shares their love language to say 'well, that's not who I am' and refuse to do the work it takes to learn to love that person in ways that are meaningful to them.  That attitude is a cop out that tells them you don't see the relationship important enough for you to go there.  This is a message you really don't want to send.  

*  It's not about how convenient or comfortable it is for you, it's about building up and encouraging the ones you love in ways that will be especially meaningful for them.  And if we're Christ-followers, He gives us everything we need for life and godliness (2 Peter 1:3).  So we have no excuses.

*  If our parents didn't understand or speak our love language, does it make us hungrier for that language later in life?

*  Social media types, bloggers, online influencers - are we unknowingly searching for words of affirmation with our emphasis on likes and shares, followers and comments?

*  If we can't find the soul level affection we're craving, how can that propel us to discover that treasure in relationship with Christ? 

*  I'm shooting a text to my extended family members.  I want to find out what their primary love languages are.  Shame on me for not already knowing.  The results?
acts of service

physical touch

quality time 

words of affirmation

swedish fish/twizzlers

i don't know

Of flowers, chocolates, and relationships
on Valentine's Day

Here's 7 Ways You Can
Show More Respect at Home

63 Love Notes


There will never be words to describe
His overwhelming, never-ending love

Let's talk about your experiences with love languages ~

I'm so glad you're here.
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