
We're no exception in this neck of the woods.
I completely avoid the word entertaining. Yuck. No one's trying to impress anyone around here. We just want everyone to kick off their shoes {the kiddos know to toss them in the big wicker basket so grandma doesn't trip}, relax, and enjoy whatever's happening.
In recent years, Father's Day has become one of those times where relations from far and near come together for an extended weekend and this is where they land.
I love it.
But this introvert learned long ago that not only do I need to have clean sheets on the beds and extra food in the fridge, but I do well to ready my soul for the joy-filled noise and ceaseless activity and rollicking good times that are to come.
As Emily Freeman oft' says, 'to make space for your soul to breathe.'
This works for me ~
I clear my calendar.
I purposely create a large margin of white space around myself a week or so before everyone starts arriving. I say 'no thanks' to meetings, appointments, and activities that don't need my attendance or involvement.
I pull back online.
I might do a bit of writing but you won't find me running around. I'll see you later.
I stock the cupboards well ahead of time.
The final shopping trip will pretty much be fresh produce, meat, breads, and dairy.
I clear away the random tchotchkes from counters and tables.
We need every spare inch of free space we can find.
I save the heavy duty cleaning for after everyone has departed.
My philosophy has morphed into a 'why clean twice?' attitude. Yes, the bathroom is scrubbed and the sheets are clean, but I save any other cleaning for after the last car has departed.
I let everyone around me roll up their sleeves in the kitchen.
I used to think I had to be in charge of each meal. No more. Everyone around here is probably alot more capable than I am. I let them do their thing. And no one arrives at the door empty-handed. I'm not that gracious.
I find pockets of solitude in the midst of it all.
I'll sneak away for a little devotional time and prayer. Or I'll head to my room for some extra time in the morning or at night to decompress. No one needs to have me around every second.
I leave myself plenty of quiet space after.
My husband and I join forces for a huge cleaning marathon when all is done. The kitchen, laundry, floors, bathrooms get attacked with all our might.
And then we nap. Sit and quietly process all the joy and madness. And then nap some more.
Let's talk about how you prepare yourself for family gatherings ... I'd love to hear what works for you!
Linda
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I will be the first to comment since I am part of Linda's family gathering! I get ready for family gatherings totally opposite than my sister. My calendar is not cleared, it is packed with activity until the last minute, otherwise I will find I have those "forgotten" things to do while people are here or I am at their house. I spend days and nights cleaning before a group arrives, so everything is clean. Once they leave, I wash sheets and towels, but I don't rush to clean anything else - it can wait. I agree that everyone can bring food and help set up and clean up. They have more energy than me anyway! I don't take alone time when everyone is here. I don't want to miss one minute. It is noisy, at times chaotic, but I will catch Linda's eye across the room and we smile, happy to have everyone together, remembering past reunions and realizing that we are now the older generation. I look around the room, thank God for everyone there - with all our differences and all our struggles - then I walk into the bathroom, close the door and cry for those family members missing or who are in heaven. When I return to the room, I catch Linda's eye and we hug - though so different from each other, we don't need words to understand the meaning of family.
ReplyDeleteGosh, Marilyn, you've said it so well. Your comment could be a post all by itself.
DeleteI've been struck again recently that even though we are as different as day and night, our hearts beat as one on the things that are most important, that are non-negotiable.
And I am so thankful that you are my sister ...
xo
Marilyn —-That was a Kodak moment or a Hallmark commercial. Brought tears to my eyes and how blessed to have that family connection with a sibling. Well said!!!
DeleteYes, blessed.
DeleteYES-then I nap! Recovery can take as long as the visit! Enjoy your time with them all!
ReplyDeleteBlessings!
'Recovery can take as long as the visit!'
DeleteOr longer ...
;-}
Linda, you have the perfect attitude about family gatherings. Everyone should be willing to pitch in, and introverts like us need to be allowed to post a hasty retreat now and then from all the flurry of activity. Our last large family gathering was last July at my mother's house to celebrate her 90th birthday. What a bash that was! Who knows, maybe we'll all gather for the 91st.
ReplyDeleteHave a grand time with your family!
Blessings!
Martha, this made me smile --> 'introverts like us need to be allowed to post a hasty retreat now and then from all the flurry of activity.'
DeletePost a hasty retreat ... I love how you've worded that need to catch our breaths!
;-)
I'd be very grateful to have a family gathering with hustle and bustle, sleepovers, lazy mornings outside on decks and lake views, and evenings around a fire pit, and all that large families can bring! Knowing yourself well I'm sure helps make the experience the best it can be for you. Enjoy!
ReplyDeleteI hear you, Lynn ...
DeleteMy routine is similar to yours even though big gatherings are rare for our family and usually happen at Christmas. Our children are 350 and 520 miles from us respectively and between each other nearly 1,300 miles. This and the changes that come from having adult grandchildren with jobs, advanced college programs, etc. means it is rare for us all to get together. Our home is not large, but works great for us and worked great when we were raising our 2 children. If everyone comes here, that currently numbers 12 and since everyone is adult size we are very much squeezed in every area. Hence, the list you suggest is one I adopted some time ago. I LOVE it when they all come, but I confess to also now enjoying when the house is quieter again....even as a moderate extrovert.😊
ReplyDeleteHow reassuring to those of us who claim introvert status that even extroverts aren't all that different when the final car pulls out the drive!
DeleteAnd isn't it fascinating that we can treasure the quiet even while missing everyone ten minutes after they've said goodbye ...
;-)
There will be no visits now,
ReplyDeleteno family dropping by.
My life is just a breaking bough,
and you need not watch me die.
We don't need the awkward talk,
"How are ya? Oh, you're dyin'."
Go out with Barb, take a walk,
while I watch the sparrows flying.
I appreciate your sincere sorrow
but I know we'll meet again,
in some bright God-framed tomorrow
so don't think of me 'till then.
As I drift from Earth-life's golden shore,
on the far horizon...there's a Golden Door.
I have no words, Andrew ...
DeleteYou know my prayers continue, friend.
Your prayers mean the world to us, Linda.
DeleteMy love to Barb and the lads ...
DeleteMy small family lives within an hour of each other, so we get together often. I have enjoyed guests that stay over, but a large crowd demands rest before and after. I know you will enjoy your family and then clean and take a nap when they all leave! It is always a blessing to visit with you Linda!
ReplyDeletePam, good morning! You are blessed to have your loved ones nearby. I've often wished that everyone I loved lived close by ... family, friends.
DeleteBut God had other plans!
So much practical wisdom, Linda.
ReplyDeleteAnd I was just telling a friend how important it is for me to have horizontal space clear in the house in order to think. We're just coming off a time of marathon social stuff: people here, invitations to go and be with more people.
Phew.
The horizontal surfaces of my brain need some time alone in the garden.
Horizontal space. Well said, Michele.
DeleteAnd now I'm headed back out to our Cape Cod lawn / weed patch. There's much work for us to do and I'm pacing myself.
;-)
I love this advice, Linda. (I just shared it on Twitter.) And perfect timing. We're going on vacation soon with family, and I need to buffer the time with some quality solitude on both sides of the trip.
ReplyDeleteI learned years ago to save the mopping for after company is gone, not before. :)
Buffer. Yes, please, Lisa. I absolutely agree!
DeleteAnd thanks for sharing on Twitter ... I really appreciate you helping get the word out!
;-)
This is great advice, Linda. :) I hope you have a wonderful time with family. And quiet moments, too! I love your sister's comment, too. :) Love and blessings to you!
ReplyDeleteTrudy, hi!
DeleteYep, I appreciated Marilyn's comment too 'cause it's a great reminder that we're all different from each other and what works for one doesn't mean it will be the best choice for the other!
;-)
Linda,
ReplyDeleteYour post is an encouragement to me! I am not one who can go like the Energizer Bunny from one thing right into the next. Like you, I need to build in time to breathe before, during, and afterward. I sometimes felt like that was a flaw that I couldn't just go,go,go...but I've come to realize that's just how I'm wired. Thanks for sharing and have a wonderful time together!
Blessings,
Bev xx
Yep, you're right, Bev. This is how God has shaped us ... more than ever, in this season. No flaw at all. Just the nature of how our bodies and souls operate.
DeleteYes please to purposely building in time to breathe, to slow down, to savor His goodness to us.
Love, love, love that sign on your porch. Wish I had that sign AND a porch to put it on but for just me, my patio works well.
ReplyDeleteYes extroverts can handle only so much on-time too. Since we are stimulated by interacting, I bet we tire quicker. Our gatherings are small in number but with 4 dachshund rippin it up, we get quite riotous. I def do some of the things you do to keep the energy flowing
Have fun with the kiddles
4 dachshunds stealing the show, capturing your hearts, feeding your happiness! I know you love every minute of it, Carol!
DeleteYou've created such a special place here, Linda. So happy I stopped by. Virtual visits require no cleaning at all ... and I still enjoyed the geraniums on the front stoop! Happy Father's Day!
ReplyDeleteOh I love this, Barbara -->'Virtual visits require no cleaning at all'
DeleteSo true!
I love how you prepare for your gatherings. I don't add enough margin and sometimes I am exhausted by the time anyone gets here. But I love a house full of people.
ReplyDeleteMaree, hi! Once everyone arrives, I get into the flow and just roll with it! I learned long ago not to orchestrate or try to manage anything more than the absolute basics.
DeleteIt's His gathering, not mine ...
;-)