Sunday, January 24, 2021

Don't Overthink It * Session #3

Welcome back to the grand finale of our three part Sunday Evening Book Club ... a short, thought-provoking read, surely suited to the disquieting season we're navigating through.

I'm glad you've stopped by here and there, and as always, am especially grateful for all those who took a bit of their valuable time to hang around and chat when you certainly could have been somewhere else.

Love you guys.  You're always the best part of any post.  Truly.

Anne Bogel's Don't Overthink It: Make Easier Decisions, Stop Second-Guessing, and Bring More Joy to Your Life was absolutely birthed for 'such a time as this.'  Its pages offered us substantial yet simple tools to incorporate into our lives in Anne's trademark friendly yet wise style, with no heavy verbiage or pontificating {which is certainly the last thing any of us need right now.}

And my friend, Carol, wrote it well - ''I also am seeing the ruts in my mind that I create with overthinking.  Our minds get used to doing it so we fall into it easily.  I have always said there are ruts in my soul that I can fall back into and I have to keep myself aware of the the potential to do so.  Alas, daily inventories and support groups give me self awareness tools.  This book is providing me with gentle reminders of what to look at in my inventories.  Bottom line: I can’t stop these poor habits so I make note and ask God to change, change, change what He needs to change.'

Let's jump right in with standout quotes from Part 3 - Let the Sun Shine In

Spontaneity
{Chapter 10, page 151}
'When it's clear a decision is needed to move forward, the worst thing we can do is not act.  Making a choice - any choice - is better than staying stuck debating our options, letting the moment pass us by ... Just pick something, anything!  It's better than doing nothing, and besides, things that don't unfold according to plan often make the best memories.  So what if, instead of resisting these sideways moments, we leaned into the decision, knowing that good things may await us on the other side?'

Rituals
{Chapter 11, pages 159, 161}
'You can take your daily routine and turn it into a ritual, one that invites you to remember who you are, what you value, and what you want to accomplish ... A ritual unites the rhythm of routine with focused attention - a powerful combination for avoiding overthinking.  It's hard to overthink when we are focused on the moment.  The ritual also forces us to slow down - and we deliberately slow our bodies, we slow our minds as well.'

Welcoming
{Chapter 13, page 185}
'We know overthinking pulls our thoughts in unhelpful directions, as we pursue threads of worry, remorse, or regret.  But we may not realize that overthinking also prevents us from welcoming good things into our lives.  We cut ourselves off from life's small pleasures, talking ourselves out of potentially good things and wasting a lot of mental energy in the process.  We suspect we'll regret denying ourselves, yet we do it anyway.'

Abundance 
{Chapter 13, page 187}
'We can learn to treat ourselves gently, and with kindness. We can go from closely monitoring the efficiency of our every move to giving ourselves the grace to not be so darn efficient all the time, from having to continually justify our decisions to feeling released from needing to get everything perfect.  

We can give ourselves permission to enjoy something that exceeds the minimum we need to get by.  We can appreciate the good things right in front of us without feeling guilty about them.  We can trade a scarcity mentality for an attitude of abundance.'

What's your biggest takeaway from Don't Overthink It?
Linda

P.S.  The Kindle edition is still an unbelievably ridiculously low $1.59Get yours here! {As an Amazon associate I may receive a small financial profit if you use this link.}

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32 comments:

  1. Thank you, Linda, for leading us through this book. As I suspected, it was well worth it for me to read it after only listening to it last summer.

    Three of my favorite things in this section:

    This one because of my One Word "Uncertainty":
    "When faced with an unexpected moment of decision, it’s easy to freeze. But to get to the other side where the good stuff is, you have to enter into the messy middle of uncertainty and decision. The joy is at the end, and the only way out is through.

    This one because while I do have a lot of routines, I like to think they're for higher purposes, so now I'll call them "rituals". :)
    "Ritual is something we do with a higher purpose in mind. How we think about things changes the way we experience them."

    And this one because I want to always err on the side of grace when possible:
    "Is it possible we give money to people who don’t use it wisely? Yes. Do I care? No. I decided a long time ago that I want to be generous. I want to live in a world where we help one another; it’s not up to me what people do with the money or other resources I give them."

    Excellent book! I appreciate you hosting us!




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    1. Lisa, thanks for kicking off our final dialogue in this little series. I absolutely agree with the idea of being purposeful and thoughtful, mindful and focused as we continue to be forced to re-create our routines. It seems like as soon as we settle into some sort of rhythm, that the rug gets pulled out from under us yet again. Most of us find that unsettling!

      And yes, yes, to Anne's generous heart when it comes to giving money to others. When we do something for Jesus' sake, He'll take care of the details of what, where, and why. I don't have time to be judge and jury.

      More than ever, kindness matters.

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  2. I've had Anne's same experience of missing out on doing something memorable or fun because I couldn't decide what to do in an unexpected opening of free time. Most of us tend to our defaults then--checking social media or playing games on our phones. Nothing wrong with those, in themselves. I'm not normally a go-with-the-flow person, but when I do seek out the unexpected possibilities in a moment, I'm often rewarded.

    I identified with her, too, in debating over buying flowers in the grocery store. I've done that more than once--sometimes bringing them home, other times leaving them at the store. Either outcome is ok--I just don't want to waste so much time mulling it over. I agree, if finances permit an occasional splurge, it's fine to invest in an inexpensive day-brightener.

    I appreciated the last short chapter's message. Most of us can't really do anything about the big world problems, except pray (and that's the biggest and best thing we could do). But we can make "small ripples" right where we are with the people God places in our path.

    Thanks for hosting this group reading and discussion. It's fun to see what resonated with others.

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    1. Barbara, I like what you said about actually seeking out the unexpected possibilities. Too often, we think that these little blessings will just fall into our laps ... and we don't even realize that we don't have eyes to see them.

      Small ripples. Yes, that we can do! God will take care of our efforts and do big things with them beyond our wildest imaginations. All we have to do is ask ...

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  3. The part that spoke the most to me would be last week's procrastination part. When I put things off because I either don't want to do them or I'm not sure of the outcome, they turn from little annoyances into obstacles in front of me. They sometimes slow me down but many times I try to continue life without doing what needs to be done. This just makes me think about it more often, worry about it and it becomes a weight - whereas if I had just done it right away, it wouldn't have taken up so much time and energy.

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    1. Oh I hear you, Mah. Anything that requires lining up appointments or dealing with professionals on the phone. Anything that requires even a modicum of technological effort. I want to pretend these tasks don't exist. And yet when I find I take care of them first thing in the day, I can heave a sigh of relief and forget about it.

      We've got enough on our plates right now without adding more obstacles. Well said, sister-girl ...

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    2. And thank you for your wise counsel this afternoon. Sometimes little sisters know best ...

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  4. I don't treat myself with kindness;
    it's really far too late,
    and in routine some call mindless
    out will come the weights.
    They say you cannot change the day
    that you are marked to die,
    less, bench-press that time away,
    but babe, I'm gonna try,
    for hard ferocious discipline
    has always been my answer
    for any fight I’ve sought to win,
    and thus will do for cancer
    and though blood I spit can be quite gaudy,
    pain's just weakness forced from body.

    Actually, the two service dogs, Ladron and Belle, will fetch out the dumb-bells or me (in their mouths!), and cheer me on with barking.

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    1. Well, I've known a number of people battling cancer, but I've yet to have connected with someone who finds their strength in lifting weights ... while dogs are barking. Andrew, you're a unique man.

      I wonder what they're trying to tell you?

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    2. Linda, the dogs are definitely encouraging me while being watchful. As an example, when I move to the chinning bar Belle will come along and bark a cadence, but when she thinks I should stop she sits, holds up a paw, and stops barking. I pay attention.

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    3. Incredible! Did you train them?

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    4. Ladron's trained (she's a Heeler, and naturally brilliant, and if I did not say that she would bite off my foot). Belle (who is a wolf hybrid) is trained in specifics, such as ringing a 'panic button' if I have trouble breathing at night.

      But in monitoring exercise, they have picked that up on their own. They also guide my eating; if I push away a plate (I eat at a low table), and they think I need (and can manage) more, they gently push it back.

      There's a different world there, and a level of intelligence and initiative that I daily find amazing.

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    5. Wow! Fascinating! Especially pushing the plate back toward you.

      'Intelligence and initiative.' For sure.

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  5. Yes, we do tend to over-think things out and mull over problems and worries time and again.

    Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Never rely on what you think you know. (Proverbs 3:5)

    God bless.

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    1. Ain't that the truth. Much of what we've known or expected has vanished into thin air. Praise God that He hasn't changed a bit, knows the end from the beginning, and generously gives us everything we need for life and godliness.

      If we ever needed Him, it's now. If we ever needed to live out His lovingkindness, it's now.

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  6. Thanks for the invitation, Linda. Each part from the book you quoted spoke to me or reminded me of something. Such good tips. I sometimes get bogged down in deciding when I should just do something. Anything. I know I get bogged down because I am afraid I will make the wrong choice, but so often there is no right or wrong choice. And often we can pivot in life and chose differently next time.

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    1. Theresa, I love what you're saying about pivoting and choosing differently next time. You're right, most decisions aren't final. Flexibility that comes from wisdom and life experience would serve us well ...

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  7. Thanks for doing this, Linda. I learned I need to quit letting my inner critic boss me around and let the sun shine in more. :) Instead of resisting a change of plans, I can lean in and expect good things. I can embrace spontaneity and get out of my own way and bring more joy, peace, and love into my life. I can stop cutting myself off from life's small pleasures or indulgences because I feel guilty it. Now if only I would set my mind to practicing this more. Those ruts Carol talks about can be very deep. I love what she says, "I can’t stop these poor habits so I make note and ask God to change, change, change what He needs to change." Amen. Love and blessings to you, my friend!

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    1. Expecting good things is becoming more challenging for many of us because of what we've been going through over the last year. For sure, this is where the enemy of our souls loves to hold us hostage, always looking over our shoulder or looking too far ahead. Constantly imagining worse case scenarios, absorbed in the latest news feed instead of our faith in Jesus Christ.

      He has the last word. This world is not our home. He's got this.

      Therein is our freedom to live life well for Him and for others - now.

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  8. Thanks for doing this. It was just the right thing to get me to read a book on my to read list. And get lots of good advice for this year. Blessings,

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    1. Good point ... this book has been a fine companion book to kick off 2021.

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  9. Thank you for sharing these thought-provoking quotes, Linda.

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  10. I love all the quotes you shared, Linda. I have many sticky tabs on the pages of my copy. In the last chapter I also tagged: "We can create love and joy, right where we are. We can create all these good things right in our own lives that affect those around us, who in turn affect their communities, who go to impact our whole world."
    We matter and what we do matters. Let's not overthink so we don't take action in the present moment to bless our world. And I loved the final benediction! Thanks for giving me the nudge to read this book!

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    1. You just KNOW a book has hit home when there's sticky tabs all over the place! Thanks for sharing that reminder that we've been shaped to be creators of good things that can impact others.

      This is good news for us right about now, right where we live.

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  11. Aargh! You blog ate my comment from my phone ;). This sounds like a wonderful book. I love the idea of turning a routine into a ritual in order to internalize it and make it automatic. I think I've done this with my physical therapy exercise ;). I do them right as I roll out of bed and before I'm fully awake.

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    1. Ah, I'd love to be able say the same thing about rolling out of bed and doing my stretches or heading out for a walk. I admire your commitment to taking care of yourself, Anita!

      And sorry about the blog eating up your comment. I hate when that happens. But I love that you stayed and tried yet again. That means alot ...

      ;-}

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  12. Love, love love this: “I don’t feel very much like Pooh today,” said Pooh. “There, there,” said Piglet. “I’ll bring you tea and honey until you do.” A. A. Milne. I have had that Trader Joe experience but thankfully I have friends who think I should enjoy simple abundances . “ Buy it,” she says. “It is so you?” Linda, know anybody like this?

    Also, I learned the difference between ritual and routine (or the definition). Routine is going through the motions, doing the same thing over and over but not giving much thought to it. We need routine or our teeth would not get brushed. I found myself saying yes to ritual. My ritual is having coffe with God each morning. I savor the great pleasure of a pumpkin spice with vanilla creamer while I rest at the feet of Jesus. Ahhhhhh so nice

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    1. Oh, you bring back memories of all our shopping trips when I could urge / remind / convince you to buy a sweet something because it just said YOU all over it!

      I love your ritual of coffee with God in the morning. Pumpkin spice with vanilla creamer.

      He smiles. Me, too!

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  13. These words you quoted: We can give ourselves permission to enjoy something that exceeds the minimum we need to get by. We can appreciate the good things right in front of us without feeling guilty about them. We can trade a scarcity mentality for an attitude of abundance.' ABSOLUTELY spoke to me today Linda. I do not have the book and have read many good reviews on it and a few not so good ones. But the things you are sharing has been great. The part about giving ourselves permission....YES! YES! YES! Thanks for sharing Linda. Hugs and blessings to you dear lady. Cindy

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    1. Guilt is so very different from conviction by the Holy Spirit, isn't it! It's like a big wet blanket that weighs us down and keeps us from moving forward with energy and joy! I'm glad you found some good things to contemplate, despite the 'not so good' reviews.

      Thanks, Cindy!

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  14. oh I have not heard of this book, I just found you on a link up! This book sounds so good and so needed for this time in our world! I am gonna have to look into this! What a great hosting of it you have here! Thank you for sharing this!

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