Tuesday, October 27, 2020

Loose Ends * 7 Autumn Reflections



Welcome, welcome!  I'm so glad you've joined me today.  

I can't even begin to fathom that the year is careening toward a close ... complete with two holidays that will most likely bear little resemblance to past traditional celebrations.  If you're anything like me, you will be so very glad to hang your fresh, new 2021 calendar on the wall and tuck 2020's pages in the bottom of the deepest drawer you have in your house.

7 realities I'm reflecting on ...

1.  The absolute necessity of lots of pencils & a few very large erasers.

As I flip through the last few months of my calendar, I see that fully 50% of what had been penned in ended up being crossed out, scribbled over with black ink.  Appointments cancelled.  Long-planned visits delayed again and again.  Get-togethers with friends postponed.

I will buy my pencils in bulk from now on.  And keep a couple of these large erasers at the ready.  {As an Amazon associate I may receive a very small financial compensation when you use these links!!}


2.  Hold all plans loosely.  Don't carve anything but the most absolute essentials in stone.

One day at a time is the name of the game.  Keeping our plans held loosely, with trusting hands raised up to our loving Heavenly Father, keeps us from the awful pain of having our hopes and dreams pried away from our grasping fingers.  

There's a reason why Jesus said, 'Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow.  God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes' {Matthew 6:34 MSG}.



3.  It pays to listen to the Spirit's nudging.

When I decided to unplug from blogging last month, a kind reader wrote, 'May September be Sabbath for you.'  I was so taken by her benediction that I wrote it on my calendar, glancing at her thoughtful words often. 

Sabbath not only honors God, but inspires us to rest from our seemingly endless labors.  And a time of retreat and re-calibration prepares us for the hard times that announce themselves with an unexpected yet not surprising phone call that changes everything.


4.  Covid, the elderly, & their families.

No family member should have to cool their heels all day in the ER waiting room with a mask on, marking time as they wait on some kind of update after their disabled 90 year old mother takes a particularly nasty fall at home.  No elderly person should be forced to choose which child can stay with her throughout the day as she waits for test results.  No elderly person and her children should have to make the difficult but necessary choice to move her to a care facility right smack dab in the middle of this seemingly endless pandemic.  

No daughter should have to kiss her mother good-bye through a mask right before she is wheeled inside to her new home.  Or watch the door swing closed behind her with a firm lock.  Or sob alone in the beautifully appointed gardens at the entrance as she experiences such deep sorrow, a separation that's surprising in its intensity.  

And it just seems wrong that two sisters only get 30 minutes together with their mom every Thursday afternoon, with one hug a piece.  Generously applying hand sanitizer before and after the hug, faces turned away from each other.  No kisses.  

But the mask.  Always the mask.

This is my family's autumn story. 

I think of several dear friends in recent months who were not able to be with their loved ones at the end of their lives.  None of us should have to face life and death alone without the comfort of family members present.  It goes against everything we value. 

My heart continues to go out to you.  Who would have ever guessed that we would be cut off from those closest to us when they needed us most.

God, thank You that You never left their side for a single moment.

Comfort our unsettled souls with Your lavish peace.

And bless all those who faithfully care for those we love.  May they be kind and gentle with them, please.


5.  Even in the midst of the madness, good things deserve to be celebrated.

You might have to walk around with a magnifying glass to spy them, but all around us there are big answers to prayer that bring a smile and a song of gratitude to our lips.  A granddaughter gets accepted to college.  A house sells for more than expected.  The doctor reports good news.  A beloved presents you with the largest glazed donut ever seen.  Your eyes are opened to opportunities to encourage others with your words, your presence, your silence, your handyman / woman expertise, your culinary skills, your artistic endeavors.



6.  Ah, the insanity of the political fray.

I said all that I needed to say in this post right here.  Maybe it will get you through this exhausting season?  Hope so.

Let's pray the prayer that never fails ... 'Thy will be done.'



7.  The support group.

It's been so rewarding to facilitate a group for women making their way, three steps forward, one step back through the pandemic.  

Led by the Spirit's gentle wooing and direction, courageous participants emerged out of their comfort zones to deeply connect with each other through ongoing conversation and prayer.  Clear guidelines enabled the group to be safe for all ... no interrupting, advising, analyzing, fixing, or preaching at each other.  Weekly, we became more attentive, empathetic listeners as our spirits deeply resonated over shared stories of isolation, abrupt changes in gathering with family and friends, the reality of fear and anxiety and anger, the demise of long-established routines, accumulating losses and build up of grief, the disruption in church life.  We refused to sugarcoat the disappointments and frustrations, fragility and sadness, the lack of meaningful purpose that the pandemic has left in its wake.  
 
We turned a corner at each meeting, with Philippians 4:4-9 guiding us as we did the hard work of re-framing our challenges and heartaches into opportunities for gratitude and spiritual growth.  We focused on designing unique, Christ-honoring routines and rhythms, emphasizing ongoing devotional encounters with our Savior to grow our faith and meet our deepest needs for relationship, clarify new vision, and discover God's call on our lives going forward.

I'm already anticipating what God will do in our next round.


What's on your heart as October rolls to a close?
Linda

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47 comments:

  1. If 2020 has taught us one thing, it's that we're not in control of our plans! I'm glad you reminded me of Matthew 6:34 in the Message. I was so encouraged by that near the start of the pandemic and I need to read it again now as some plans I have in the next few weeks look increasingly uncertain.
    I'm praying for you and your mom and the rest of the family. I think the enforced separation from loved ones is the cruelest part of this whole thing and it must be so hard to have such limited time with her.
    I'm glad you've known some moments of joy and some answered prayer in the midst of the challenges!

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    1. Lesley, hi! Yes, The Message hits home in verses like this. Especially as plans look increasingly fragile and uncertain.

      I'm praying as I tap away here, that the Lord will make a way for you in what you are hoping for. And that He will give you peace and grace no matter what.

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  2. I hear you and I feel the pain. My dad broke his hip in January and was in rehab until mid-April. It was one of the most stressful times for everyone. The nursing home locked down in mid-February so all I could do is wave from the window when I picked up or dropped off his laundry. The only solace was that I knew they were taking the very best care of him and keeping him safe. It is definitely the cruelest part of this virus...................

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    1. Oh Val, I'm so sorry to hear about your Dad and those months you could do nothing more than wave from the window.

      And do laundry. And most especially pray.

      This is a hard season for so many. The enemy of our souls wants to break us. But God has us in the palm of His powerful hand. And He will not let us go.

      Blessings to your family ...

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  3. Too many good points to comment on each one here. Thank you Linda for this post.

    On a lighter note, seeing the photo of the sundial, did you know my grandfather invented the luminous sundial so you can tell the time at night? He also invented the sundial watch you can wear on your wrist. At night you shine a torch on it and tell the time.

    God bless.

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    1. Ah, just what we need. People running around with torches trying to see what time it is!

      ;-}

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  4. What's on my mind? When is summer coming? Is it really that close to when I have to stop riding my bike outside? I HATE THOSE MASKS! I take every opportunity to NOT wear one. Jo's sister is 6 hours away and it has been since February that she has been able to visit in person. I'll be glad when 2022 is here. I'm pretty sure covid will be over by then. And I most certainly will be glad, excited, overjoyed, (and a ton of other adjectives) when the election is over. That's another reason I'm looking forward 2022. Maybe by then they will have decided who is president and all the fighting will be over (only if it goes my way of course). LOL Have a great rest of the month Linda.

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    1. I hear you about saying 'goodbye' to those golden days outdoors, Bill. I'm a huge autumn fan, but this year I wanted summer to go on and on, probably because that season {like the others this year} wasn't restful and too many plans and traditions went up in smoke.

      I'm guessing it's hard for Jo to be 6 hours away from her sister. Please tell her I'm sorry that she hasn't been able to see her for so long.

      And next year? Well, I can't say that I believe that Covid will be gone by then. But maybe they'll be a vaccine or some kind of breakthrough. And I'm not all that sure about a peaceful transition no matter who wins the election.

      Praise God He never changes, yes?

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  5. I will keep your mother in my prayers. It’s been very difficult for those in nursing homes. I am ready for this to all be over as well. I’m hoping that we will all get through the winter safe and healthy.

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    1. Thank you, friend. I read this article tonight ... it saddened me so but I know it's true.

      https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/hidden-covid-19-health-crisis-elderly-people-are-dying-isolation-n1244853

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  6. If we have learned nothing else in 2020, it's to not carve any plans in stone. Keeping your dear mother in my prayers.You do have a lot to celebrate, Linda. Even in the midst of a pandemic!

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    1. You're so right, Laurie! There's always something good, lovely, excellent, or praiseworthy to focus on. The truths of that Philippians 4 passage hit home again and again!

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  7. Enjoyed this read so much this morning. Oh my! So many things have surely changed in 2020 and plans....WELL....God's Word surely means it when it says, "For I know the plans I have for you". Speaking of loved ones...Oh dear Linda. My sister and I have only been able to see our mother twice since March. About the time we thought we would have some sort of visitation set up with protocols of course, then another resident or employee gets sick. Back to NO VISITORS! My mom has dementia. It has surely been a sad thing. My prayer has been "Stay focused on Jesus". Stay focused, stay focused! Lord help us all. Our ladies bible study is finishing up Phil. chapter 4 tonight. WOW! The Lord's timing with this study for me has been so ON TIME! Hope the rest of your week is wonderful. Hugs and blessings, Cindy

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    1. Oh Cindy, I am so sorry to hear that you and your sister haven't been able to see your Mom. I don't think people can fully appreciate this hardship until they've been there. This is indeed a sad season. I so appreciate your wisdom in staying focused on Jesus in the midst of frustration and grief.

      He is our peace, our hope, our stability. Please know that I am going to be praying for your family. I know God is going to keep you on my heart.

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  8. Lots of good things in your post today Linda. Yes, it is a difficult time, but as Valerie said above, she took solace in knowing that her father was being taken care of and was safe, even if she couldn't see him. I am trying not to take things forgranted and enjoy phone conversations or any contact with Mom more. Each contact becomes more precious.

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    1. Yes, yes, Mah. I am so relieved that Mom is being taken care of. She's eating better, sleeping better, and READING again! This is such mercy. You're right, every conversation is precious right now. All will be well.

      Now ... to get that phone working!

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  9. 2020 wasn't bad
    as my years have gone;
    'twas a mix of sane and mad,
    despair and yes, good fun.
    Although mine and world's ills
    have kept attention focused,
    I wasn't chased through jungle hills
    by really pissed-off locals.
    Won't pass Thanksgiving in a ditch,
    well-hid for closest recon,
    and won't likely hit a switch
    for a nail-filled roadside bomb.
    As ever, come the fall I'm perky,
    and thankful that I'm not a turkey.

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    1. Well, yes, I guess when you compare life in 2020 with your past life ... I guess I can see where you're coming from.

      I've known a few turkeys in my day ... and I'm glad to agree that you're not one of them.

      Hi to Barbara ...

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    2. Yeah, nobody here but us chickens...and Barb sends her love.

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  10. I'm so sorry about the situation with your mom. I am praying that God will make this virus ebb away as soon as possible. Amen about finding and appreciating the small blessings.

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    1. Oh yes, Lord, give us eyes to see even the smallest of graces in our lives!

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  11. Our bible study group is going through Ecclesiastes, and over and over is the message of trusting even when we don't understand. If we don't trust, we don't believe in God's sovereignty. Also, to eat and be merry even in the hard times. Must admit I have gained a few pounds during this time as I became more creative with my baking and meals! I can say I've been following God's word by doing so. lol! I am learning not to worry about tomorrow during this time, for sure.

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    1. Well, this made me smile right outloud, Lynn -->'eat and be merry even in the hard times. Must admit I have gained a few pounds during this time as I became more creative with my baking and meals! I can say I've been following God's word by doing so.'

      ;-}

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  12. My overriding thoughts as we come to the close of October is: When will this ever end??? Yes, so many plans cancelled or indefinitely postponed during these months, but I have seen a definite strengthening in my trust and faith in God. He, after all, is the only one truly in control, and I pray that knowing all of our needs, He will act on our behalf.
    I can also identify with being separated from a mother. I have only seen mine from a distance, with a mask, and it's the most unnerving, unnatural thing I have ever experienced. Yes, we talk at least once a day, but how I miss going down to her house and staying with her for days at a time! Can we have that vaccine, please?
    Blessings, dear Linda, and stay strong!

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    1. Oh Martha, you know I am aching with you as I read about seeing your Mom only at a distance. You've said it well ... it is the most unnerving, unnatural thing. It just flies in the face of all that's sacred about relationships.

      Lord, give us strength to somehow do this well.

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  13. Ahhhh, Linda. Your place always gives me a breath of fresh air. Thank you for sharing this post. I continue to pray for you and your family as you walk through this season. I love that God prompted you to start your group of women during this pandemic. It sounds like it's been soul-filling in a stressful time.

    As my October rolls to a close, I'm meditating on how much we need rest. It's been kind of a crazy month in a lot of little ways and a couple of bigger ways. But God . . . He is always with us in the crazy, isn't He? Sending you a hug, friend.

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    1. Yeah, I love that God prompted the support group. When I finally started to pray about what I might be able to do at the church, He answered within a few days when a woman came up to me one Sunday morning and asked if somehow a few of us could get together, face to face, and connect and talk.

      Bingo! Even with social distancing!

      Thank You, Jesus.

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  14. My heart breaks as I think of you not being able to see your dear Mom. As much as I long for my precious parents and miss them every, single day, I have been grateful many times through this awful mess that they are already at home with Jesus resting in His arms. I do not believe I would be able to bear seeing either of them locked away from me. To even think of it makes me cry. My sweet Aunt Linda can't see her 92 year old sister, and they are the last two siblings out of 16 children. She has dementia, so she doesn't really know what is going on, but it is awful hard on Aunt Linda to not be able to go make sure she eats her meals and do all the things she used to do for her on a daily basis. It is one of the saddest things in the world to not be able to be with the ones you love, and I can see so many ways the enemy is using it all. I tell you what, I have never before had so many people in my circle who are praying, "Even so, come, Lord Jesus." Praise God, this world is not our eternal home, and we are citizens of another country where all of us will be together forever with NO separations or good-byes. And, the best part of all, is we will be with the One Who died for us and made it possible for all of us to get there. My heart goes out to you so much, and I want you to know I have been concerned and praying for you. Sending love and a great, big hug your way today.

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    1. Thanks for the love, hug, and especially prayers, Cheryl! You hit the nail on the head when you said, 'It is one of the saddest things in the world to not be able to be with the ones you love, and I can see so many ways the enemy is using it all.'

      I already knew it was sad, and it is. Yes, yes. But I hadn't expanded that reality to see how the enemy is using this all. He knows which buttons to push to nudge us to places we do not need to go and specializes in keeping us stuck in discouragement, despondency.

      I really appreciate your wisdom this morning. You've added an important dimension for all of us making our way through unsettled, tragic times.

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  15. 'Thy will be done, Amen!" You and your mom have been in my prayers, friend. Such a hard situation. Blessings to you in this season of thanksgiving!

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    1. Don't you just love that simple prayer?! It says it all ... and keeps me from being tempted to wave a magic wand and make myself crazy trying to figure everything out and find some kind of illusive answer to make everything 'right' again.

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  16. I've pulled out my big pink eraser this year too. I've done lots of Sudoku this year to get my mind recentered away from anxious thoughts...and that meant a lot of erasing.

    I'm so wishing I lived close enough to participate in your support group. What a gift you have nurtured for those around you, Linda! May God continue to bless you all.

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    1. I've been thinking of how I could do an online support group with Zoom ... but I am absolutely technologically challenged and the logistics would totally consume me.

      I guess I'm hoping that these kind of dialogues will help us all sort through our stuff, lament fully, and continue forward ...

      Bless you, friend.

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  17. I cannot believe it but I have a big pink eraser sitting right on my desk! Linda, the photo of you and your mom moved me to tears. Praying for you both. My parents are 85YO and live with us. I cannot even imagine going through this. May God strengthen you all and keep you all healthy until the day, you all can be together unfettered by masks and time. Blessings!

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    1. Please know, Joanne, that I will be praying for you as you make your way through this season with both parents living with you. What a gift you are giving them. I pray for grace and strength, a sense of humor, and joy in caring for them.

      Bless you.

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  18. Oh Linda ... in these few paragraphs, you've said so much that resonates so very deeply. Much love to you and yours, dear friend.

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    1. Yes, Lois. I thought of you and your parents when they were in the nursing home.

      Sometimes there's just no words.

      Bless you, friend.

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  19. Hold all things lightly is one of my regular mantras and one I need to be reminded of constantly. Great thoughtful list, Linda!

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    1. I've had to learn this lesson repeatedly over the decades.

      I'm hoping I'm making a bit of progress ...

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  20. I'm so sorry to hear about your mother, Linda! She was always so kind to me and my family when we all attended church together years ago, a truly lovely woman. Not sure if she'd remember me after all this time, but please tell her hello. How hard for you and your sister to be so limited in your time with her ... will pray for you!

    And yes to the prayer that never fails during this tumultuous political season! It's a great reminder that God still reigns over all of this...so good to remember in moments when anxiety kicks in about all that's in the news and prophesied by the pundits.

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    1. Lauren it's so very good to hear from you! I certainly will tell Mom you said 'hi.'

      Tumultuous is a very apt word for where we find ourselves these days. Thankfully, our hope doesn't rest in politics or policies but in Christ alone.

      He is our peace.

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  21. Continued prayers for your mother and all those who love her. May her care be tender and merciful, her knowledge of how very loved she is - a comfort. Prayers for the helpers and the healing and the heartbroken. Prayers for you, sweet friend.

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    1. Barbara, thank you! Our prayer lists can't help but grow as we look around and see the needs on every side. I'm so grateful that God is not overwhelmed or surprised, but is filled with compassion and mercy.

      Bless you, friend, this weekend.

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  22. Thank you for sharing your family's autumn story. I'm so sad for you and your family... and I'm so thankful God prepared you by creating space and Sabbath for you to walk through the valley. May He continue to give you, your sister and your Mom grace for each day. Warmly, Carla

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    1. Carla, thank you for your prayers for that Sabbath rest!

      We just found out today that it will be a few weeks til we can see Mom again, hopefully, due to Covid.

      Disappointed? Yes. But at peace. Indeed.

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  23. Your post made me think about how different 2020 has been to what I, actually we all expected. So now with October behind me, my heart is on our nation. This morning in prayer I just felt completely overwhelmed with everything that is going on. I need to just keep focused on the Lord. That's all I can do.

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