PORCH
your go-to weekend companion
discover a fresh perspective
get unstuck
embrace community
grow your faith in Christ
share your story
your go-to weekend companion
discover a fresh perspective
get unstuck
embrace community
grow your faith in Christ
share your story
Hello again, dear over-our-heads over-wrought friends (or those who've been there, done that)!
Welcome back to the final piece of our little burnout series. If you missed the first two parts, here you go:
Today's nudge toward wholeness could look like some kind of to-do list ... and the danger is thinking if we check all the boxes all will be well. But life isn't linear and most of these practices or rhythms take time to cultivate and bear fruit.
Consider these suggestions as hugs of hope, doses of sanity, and nudges toward wholeness.
* And thanks to my dear friend, Debby Hudson, for these soothing, inspirational images.
NAME IT
Stop ignoring what is true about where you are. Speak it right out loud. Write it down. Hearing your weary voice utter raw truth and seeing it scrawled in black and white allows you to name what ails you, see how it's impacting your reality, and offers you a wide open invitation to choose your next steps.I am _____________ and it's left me feeling _______________. I am making the choices to _______________, _______________, and _______________ so my body, mind, and soul can be strengthened.
You're craving comfort food, but all those carbs and sugar will do nothing but drag your already taxed body lower. Surround yourself with the real stuff like fruit and vegetables and eggs and groceries that don't have an ingredient list that's as long as your arm. Display the healthy stuff front and center in your fridge and cupboards. Put the junk somewhere inaccessible to you. Aim for 6 - 8 glasses of water each day.
Move your body. Get outdoors. Walk or bike or hike or run after the dog. Stretch or dance or lift some weights.
Sleep is not an option. It's imperative, it's life-giving, it's healing. Curl up and take an afternoon nap. Or go to bed a half hour earlier. If this is an ongoing challenge, there's probably a medical component going on and your doctor should know this is plaguing you.
How is stress impacting your body?
BOUNDARIES
Please don't allow people to send you on a guilt trip or make you feel like you're obligated to give extensive reasons for the choices you make. Wisdom is knowing when to say yes and when to say no. When to take a sabbatical, when to get a replacement, when to decline an attractive invitation or a long-awaited opportunity.
It's easy to become so immersed in tending to everyone and everything that we unknowingly begin to neglect our own precious bodies, minds, and souls. Yes, we're called to love others as we love ourselves {Matthew 22:39}, but we often forget that the 'love ourselves' mandate gives us the grace and the fuel to effectively reach out to those around us.
Where do you need to set up some boundaries?
UNPLUG
We're obsessed, we're addicted. Social media's many attractive tentacles can easily breed an exhausting spin cycle. Comparison, dissatisfaction, jealousy, FOMO {fear of missing out}, and feeling 'less than' all combine to create an endless toxic striving which can easily morph into an unhealthy anxiety. Our society has created a culture where we are always on, always available. There is no rest for our minds, leaving us with no space just to be still.
Solitude that feeds our thirsty souls is one thing. Isolation is a whole other ball game. Morphing into a hermit benefits no one and invites depression to come join you. Begin to re-create focused time with those you love. Chances are they've been missing you. Tell people what you need ... it might just be an occasional quiet companion to keep you company.
Who are you missing?
SOUL
Pray yourself awake in the morning and pray yourself to sleep at night. Unpack your heavy load with the One who has borne your griefs and carried your sorrows. And in the process, pray for another soul. You won't have to look far to find someone in even worse shape than you are.
Read a simple Psalm, sitting reflectively with the Psalmist and the One who ministers to our deepest hurts. Or check out Elijah's story of spiritual battle, physical depletion, and emotional exhaustion ... and glean from his recovery story in 1 Kings 18 - 19.
Keep a little gratitude journal, writing down three simple things you're thankful for each day. Counting your blessings and giving thanks is not overrated. It's a lifeline ... and has the power to refocus you when anxiety and fear come to call.
Music touches the deepest part of who you are, your soul. Pull together your favorites, maybe create your own playlist. Start singing again.
Which soul care practice is calling your name?
SABBATH
We've lost the beauty of this lifeline along the way, either looking at this biblical mandate as far too rigid or unapplicable for today. Two of my favorite iron-sharpen-iron women talk about this delightful, life-giving invitation ... Emily Freeman and Ruth Haley Barton are the real deal. Listen in and download the transcript right here.
What is God inviting you to?
I'm praying as each of us consider which of these these hugs of hope, doses of sanity, and nudges toward wholeness we need to discover ... or re-claim ... or share with others. And, as always, I'm looking forward to hearing your stories and suggestions.
Linda
So much goodness here - I've been extraverting a lot lately - and I notice that I need quiet time, stillness to recharge. I've been trying to give myself permission to slow down and to make room for rest and stillness in the day. It's a lot harder to do than it seems. Your list of hugs in warming!
ReplyDeleteHey Maryleigh ... thanks for reminding us that not only introverts need stillness but those that lean toward that extroverting temperament. The deepest needs of our hearts are the same, aren't they ...
DeleteAnd yes, sometimes we are our own harshest taskmasters and need to give ourselves permission to rest and be still. After all, He's already given us that invitation.
Thanks for opening our discussion this weekend, friend.
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Another thoughtful post -- you always leave us with much to consider!
ReplyDeleteJeanie, you always spread kindness. Thank you ...
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Thank you for all your "hugs of hope" and "nudges toward wholeness," Linda. Such helpful insights. Love, hugs, and blessings to you!
ReplyDeleteOh I'm glad you found some encouragement here, Trudy. I hope the weekend is treating you well!
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Those "Name It" fill-in-the-blank statements would surely be useful tools as negative emotions begin to surface. I'm copying those down and putting them in my prayer box. I want to revisit them every so often, keep better tabs on my state-of-being and pray about what specific action needs to be taken. Oh--and drink more water. Need to do that too! 😁
ReplyDeleteOh, I'd love to hear about your prayer box, Nancy! It sounds so rich and intriguing ...
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Whether we realize it or not, we all need quiet time to reflect, to pray, to recharge. But we also need to be with others to truly experience to fullness of what life has to offer. I'm so grateful for the recent trip we took to reconnect with far-flung family. That will be the subject of my blog starting with today's post.
ReplyDeleteBlessings, Linda, and thanks for all your wisdom and encouragement!
Welcome back to writing, friend. Isn't it good to take a breather and do life without tapping away?! It's like we come back with a whole new perspective and a whole bunch of energy.
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Compassionate wisdom from you, my friend. Words to let soak in. I've jotted notes for more contemplation. Many thanks for sharing my photography! ♡ - Debby
ReplyDeleteI sent an email your way to let you know your work was being featured but it bounced back. It was so fun to scroll through all those beautiful vignettes, knowing I'd find exactly what I was looking for. Thank you for that generosity, girl ...
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This is lifegiving! Thank you.
ReplyDeletePraise up!
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What a life-giving post, Linda! This time of year is always a challenge for me in the comfort food and exercise area. More so when under heavy stresses. Thanks for the reminder that giving in creates a vicious circle. I've been using an app called Soul Space for awhile now. I listen to it in bed as I'm falling asleep. It has been a game changer in controlling anxious thoughts at bedtime. I love falling asleep to His word. Have a blessed week, my friend!
ReplyDeleteJune, I absolutely hear what you're saying about the comfort food and exercise, especially when the stresses are heavy and endless. I LOVE Soul Space ... it was like a lifeline when I was battling anxiety. Christ-centered, beautiful, calming meditation. I'm so glad you mentioned this. Thanks so much!
Deletehttps://soulspace.co/
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I have several ways to relieve stress. I cycle. I do jigsaw puzzles in the winter. I go to the Y. Yes, I am getting older and things don't seem as simple as they used to, but I have always been active and I pray God will continue to grant me that privilege.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the reminder to exercise our brains, Bill. I know that too much time scrolling and clicking and skimming has done my head no favors. I'm trying to 'batch' my online time and not compulsively check and re-check whatever catches my eye.
DeleteYou've modeled such good health and fitness along the way, even after injury or illness. Thanks for that.
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You nailed this! I have slowly learned naming it is powerful for me then keeping t hose boundaries keep me sane and oh so worth it! I too listened to Ruth Haley Barton and Emily Freeman podcast. Put Sabbath in a new light for me.
ReplyDeleteRuth Haley Barton has been a mentor-from-afar in my life. I did a silent retreat with her years ago and it made an imprint that has lasted forever. I highly recommend her newsletter and books ...
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oh and podcast, too!
Deletehttps://transformingcenter.org/strengthening-the-soul-of-your-leadership-podcast/
I gosh, I really like this Linda. Unplugging stood out to me the most, as I am figuring out how to be integral to what I build on social media. I want to spread the message to be away from screens and "outside in real life", yet I am obviously inside on social media. I kind of miss just old-fashioned flyers around town. lol I haven't been as plugged into social media as I have in the past as family, work, and hobby wires are charged up, too. Maybe one day I'll figure out how to wire-up so the charge is a perfect balance between all things!
ReplyDeleteWhen you find the perfect balance, Lynn, please let me know! I'm still figuring it all out. I know when I'm overdoing. It feels overwhelming and burdensome, doesn't it ...
DeleteAnd evenings like tonight, it's pure joy to chat back and forth here. Sheer gift. Go figure ...
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I love the Name It exercise. I have a few similar templates that I need to use more regularly to help me clarify my jumbled thoughts. I appreciate your encouragement to take care of our bodies and souls!
ReplyDeleteOh, I hope you'll give us a peek at those templates, Lisa! I love tools that help us clarify what's really going on so we can make wise choices in responding.
DeleteDo tell.
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Another insightful post, Linda.
ReplyDeletePraying the rosary calms me and takes away my anxieties.
Hugs and blessings! 💐
Oh yes, prayer calms our souls. Amen, friend.
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There are so many helpful tips here, Linda! I've been trying to put some of these into practice over the last few years and they really do make a difference. Sabbath is something my attention seems to be drawn to repeatedly at the moment so I will need to listen to the podcast!
ReplyDeleteI'd love to hear your take on the podcast, Lesley. Ruth talks about doing Sabbath in community, not by ourselves. It's a wonderful invitation to churches and families and groups of friends to join together.
DeleteReally appreciated that angle.
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So much practical wisdom here, Linda. Taking a day off the internet each week is a lifeline for me (and I'm even learning not to be legalistic when I need one bit of information that I can't get any other way). :-) I recently returned to a previous habit of checking a couple of social media platforms only one day a week--the resistance I felt the first few days showed me how badly I needed to do this. And I love your advice to pray ourselves to sleep at night and awake in the morning, and include prayers for others too.
ReplyDeleteDon't you just love leaving all that legalistic luggage behind? And I hear you about that resistance when cutting way back ... such a good point to acknowledge that this is hard for us even though we know it's the right thing.
DeleteI'm thinking we're all still works in progress when it comes to finding a sane balance that works over the long haul. Thanks, Lois.
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For whatever reason, the link to Debby Hudson's work at Unsplash is being contrary. Can you point me in a direction to find her work over there? I'd love to help promote her beautiful images, too!
ReplyDeleteHere you go!
Deletehttps://unsplash.com/@hudsoncrafted
Yep, let's continue to showcase each other's work. Love that, Michele.
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You're speaking my language, Linda! Thank you for getting the word out that self-care is mandatory, not indulgent. Jesus withdrew to quiet places to take care of himself; he took a nap in the middle of a storm. Shouldn't we follow his example?
ReplyDeleteAnita, I'm so happy that we value this same self-care emphasis! I'm featuring your comment on this weekend's PORCH
Deletehttp://www.lindastoll.net/2022/11/porch-68-november-i-love-you.html
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You always encourage me so much, sweet friend. Your wisdom and advice are so sound and much needed. God bless you always.
ReplyDeleteThanks for being here, dear Cheryl. I hope you're enjoying making beautiful music this weekend!
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Linda, I love these exercises. I do think of these as hugs of hope, doses of sanity, and nudges toward wholeness.
ReplyDeleteThanks bunches for sharing this wonderful message with Sweet Tea & Friends this month sweet friend.
And thanks for hosting such a generous and wide-open link-up, Paula ...
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This has been a dynamic series offering so much to think about. So many of the same things are on my mind these days. Trying to be quiet and listen to my own thoughts more often. Trying to be a better listener in general. And falling asleep in prayer is my very favorite way to fall asleep. Thanks for offering so much.
ReplyDeleteBarbara
onehopefulyear.com
I'm thinking maybe there's alot of us in the same boat, Barbara. For whatever reason - season of life, living in a (hopefully) post-covid culture, the 24/7 news cycle/social media, endless crises, family situations. So much is out of our power to change, but we're figuring out what we can do. And letting the rest go into the hands of the only One who has ultimate control.
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