Here's the 4 Words I've Said a Million Times During the Pandemic

Hello there, my friends!

I wasn't going to write today.

The washer is going strong, the dryer spins hot.  I had big plans to drag all the tiresome winter clothes out of drawers and the tiny closet and stash them in garment bags in the guest room and my big ol' childhood mahogany dresser in the basement.

The sun is shining bright outside, just beckoning me for a walk in its warm, healing rays.  My muscles ache for a quick stride, a good stretch.

I have a few notes I want to write and a pile of tasks to get done and I'm hoping that something delicious will spring from the freezer for supper.  Maybe, maybe not.

But all that aside, I have something to tell you.  The four words I've repeated over and over again in recent months.

I  .  Just  .  Don't  .  Know

It's odd when you finally listen, when you pay close attention to what's repeatedly whispering from your contemplative soul and pouring from your lips in a huge percentage of your conversations.

I've lost track of how many times and to whom I've said this to.  My husband, my sister, my girls, my mom, my faithful readers, my dearest friends have heard this mantra ad nauseum.  And they've often repeated those four words right back to me in one way, shape, or form.

When I finally paused long enough to listen to my repetitious musings, I realized that those words are absolutely true, appropriate, and helpful.

Taken one way, they can be a sign of bewilderment, desperation, powerlessness, hopelessness.

But a better way is this.

I  .  Just  .  Don't  .  Know can become a lovely offering of faith and trust, a calming, blessed release up to the only One who truly knows.  The Omniscient One.  The Holy One.  The One who holds all our lurking doubts and persistent wonderings and rapidly evaporating summer plans in His most capable, nail scarred hands.

There's so much swirling around in my life that I don't have a clue about anymore.  And acknowledging that reality has taken the pressure off to somehow wave a magic wand, to forecast the future, to waste any kind of valuable time and energy trying to calculate every choice and decision that's coming down the pike.

And in this sacred realization, a sweet peace descends like a Dove.

One day at a time.

All will be well.

'Thou art my God.  My times are in Thy hands.'
- Psalm 31:14-15


trusting God with