PORCH
a soft place to land
a calm weekend haven
a gentle pause from life's busyness
so we may experience
the tender lovingkindness of Jesus
as we do life together
in community
Ready or not, here they come! The holidays.
Who among us hasn't lived with not a small amount of apprehension, angst, and anxiety over the thought of pulling together a scrumptious 50 course meal with all the trimmings that has to be identical to Aunt Ruth's from 60 years ago?
Dressed in pearls, carefully coiffed hair, her lipstick fresh, looking stunning in the loveliest dresses and prettiest aprons, she single-handedly whipped up yearly holiday feasts for dozens of far-flung family members the likes of which will never be replicated by this generation or the ones to come.
I have no idea what it cost her year after year and I don't mean financially. But she (and my uncle) pulled it off with such grace. I always picture her laughing. I loved her so much. But I'm afraid I'm not from the same gene pool.
My sister and I have decided to keep it super simple this year. Chicken pies from one of the Cape's best bakeries. Cranberry sauce, rolls, gravy, a side dish or two.
And hopefully, a decadent dessert.
As much as we might long for the good old days, the stark fact is that so many of our favorite family members are no longer with us. It's sad and yes, we miss them more than ever on the holidays. We linger with the fond memories and the fine legacy, we'll regale each other with hysterical stories and yes, maybe shed a few tears.
But for sanity's sake and to honor who they were, we move into the reality of where we find ourselves here in 2022.
We can't turn back the clock, nor would we want to. But we can make decisions that recognize who we are right now and focus on creating new memories with the next generation who wouldn't know Aunt Ruth from Adam.
And yes, we're using the loveliest Thanksgiving paper goods you ever did see. I'm imagining that a few ancestors might be turning over in their graves. But I make no apologies to anyone.
It's all common sense. It's all grace. These are the good old days.
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How an Introvert Does Thanksgiving
Sophia Dembling
3 Questions to Simplify Holiday Dysfunction
Heather Caliri
Heather Caliri
Joshua Becker
Me
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I will exalt you, my God the King:
I will praise your name
for ever & ever.
Every day I will praise you
& extol your name
for ever & ever.
Great is the Lord
& most worthy of praise;
his greatness no one can fathom.
One generation commends
your works to another;
they tell of your mighty acts.
They speak of the glorious splendor
of your majesty & I will meditate
on your wonderful works.
They tell of the power
of your awesome works &
I will proclaim your great deeds.
They celebrate your abundant goodness
& joyfully sing of your righteousness.
Psalm 145: 1-7
Linda
I hope you and yours have a marvelous Thanksgiving, Linda!
ReplyDeleteYou, too, Martha ... after what we've gone through the last few years, there's so much to be thankful for.
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Yes, Aunt Ruth's holiday meals were major events. i remember wearing my white knee socks with a dress and sitting at the kids table thinking we were mature since we were sitting away from the adutls. Even watching Uncle Ray carve the turkey at the dining room table impressed me. Never would I try that!! Lots of stories, memories and love. Though we do it differently we are still thankful for those we have and what God has given us.
ReplyDeleteYour memory is absolutely astounding. I can't remember what happened last week! But I sure am grateful we can be together this year. I'm sure there'll be stories to tell. And very few dishes to wash.
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We're continuing gathering with family on the gulf coast. We started because two sets of parents lived there. This will be the first one that none of the generation before us will be there. It makes it more important to gather with each other. It will be a feast of memories and gratitude for those gone on before us and there will, no doubt, be a traditional feast as well. Bless you, friend. May you continue to feast on God's goodness. ♡ Debby
ReplyDeleteYeah, I love that, Debby. Feasting on God's goodness. Hard to grasp that we're the matriarchs now ...
DeleteHere's hoping we embrace our new roles with humor and ease. Happy Thanksgiving to you, dear friend.
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Ha ha! Linda (and Marilyn) I remember your Aunt Ruth and Uncle Ray very well! She was quite the cook and hostess! And remember having to use all the fancy glasses and good dishes and the special silverware when company came over? ( My mom passed so much of that stuff on to me, now nobody wants it!) Glad we can be a little more chill now! Have a lovely Thanksgiving together - the baked chicken pie sound delicious! Mostly enjoy the fellowship, the memories and laughter as you are together. Our family will gather at my daughter Kate’s home. She and Tim get to do the heavy lifting and the rest of us will supplement! Love and blessings to you!
ReplyDeleteYes, all the fancy glasses and good dishes and silverware. I remember that well ... and you're right, the next generation wants no part of it. It's like grand entertaining has morphed into come-as-you-are hospitality ... pizza, paper plates, comfy sweats. I can't even imagine going back to the 'good old days.'
DeleteI'm so glad that you've shared your memories with us today. Aunt Ruth and Uncle Ray would absolutely love it. Enjoy this special holiday with your beautiful family, friend.
Praying.
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I used to pull out the tablecloths and such to make things extra-special for holiday meals. Then when my son got married, he and my d-i-l graciously took over doing the dishes for those occasions. I just didn't feel I could burden them with all the extra dishes for those meals, so we switched to paper. These days stores sell some lovely festive seasonal plates that aren't too expensive. I do kind of miss the special, elegant table--but it's not worth it to make someone spend an hour in the kitchen washing up. And I am too tired to do it myself any more. :-)
ReplyDeleteOne year W-Mart had a disposable Thanksgiving tablecloth that was covered with mazes, connect-the-dots, pictures to color, etc., all on a Thanksgiving theme. My grandson loved it, and different ones of us sat with him through the morning while the others prepared the meal.
I loved the introvert article and the one about Grandma's dressing.
Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours!
I love the tablecloth idea ... we have 11 people coming, from 3 years - 70 years old!
Deletehttps://amzn.to/3hOIUGZ
I think there'll be something to keep everyone busy here. Thanks for this fabulous idea, Barbara! You made my day!
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I love the idea of lingering with legacy. Those memories and those who made them often get a seat right beside us at the table. We'll bow our heads, remember, and say Grace for both the past and the present. Happy Thanksgiving, kind Linda!
ReplyDeleteBarbara
onehopefulyear.com
'say Grace for both the past and the present'
DeleteYes, Barbara, yes. Perfectly said, friend.
Happy Thanksgiving to you, too ...
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Hi Linda! I'm excited this year (again) because the church I pastor is serving our community with a Thanksgiving meal from 11-1:00. We open it up to the whole community and offer a sit-down or delivery or curbside. Jo and I always spend Thanksgiving here so why not do something with our other family? Plus she doesn't have to cook. :) Have a happy Thanksgiving and as you say, "Be grateful." How easy it is to forget, you know?
ReplyDeleteI love what you're doing there, Bill. And 3 options! So gracious, so wise. I hear about more and more churches opening their pantries, their kitchens, their hearts. This is how we build community, one meal, one delivery, one smile at a time.
DeleteBless you guys.
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It's lovely to have those memories of your Aunt Ruth, isn't it? What stands out to me is that you remember is that you always picture her laughing. It's the laughter that is fondly remembered first over what we ate when we recall our happy gatherings with people we love. Happy Thanksgiving, Linda! (Ours is in October, and now that Remembrance Day is over too, we are fully into Christmas season...)
ReplyDeleteThanks for that reminder that it'll be the laughter we remember, not the items on the menu, Lynn. We've got it all backwards with our over-the-top expectations of what a holiday meal looks like. I'll be remembering this as little ones come through the door. I want to sit on the floor and play. Someone else can put the chicken pies in the oven. My pulling-out-my-hair days are over.
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Good for you and your sister, Linda, for keeping it simple. :) I hope you have a Blessed Thanksgiving. And I pray you may have extra strength and peace since your mom won't be there this time. Our family keeps growing, but I'm so thankful our kids and grandkids are still willing to get together the Saturday after Thanksgiving. Especially since there are over 50 of us! Our daughter has taken over the hosting for some years now as I had to face my limitations. :) My hubby and I buy the turkeys (two now) and the whole family pitches in for the meal. :) Love, hugs, and blessings to you!
ReplyDelete50!!! Wow, Trudy!
DeleteDon't you just love when the next generation takes the wheel on these big events ... and you just have to show up with a couple turkeys. And it doesn't bother you that it's not on the actual day of the holiday.
Love this! Enjoy!
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I love your perspective Linda. I feel like you've given me permission to let go of the old expectations (ala Aunt Ruth) and embrace a simpler way of celebrating Thanksgiving. After all, it's about so much more than all the food! Thank you for the restful peace of the porch!!
ReplyDeleteYeah, it's like sometimes we need someone else to say, 'yes, this is ok/good/normal/fine.' I like that we can do that for each other.
DeleteSending you a hug this morning, friend. I hope your Thanksgiving is just the way you need it to be.
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Linda, what a blessing that you and your sister are on the same page about the Thanksgiving menu--especially that decadent dessert. You've made me hungry already. :-) Praying for you, friend ...
ReplyDeleteThe girl knows how to make the best desserts. I'm hoping she'll bring her fabulous chocolate pecan pie but I'm not picky.
DeleteHow 'bout we eat dessert first?!
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I think there's nothing wrong with keeping things simple. Your menu sounds delicious!
ReplyDeleteAmy, thanks for those affirming words! I hope your holiday is sheer gift.
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In our family it was Aunt Betty who hosted the Thanksgiving dinner. Aunt Orsie (yes, that was her given name) and my mother would bring a couple of side dishes, Grandma made the rolls and baked the pies--hers were beyond wonderful. I sat at the kids' table with my brother and a few cousins. Years later when my husband and I started hosting we discovered the hours of pre-prep it takes and then more hours for the clean-up and putting everything away. I'm with you, Linda. The food doesn't have to be fancy fare, the table doesn't have to look like a Martha Stewart masterpiece. Just the togetherness, reminisces, conversations (on non-controversial topics!), and laughter make for a memorable day. Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours, my friend!
ReplyDeleteNancy - My husband had an Aunt Ursula or Osula so maybe we're related in some way?!
DeleteThanks for the reminder not to wade into controversial topics. I am still learning not to go there, to be sensitive to where people are coming from, especially with politics and anything covid related.
I've always loved a good discussion but these subjects go nowhere.
I hope your holiday is lovely and completely free of anything controversial!
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Linda, that commercial made me laugh 🤣. What a lovely memory of your Aunt Ruth. Your plans with your sister sound great and making new memories with the present generation is key. I enjoyed reading the articles you referenced. Happy Thanksgiving my friend.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing this delightful article with Sweet Tea & Friends this month.
Yep, I never get tired of this commercial. It still cracks me up every time I see it ...
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