Friday, July 8, 2022

Porch #50 * Grief & Renewal

  Welcome back to PORCH,
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Hello again!

Last time I looked it was April.  Fast forward three months and here we are.

The family have all headed home and the house is as still as a tomb.  The laundry is put away, the floors vacuumed, the fridge emptied.  We're just beginning to wonder who we are now that Mom is no longer with us and we're not quite sure where to begin.  We're slowly adjusting to not living on high alert status after so many months.  We're catching our breath and experiencing the unmooring of deep loss, even while heaving deep sighs of relief.  

Grief is a surreal, out-of-body experience.  Upending.  Wrenching.  Emptying.  Freeing.  Exhausting.  There's no 1-2-3 formula and no easy route forward and no quick ending in sight.  

Sometimes it helps to talk but not necessarily.  A morning walk and an afternoon nap are becoming lifelines.  A bout of heavy-duty weeping cleanses the soul.  Listening to the Psalms prompts me to praise.  

Sharing quietness with someone who 'gets it' is like a cup of cool water in the desert.  Beginning to make a few tentative plans seems helpful yet strangely daunting.  Blogging lends a familiar rhythm that's comforting and productive.  And slowly re-focusing on ministry gives renewed purpose.

It is what it is.  God knows.  That He hasn't changed like shifting shadows, that He knows the end from the beginning is such a huge comfort I can't even begin to grasp or explain it.  I feel His peaceful presence with every breath, every task, every thought, every teardrop.  All I know is that our times are in His hands and that all will be well.

And truly, that is enough.

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Just because you live near the ocean doesn't mean you camp out there every day.  We get caught up in routines like everyone else - appointments, food shopping, hauling garbage to the dump, volunteering, family logistics, figuring out what's for supper, throwing another load of laundry into the dryer, paying bills, weeding the garden.

Let's hear it for tossing routine to the wind when family's here and going with the flow.  Nothing beats an unexpected evening by the sea with those you love.  When all was said and done, my twelve year old blonde-haired blue-eyed basketball star begged me to put some family shots on the blog. 

So here you go, Brookie πŸ’œ!









I hope this month will find you playing tourist wherever you call home.  

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Dear Farmer's Market: 6 Reasons I Love You
Prices are skyrocketing at the grocery store and the quality of produce hasn't been all that impressive.  I'm hoping to get out of my comfort zone and start exploring local farmer's markets in the weeks ahead.  

30 Decluttering Resources to Help Simplify Your Home
Fewer objects strewn around gathering dust = less visual and mental clutter, a calmer atmosphere, more white space that gives us room to breathe.  In the process we tend to become more appreciative of the possessions we truly value and enjoy.

Why Would You Steal My Words?
Several decades ago I gave a newbie permission to use my newsletter template and she ended up using some of my written material as well ... without attribution.  It was quickly resolved but this article reminded me of how I felt when I first saw my very own words in someone else's publication.

Sea Glass: Learn All About These Beautiful Baubles Found on Ocean Shores
Discovering glass tumbled and frosted by the sea has become as rare as hen's teeth.  But you'll still find me searching for a hidden gem every time my feet hit the sand.

E-Book Deals πŸŽ―
I've never seen so many fresh bargains in one week ... I've chosen 45+ for you, many from our favorite authors!  Wow!  As much as we all love the feel of a real live book in hand, a tablet is our best friend while traveling or heading to the pool.  It sure beats dragging around an unwieldy bag of page-turners.  I'd love to hear what titles grab your attention.

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May this weekend give you generous helpings of renewal and refreshment ~

Linda


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As an Amazon Associate, I receive a small commission when you make an Amazon purchase by using these links, at no extra cost to you!  
Thank you for supporting my work.

🐟

40 comments:

  1. No two seasons of grief are the same. It was about this time last year when we said good-bye to my mother. I'm so glad that you've been surrounded by family at this time, and I so enjoyed the photos you've shared here, Linda. Praying for your continued healing of the heart.
    Blessings!

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    1. Yes, I remember that well, Martha. Doesn't it amaze you how quickly the months pass by? I'm thinking you've found comfort and joy in your grandchildren ...

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  2. "There's no 1-2-3 formula and no easy route forward and no quick ending in sight." Yes. The only way is through, a moment at a time.

    I grew up near the beach and *love* visiting it. We're in a landlocked state now, but we've had numerous get-togethers on lakes and rivers. Nice, but not quite the same.

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    1. Today has turned out to be a hard one. Thank you for gently reminding me that we do life and grief one moment at a time. He knew that's what works best ...

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  3. You nailed it right here: "Grief is a surreal, out-of-body experience. Upending. Wrenching. Emptying. Freeing. Exhausting. There's no 1-2-3 formula and no easy route forward and no quick ending in sight."

    One day at a time. You cry when you need to and don't feel guilty if by some small miracle, you are able to laugh. You never get OVER it. You get through it. But you WILL get through it. Sending love.

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    1. Well, whoever you are, you've said it well. Sometimes we need our words fed back to us even if we've only just written them a day before. Appreciate the empathy and hope you've sent my way this afternoon.

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  4. Linda, I know too well the grief of losing your mom. Sending you lots of hugs, my friend. I love the family photos!

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  5. Visiting with you on the porch. You really spoke to the heart of the matter my friend. Blessings.
    I'm your neighbor to the right at Grace & Truth today.

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    1. Time to link up at your place again, Paula!

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    2. Thank you for linking up with Sweet Tea & Friends this month πŸ’•

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  6. Isn't it odd how life can change so quickly on a dime...from busy, busy caretaking and being on high alert, to the silence and stillness of loss. I know you know how to take care of yourself during this time, Linda; I hope you're taking every opportunity to do so. You're a treasure.

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    1. Thanks to pouring into my 'tank' this evening, friend. Running on empty is not where I want to be. My energy level wanes - I'll blame it on beginning to do those morning walks again!

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  7. Thanks for listening to Brookie. :) Loved seeing the family. Prayers for God's continuing and healing peace.

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    1. We're off to spend time with the rest of the gang tomorrow. And the computer stays home!

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  8. I'm sorry to hear about your mom. Your family photos are beautiful.

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    1. Amy, thanks. It was so much fun since that's not something we do together often ...

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  9. awwwwww MA thanks for putting me in ur blog... plus all the pictures. I love that u said "my twelve year old blonde haired, blue eyed, basketball star (:
    Also now I have blue hair πŸ’™

    * via text

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    1. So ... want to put a FEW blue streaks in my hair, girlfriend?!

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  10. Love that beautiful smile of yours, Linda, cuddled up for a selfie with your daughter (daughter-in-law?) and granddaughters. No one looking at the photo would know that great sorrow lives in your heart right now. That's the capricious nature of grief, isn't it. Tears and laughter mingle. One cleanses, as you mention; one adds joy and inspires hope. I'm glad you're giving yourself opportunity to do both.

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    1. Yes, that's my oldest daughter and her family. I love how you phrased that 'capricious nature of grief.' That's not a word I use often ... in fact, I looked it up and see exactly where you're coming from. Thanks for hearing my heart and seeing beneath the smiles.

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  11. You have described grief beautifully. Don't you find writing and visiting the beach helps? both of places of peace and grounding for me.

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    1. Absolutely YES, Jean. You hit the nail on the head. Exactly. Wow. Grounding indeed.

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  12. We'll all become acquainted
    with that shade called grief,
    but though he's hardly sainted,
    he neither is a thief.
    Instead he holds a mirror
    on a night without a star;
    in darkness we see clearer,
    and find out who we are.
    The glass holds the reflection
    of what was dear, now gone;
    look close and see direction
    of how life might go on,
    nourished by your flowing tears
    to grow new joy in later years.

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    1. 'look close and see direction
      of how life might go on,
      nourished by your flowing tears
      to grow new joy in later years.'

      Yes, Andrew. May tears cleanse and nurture and bear some kind of empathetic fruit that helps us be more present with others in their grief.

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  13. Your family is beautiful and I love the ones of your husband on the beach. Have been praying for you. Hugs and blessings, Cindy

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    1. Cindy, thanks! We're not so good about taking family pictures like you guys are. But when all is said and done, photos and memories go hand in hand. These are the good old days as our children and grandchildren gather 'round, aren't they ...

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  14. You’ve captured this sad journey perfectly, Linda. “It is what it is. God knows.” Amen and amen. He will continue to hold you fast, just as He has done these last many months. I’m so glad you shared the family pictures. One blessing after another …

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    1. I find myself saying 'whatever' more and more in this season. We realize, yet again, how much is out of our hands and how futile many of our efforts are. I'm tryin' to go with the flow these days and just be thankful for the blessings that still remain, just waiting to be acknowledged.

      Napping, too!

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  15. Losing a loved one is never easy and I'm so glad that you've been surrounded by family at this time.
    Loved the photos of your beautiful family, Linda.

    Hugs and blessings

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    1. Veronica, thank you! Family time is priceless ... and healing.

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  16. Throwing those schedules to the wind is often the most liberating, healing thing we can do - and it's balm to a soul that has loss a thread to its story! Beautiful photos of a time of healing and refreshing as you continue adjusting to your loss!

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    1. Maryleigh, yes, yes, yes to 'Throwing those schedules to the wind is often the most liberating, healing thing we can do.' This past week has confirmed this truth yet again. Healing comes in many ways, doesn't it ...

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  17. Linda, I'm so very sorry for your loss. I understand that pain, and it's so different for each person who walks through it. I love what you said here, "Sharing quietness with someone who 'gets it' is like a cup of cool water in the desert." Praying for you as you as God's presence touches that aching place in your heart.

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    1. Lisa, thank you ... I appreciate what you're saying about the pain of loss being different for each of us. I find that fascinating and comforting.

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  18. I'm glad you left routine behind for the sea, and shared your pictures of your family enjoying the seaside. Our routines are necessary to get things done, but are easily forgotten. It's those times shared in special places and in celebration that are remembered and cherished for much longer than the clean smell of fresh laundry. :)

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    1. Yep, the laundry can wait another day. Don't you just love that?!

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  19. I understand Linda, I lost my mother in January this year.
    Bless you,
    Jennifer

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    1. Jennifer, I hope that something here will encourage your heart in your own grief. We are not alone. Bless you, friend.

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  20. I am continuing to pray for you, dear friend. I SO understand. Love you.

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