Monday, September 9, 2019

Remembering Tyler (2014 - 2015)


Tim and I were happily chatting with another couple recently and they asked if we had any grandchildren.  'Yes, we have seven ... the littlest one is in heaven,' I replied.

It's abrupt and people often aren't quite sure how to respond.  But I haven't found a more subtle way to share what is true about this precious little boy we were blessed with for such a short time.

It's four years ago today that our youngest grandchild went to see Jesus face to face.  His name was Tyler and he still lives very close to our hearts.  Since that awful day when God suddenly took him up to his new heavenly home, I'm confident that the little guy's been happy and whole, finally able to freely shout with joy, powerful little legs finally allowing him to run and jump and play in the celestial city with his great-grandpa who died just two months before him.

If you didn't know Tyler, his short story is here.  If he was still with us, he would have boarded a yellow school bus last week to start kindergarten.  I bet he would have loved being with all the kids, relished the activity, been the leader of the pack.

My tears brim yet again.

*

I'd like to think that five short weeks ago, an angel or some celestial being corralled Tyler and his great-grandpa and directed them to head over to heaven's gate right before his mama's cousin Jessica suddenly came to join them.  She adored them both and I'm positive that all three of them were overjoyed at their family reunion.

Jessica sketched this picture of Tyler after his death.  I'm thinking of them together with my Dad who prayed faithfully for them when he was on earth.  Maybe they're soaking up the sun around the crystal sea ... or found a good spot together before the throne.  Dad always did love to get the best seats in the house for those he loved.


I've recently been wondering if Dad was surprised that a great-grandson and a granddaughter came to join him so soon ... or if somehow he knew they'd arrive before their time and had been lending a hand in preparing a place for them.

Or was he too caught up in the unspeakable magnificence of singing praises with the heavenly host, his vibrant tenor voice worshiping Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

I guess we'll never know for sure 'til we get there.  I can't help but think that by then, we won't care much about the details.  For we'll be so taken up in joining in the indescribably holy, joyful chorus of adoration to the Lamb who was slain.

*

As we continue to walk through this season of grief, I don't ask God why.  I don't know if I ever did.  If anything, I love and worship Him with a more deeper adoration than ever.  I am so grateful that He is solid and steady and doesn't change like shifting shadows.  He is the same yesterday, today, and forever and He's not going anywhere.

I find incredible comfort and solace in that reality.

It gives me that peace that passes understanding.

*

I don't believe that we were designed to lose those in the generations that follow us while we're still alive.  It goes against the rhythm of life as we know it.  It's a horribly surreal and hugely out of kilter experience to bury someone far before their time.  It's a unique grief that's excruciating to experience, mind-blowing to sift through, impossible to put into words.

But I know for sure that Jesus weeps with us.  That the Spirit holds us tight when the tears come, when things absolutely don't make sense, when the bottom seems to fall out of our world.

When we all get to heaven,
what a day of rejoicing that will be!

When we all see Jesus
we'll sing and shout the victory.
Eliza Hewitt
1889

Linda
P.S.
I've found incredible comfort in sharing my grief stories in recent years.  I want the people I love to be remembered and valued.  Knowing that you're not alone in grief is a huge gift we give each other as we do community together.  Please feel free to share your story of loss with us ...

38 comments:

  1. My eyes are spilling with tears with you Linda. Grief takes many forms, not always in losing a person but having lost our parents, my mom to dementia which was the too long goodbye, I know that to be the deepest grief. I am thankful with the promise and hope we have, the confidence they are again whole and rejoicing. I'm glad I loved them so much that I still feel the loss. Yes, friend, sharing with one another is a comfort and gift. Thanks for leading the way.

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    1. I read recently somewhere that our weeping is a love song to the beloved one we have lost.

      That says it all.

      Yes, dementia is such a long goodbye, filled with twists and turns we'd never thought we'd encounter, especially in a parent. My heart aches with yours.

      Thank you for starting off this tender conversation, Debby. It's not an easy one but it is necessary.

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  2. Thanks so much for sharing this continuing journey. I will be sharing a little piece of mine in my blog post Wednesday (More Than Banana Bread). It takes a bit for us to come to grips with how many losses we come to experience in this life. Some are obvious while others can be difficult even though not seen by others - things like miscarriages as one example or even still births - and it wasn't God's plan before the fall. I cannot imagine doing life and losses without Jesus or the hope He gives that our separations with those whom we love and know Him will be temporary.❤️

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    1. Yes, yes, Pam ... miscarriages, still births are too often hushed up. These broken parents ache not only to hold their babies, but to let the world know that this little one was a person of value, beauty, and worth.

      I look forward, as always, to your Banana Bread post tomorrow. I continue to count you as a prized mentor and learn much in reading your words.

      Your last post, especially, was simply superb!
      READERS - Be sure to check out Wise, Foolish, or Evil
      https://pamecrement.com/2019/09/09/wise-foolish-or-evil-2/

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  3. They try to add a gentle leaven
    to my tear-stained misery:
    "He's safe with God in Heaven!"
    But I wanted him safe with me.
    I know that we will meet again,
    but I fear time will adrade
    the pure and sharp heartache and pain,
    and he'll from my memory fade.
    I want to hold on to the grief,
    for it's all that I have left.
    Somehow, someway there's some relief
    in days broken and bereft.
    Please, God, let me keep this sorrow,
    and not move on into tomorrow.

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    1. Andrew, this line knocked me right over --> 'But I wanted him safe with me.'

      God understands.

      Absolutely.

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  4. Oh, what a sweet, beautiful little boy! I am so sorry you have had to go through such losses, Linda.

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    1. Cheryl, thanks.

      He was a precious one, for sure ...

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  5. Little Tyler was a gem, and I know you will miss him always, Linda. And no, it never seems "right" when someone is taken before what we deem to be their time, but God is ever present in all our moments. Jesus weeps when we do.
    Blessings!

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    1. Jesus wept.

      He was a man of sorrows, well acquainted with grief, death, dying, anguish, abandonment.

      He truly gets us where we are and welcomes us just as we are.

      I'm so grateful.

      Thanks for being here with me week in, week out, friend. You are a blessing.

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  6. You and your family have experienced such profound grief, Linda! I can't even imagine how difficult all of this is, yet your faith is stronger than ever! You inspire me to trust God more, especially in the hard, unfair and confusing times of life. I can't believe it's been four years since Tyler died. He was such a cutie! And Jessica was quite the artist as well. What a gift she left behind for you to cherish and share with us here. Praying for you and your family, dear friend! Wish I could hug your neck as well.

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    1. I'd love a hug from you right about now, friend.

      Thank you for remembering when, those four years ago. It means so much to still have you in my life even from afar.

      May God keep on prospering your marriage ministry. Oh, so very much needed!

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  7. I loved reading Tyler's story. I've often wondered, too, whether loved ones in heaven look at what we're doing, fellowship with each other, or are just "lost in wonder, love, and praise," as the hymn says, around the throne. I guess we'll all find out some day. Praying for God's tender grace in these remembrances.

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    1. Thank you for letting me know you read Tyler's story. It's a grandma's natural instinct to share her little ones with her friends.

      You've made me smile, Barbara.

      And yes, there is tender grace, isn't there, in the remembering, in the mercies God sends each morning. Thank you for that good reminder.

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  8. My heart still aches with you all over the loss of Tyler. What a beautiful little boy. I know he's whole and happy where he is, but I do wish that you all you could have had more time with him here. One day you'll have eternity, but until then, I'll keep remembering Tyler with you.

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    1. Your sweet mama's heart resonates with mine over the sorrowful loss of a little one. I honor you today and the memories you hold precious, dear Lisa.

      Sending a hug your way ...

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  9. Linda, what a precious little one that is with Jesus. I have often thought of questions I would ask Him when I get to Heaven, but just like you said I don’t think when we are in the presence of God that we will need answers. Grief is so difficult and it comes over me like waves crashing on the sea. Hugs~

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    1. May you find Jesus in the waves that crash, in the storms that come, dear Pam. I think I hear what you're saying and my heart reaches out to yours.

      Bless you ...

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  10. What a beautiful gift your grandson is! I bet his smile made your day! Praying God continues to comfort you in these hard places.

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    1. He was a sweetie. Thank you for reaching out, Rebecca. Yes, your prayers are being answered daily for God's comfort is evident even and especially in the hard places.

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  11. The tears spilled out as I cannot imagine the loss of a grandchild. Praying for you during this time you grieve the loss of your loved ones. I am so grateful our God not only comforts us but also fills us with hope of a blessed reunion.

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    1. Your tears are a kind gift to me this morning, Joanne. Thank you for allowing them to spill and for letting me know you've stopped by.

      This means the world ...

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  12. One day, you'd be reunited and this present sorrow would be far gone, and forgotten. Blessings to you and your family, Linda!

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  13. I am praying for you all, Linda.

    God bless.

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    1. Victor, thanks. Your prayers matter to God ... and to me.

      Bless you, friend.

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  14. I love the photo of Tyler and Jessica's picture of him too. And it is a beautiful image you describe of both of them being reunited with one another and with your dad. Sending you a hug today and praying that you continue to know God's peace and comfort.

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    1. My Dad would have just loved you, my Scottish friend!

      Thanks for that long distance hug ... much appreciated.

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  15. Linda, thank you for sharing about Tyler. Since I didn't "know" you when he first passed into heaven, I was grateful to see another piece of your story here today. I am truly sorry for the loss your family has experienced. The picture of loved ones coming to heaven's gate to meet a newly arrived saint makes me smile. I can only imagine the great reunion your family will have one day.

    Sending you a Colorado hug and some prayers.

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    1. I don't think I've ever had a Colorado hug before, Jeanne!

      Thanks for that sweet touch and for your prayers, much needed.

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  16. What a beautiful boy. And such a lovely sketch. Yes, holding onto the truth that He doesn't change like shifting shadows and understands our grief is a hug to our heart. Hugs and love to you!

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    1. I'm scooping all the hugs and love and am holding them so very close, Lynn.

      Y'all are the fragrance of Christ to me.

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  17. Well, Linda ... I scarcely know what to say after reading this. It's perfect. Thank you, dear friend. My prayers for your family continue ...

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    1. Lois, I'm thinking of you often as we both walk through this season of complex grief ...

      Praying right now for you, for yours.

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  18. "But I know for sure that Jesus weeps with us. That the Spirit holds us tight when the tears come, when things absolutely don't make sense, when the bottom seems to fall out of our world." Amen! My heart cries that Tyler can't go to Kindergarten, Linda. I love the beautiful sketch Jessica made of him. It seems so unfair that both of them had to leave you all so soon. I'm so grateful Jesus weeps with us in those times when things don't make sense. I loved Maria Shriver's words and story, too, in your last post. I continue to pray for you. Love and blessings of strength and peace in the midst of all the pain!

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    1. Yes, His strength surpasses those weaknesses we all encounter! I'm so grateful.

      Weekend blessings to you, Trudy ...

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  19. Beautifully written, Linda. Never stop sharing. Your journey, even in grief, matters greatly. May He continue to comfort and heal you.

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    1. June, you've encouraged me to keep writing from wherever I'm coming from.

      And I thank you.

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