Thursday, April 2, 2020

You're Not Alone if You're a Bit Fearful . . . or You're Freaking Out


If you're reading this, I'm guessing you've experienced some level of apprehension, worry, fear, or anxiety in the last few weeks.

If you haven't, please check your pulse.

These thoughts and emotions are perfectly normal, understandable, and completely valid given what we are journeying through.  It's important that we are free to name our emotions without shame or blame or guilt, to acknowledge they've come calling, and then make healthy choices with where we go from there.

We don't let emotions run the show or call the shots, but we do acknowledge their presence and their potential power to hold us hostage.  We are wise enough to listen to what they whisper and sometimes shout so that we can take pro-active action to channel them into becoming strengths.

Lest we think we're bad Christians or people of little faith because fear has crept in, let's dispel that lie once and for all.  God has shaped us, created us, and loves us deeply.  He fully knows our frailties and fragilities as well as the places where we are courageous and full of strength.

No, the spirit of fear isn't from Him.  We can make a series of continual proactive choices to give our fears in their various shapes and forms back to Him whenever they make their most unwelcome appearance.




HE EMPOWERS US
Right now we know that we have little control over much of what is happening to us and to our world.  It's not uncommon to feel powerless ... which can easy morph into hopelessness and believing we are victims.  God changes that for us.  He empowers us with wisdom, discernment, insight, solid decision making skills.  He allows us to set boundaries, to make a series of choices each day that have the potential to lead us into healthier places in body, mind, and soul.
His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness. 
{2 Peter 1:3}


HE INFUSES US WITH LOVE
As we connect with God throughout the day, He infuses us with the necessary love {and patience and grace and sense of humor} to love each other well, especially when the four walls are closing in on us.  Shifting our focus upward and outward, we are less prone to be self-absorbed, defensive, petty, and small.  We are more eager to build each other up.  Encourage each other.  Reach out.  Go the second mile.
Perfect love casts out fear. 
{1 John 4:18}


HE GIVES US SANITY
There's no doubt that depression and anxiety will increase in our general population during this crisis with all its unnerving and traumatic pronouncements, life-shaking changes, decisions, and tragic losses ... most specifically for those of us on the exhausting front lines of battle or those with a genetic propensity or past experiences with these illnesses. 

Symptoms of depression

Symptoms of anxiety

Brain health issues are not a spiritual flaw, they are a physical disease that must be addressed by a doctor.  If you're experiencing depression or anxiety, pick up your phone and call your physician right now.  Or call 911 if you're in crisis.  There is no shame in reaching out for help, in fact it is vital.  The building of a sound mind allows us to live out our God-given empowerment and call to love with healthy bodies and eager hearts.
O Lord, you brought me up from the grave; you spared me from going down into the pit.
{Psalm 30:3}



Let's talk ...
Linda

P.S. 
Please read   Because We've Gotta Kick Fear to the Curb

P.S.S.
We're walking through this unsettling season together.  Be sure to subscribe here so you don't miss a single online gathering.


*
visiting with

41 comments:

  1. I feel better just reading this, Linda. I've tried to be more intentional about naming what I'm feeling. It helps. Blessings to you, friend, for your guidance here.

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    1. Oh I'm so glad, Lisa, that this has helped a bit. Being intentional about naming what we're dealing with gives us power to figure out our next step and keeps it from all being so nebulous.

      Praying for you right now, friend ...

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    2. Thank you for your prayers, Linda. I'm going to feature this post on my blog this Friday. Your message of realism AND hope is so important right now!

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    3. Wow, Lisa. Thank you for such grace. I hope something here will encourage your friends and followers.

      Easter blessings to you and your sweet family ...

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  2. Linda, your words always impart hope and comfort! Yes, when we feel fear, or other negative emotions, we certainly need to name it, and give it over to God, who will never fail to help us carry our burdens.
    Blessings, and stay safe!

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    1. Thanks for that reminder that Jesus NEVER fails, Martha! May we trust Him more and more ...

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  3. Love your post Linda. This phrase was in my bible study this week that said, "Nothing tests our trust like fear. But fear fades when we trust the strength and sovereignty God". All is well with my soul but as everyone shared last night during our Zoom meeting for Bible study....it sure helps for us to encourage others to take our minds of self...Thank you Linda for your encouragement. Hugs and blessings, Cindy

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    1. YAY! Let's hear it for Zoom these days! It's become the go-to venue for many support groups, committees, studies, classes, and webinars.

      For such a time as this ...

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  4. It's for war that I was given form,
    it's for crisis I was made,
    what's for you hell, it is my norm,
    and, my friend, I'm not afraid.
    The world around may pass away
    to cover all with blackest night,
    but every dog must have his day
    and every killer have his fight.
    If you call me I will come
    and hedge you round with love,
    you know my colours will not run
    and when push might come to shove
    I'll sacrifice my life for thee;
    death, to me, is victory.

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    1. If you call me I will come
      and hedge you round with love,
      you know my colours will not run
      and when push might come to shove
      I'll sacrifice my life for thee;
      death, to me, is victory.

      Sounds like something Jesus would say....

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    2. Your daily victory against pain is an inspiration to all of us who struggle mightily against its impact.

      You and my mom would make a great team, Andrew, for she, too, is a valiant warrior.

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  5. I am not feeling anxiety or danger but one of my main practices is that I do not let in all the data and info out there. I cannot be concerned with what is happening in FL or New Mexico cause that is not mine to own and deal with. I keep myself abreast of Ulster and Dutchess County because I have to know what is in my “backyard.” What do I have to navigate? What is the effect on me locally?

    God taught me this principle that keeps my head on straight: “But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have become convinced of, because you know those from whom you learned it,”
    ‭‭2 Timothy‬ ‭3:14‬ ‭NIV. ‬‬ I love the facts but not all facts are convincing.

    “The secret things belong to the Lord our God, but the things revealed belong to us and to our children forever, that we may follow all the words of this law.”
    ‭‭Deuteronomy‬ ‭29:29‬ ‭NIV‬‬. This helps me when I don’t understand why someone died or someone was spared from a ravenous virus.

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    1. I have learned the hard way to drop that 'news junkie' aspect of who I am. I learned to follow news and politics at my father's knee. In this season, it is not serving me well.

      I'm scanning what's happening on my phone in the morning and then that's it for the day. Enough is enough. If anything is bringing anxiety these days, it's an overwhelming abundance of information.

      I love your 2 questions at the end of the first paragraph, Carol. Thank you for your continued wise influence in my life.

      Miss you.

      xo

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  6. Wow the NLT says it even more clearly. ““The Lord our God has secrets known to no one. We are not accountable for them, but we and our children are accountable forever for all that he has revealed to us, so that we may obey all the terms of these instructions.”
    ‭‭Deuteronomy‬ ‭29:29‬ ‭NLT‬‬

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  7. Yes! Amen! Thank you, Linda, for your loving compassion and understanding. For caring about both our spiritual and emotional wellness. And for pointing us to our hope in God to get us through this. Love and blessings of safety, strength, and peace!

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    1. Yes, our hope is in the Lord, Trudy!

      He already knows the end of this story. And that gives me a sense of peace.

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  8. Wonderful post and much needed Linda. Although 'productivity' and 'seize this time to get projects done' is a popular message, it's important that we still honour our feelings and be okay (not beat up on ourselves) if we just can't seem to get the energy to do but rather need to process, maybe even sleep more. It's kind of like a grieving journey, isn't it? Thank you for your words here!

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    1. Lynn, yes! I know a number of people who have redeemed their nesting at home time to get all kinds of projects done ... painting, window glazing, gardening, closet cleaning, photo organization, cooking.

      I applaud them!

      But at this point, my energy level is such that I get through the day doing the basic tasks - laundry, straightening, a meal on the table, a bit of cleanup, and a walk outside when it's not raining or freezing.

      ;-}

      Thanks for the gentle reminder to honor where we are. For you're so right, this is a grieving journey. And for those of us who were already grieving, it's just added more to the pile.

      And more opportunity and need for praying without ceasing.

      And THAT can be a very good thing!

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  9. Thank you Linda for your positive post full of hope.

    This post I've written may be of some help to some readers: http://timeforreflections.blogspot.com/2020/03/i-am-afraid.html

    God bless.

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    1. I'm headed over there right now, Victor. Thank you for adding your writing to the conversation here across 'the pond.'

      I hope you are safe and well.

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  10. It's funny, but even though I haven't written specifically about the pandemic or the virus, posts I had scheduled in advance for this season seem to be particularly relevant anyway. My guess is that whatever we normally struggle with is being magnified because we're left with our thoughts and our small spaces. What a gift to find God at work in this crazy time.

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    1. Oh yes, this, Michele --> 'whatever we normally struggle with is being magnified because we're left with our thoughts and our small spaces.'

      Brilliant. Wise. Insightful.

      Really ... I'm waiting for you to write a book from your Maine hilltop, friend.

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  11. Thank you Linda for this post. Yesterday I had overwhelming fear, but after naming it to my hubby, I felt better. I admit I have had anxious thoughts, but I try to give those to the Lord and leave them there. Blessings and stay well!

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    1. Thank God for kind and sensitive spouses, friends, and family members who listen well and validate where we're coming from even if they don't quite understand it.

      What a gift of grace your husband has given you, Pam.

      Bless you both!

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  12. A sister friend sent a text yesterday asking me to pray for her because she's angry about what's happening in the world and she knows she's not supposed to be angry. I reminded her that being angry is okay. Sinning in her anger is not. It's okay to feel. We're humans who have been thrown into something none of us could've ever predicted.

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    1. Absolutely, Yvonne. Your sister friend is blessed to have you in her life to validate her very real emotions, to pray!

      It's important to remember that anger is a secondary emotion - it's really about -
      * hurt
      * frustration
      * fear
      * feeling disrespected
      * etc.

      It's healthier for us to say that we're scared or frustrated right now instead of proclaiming we're angry, which most of us would rather not define ourselves by.

      Yes, we're scared. You said it well right here --> 'We're humans who have been thrown into something none of us could've ever predicted.'

      This might help - THE ANGER * EMOTIONAL HEALTH SERIES
      http://www.lindastoll.net/2017/11/the-anger-emotional-health-series.html

      Bless you ...

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  13. This has been a difficult week. I’ve lost track of who I am … and mostly how I am … more often than I can count. There’s an exhaustion of my spirit, a wordless, nameless, defies-all-description malaise. I can’t get out of my own way and often don’t finish what I’ve started. I’ve become the world’s worst listener, so lost as I am in my own fog of non-thoughts, but feeling every single one of that which I cannot articulate. Anxiety, yes. Depression, probably slightly. Finding faith? Yes … in your words. Thank you.

    Barbara

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    1. As ever, you have put to eloquent, powerful words what many of us are experiencing, dear Barbara.

      May knowing you're in good company and that God's character and promises are still rock solid give you peace.

      Praying for you right now ...

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  14. Hi Linda! Such wise words here about identifying our emotions. Just this morning I was in a funk and spent time to try and figure out the emotions I was feeling. Just naming them helps us be able to deal with them. Then we at least have a name for the face.

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    1. Theresa, hi! Sometimes it's a surprise but usually it's a relief when we begin to figure out what's going on in all the swirling in our heads.

      As we name it, we can go to God with whatever ails us. And even if we can't name it, He already knows about it ...

      I love that!

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  15. Oh, how I love these words, Linda! God does give us wisdom, discernment, the ability to make decisions and, most of all, love. Thank you for this reminder. I needed to read it today!

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    1. I'm guessing that 2 Timothy 1:7 is probably one of the top verses I've talked through with clients over the years.

      There's so much hope there, so much possibility because of what God is able to do in our lives as we release our fears to Him and claim our rightful inheritance as His children.

      I'm so grateful.

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  16. Guess I better check my pulse. My biggest concern has been the people of the church I pastor. Checking on them. Making sure they are okay. Thanks though for a much-needed post.

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    1. Bill, your pulse is fine! And your people are blessed as you continue to reach out, check in, listen, care for, and pray with.

      This is a tough season for pastors. I'm praying for you right now as I hit the Publish button.

      Bless you as this very unusual Palm Sunday and Easter Sunday are upon us.

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  17. Oh, Linda ... right now your posts are meeting a need in my heart even more than they usually do. Praying for you, my friend ...

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    1. Lois, thank you for that deep encouragement. Our heart-needs are great right now, aren't they ...

      Being in community is a comfort, a solace, a hope, isn't it.

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  18. This was very comforting Linda. I confess I have not handled my fear well. I keep trying to hand it over to the Lord, but then I seem to snatch it right back and that has me feeling shameful. I've had to quit reading and watching the news and even having to screen what blogs I read. I'm an avid reader but for the life of me, I can't pick up a fiction book because I just can't focus on reading right now. I wish I could escape into a good book. Just yesterday I started reading my devotionals again and that is definitely helping. I'm trying to get out and walk every day and I'm watching a few episodes of Golden Girls every night and that makes me laugh. Thanks for a much needed post in these trying days we're living in.

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    1. Gail, hi! It's so like the enemy to fill us with shame and guilt over things that shouldn't provoke those feelings that do nothing but drag us down and immobilize us.

      I'm with you. I've pulled WAY back on watching the news. I like what you're saying about what you're reading online and screening the posts that aren't helpful. I think it's wise to pay attention to what calms us in ways that are healthy and head in those directions.

      I hope that knowing that lots of people around here feel the same way as you will bring you some level of comfort. And reading those devotionals is superb, isn't it ...

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  19. Linda - What an inspiration to feel our feelings. THank you. Maree

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    1. Oh yes, God created us in very unique ways!

      He knows where we are ... and loves us just the same.

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