Sunday, May 13, 2018

Because Mother's Day Isn't Always What It's Cracked Up To Be







To those who gave birth this year to their first child - we celebrate with you

To those who lost a child this year - we mourn with you

To those who are in the trenches with little ones every day and wear the badge of food stains -  we appreciate you

To those who experienced loss through miscarriage, failed adoptions, or running away - we mourn with you

To those who walk the hard path of infertility, fraught with pokes, prods, tears, and disappointment - we walk with you.  Forgive us when we say foolish things.  We don't mean to make this harder than it is.

To those who are foster moms, mentor moms, and spiritual moms - we need you

To those who have warm and close relationships with your children - we celebrate with you

To those who have disappointment, heart ache, and distance with your children - we sit with you

To those who lost their mothers this year - we grieve with you

To those who experienced abuse at the hands of your own mother - we acknowledge your experience

To those who lived through driving tests, medical tests, and the overall testing of motherhood - we are better for having you in our midst

To those who have aborted children - we remember them and you on this day

To those who are single and long to be married and mothering your own children - we mourn that life has not turned out the way you longed for it to be

To those who step-parent - we walk with you on these complex paths

To those who envisioned lavishing love on grandchildren - yet that dream is not to be, we grieve with you

To those who will have emptier nests in the upcoming year - we grieve and rejoice with you

To those who placed children up for adoption - we commend you for your selflessness and remember how you hold that child in your heart

And to those who are pregnant with new life, both expected and surprising - we anticipate with you

This Mother's Day, we walk with you.  Mothering is not for the faint of heart and we have real warriors in our midst.  We remember you.
- An open letter to pastors {a non-mom speaks about Mother's Day}
  Amy Young, 2012




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24 comments:

  1. Strange. I don't ever recall calling it Mother's Day while in worship. Even my sermon was on women whose lives were changed by God's grace. I have tried to become more aware of other women in the church who are not celebrating MD...my own daughter included since she has never married. Great tribute Linda.

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    1. Amy's words in her original post are a powerful reminder of how searing it can be to sit in a pew on that second Sunday in May. I knew more than a few women who have refused to set foot in a church on this day.

      Sad.

      I always love hearing how you do church, Bill.

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  2. Marilyn DavidsonMay 14, 2018 at 11:55 AM

    A wonderful post. Mothering is done so many different ways. Wonderful to remember those whose experiences aren't the way they envisioned it would be.

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    1. Truth be told, we had no idea what lay in store, did we ...

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  3. Wow. These are powerful words, regardless of what day it is. Thanks for sharing these reminders, Linda. We need to place value on our opportunities to walk alongside each other, wherever it goes and however different our paths are.

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    1. Valuing our opportunities. Love that perspective, Lisa.

      This is a privilege, not a burden, isn't it ...

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  4. I've been thinking this year of ways to "honor mothers without alienating others," as Amy said, not just in church but in the blogosphere. It seems like the pendulum swings one way or the other. This was beautifully written and well-balanced.

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    1. No wonder her words have gone viral over the years ...

      Love your goal to honor the women amongst us ... no matter what their parenting status, Barbara. Superb.

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  5. Yes, we remember them all . . . Oh, how this brought tears to my eyes, Linda. Thank you so much for sharing these thoughts.
    Blessings!

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    1. Yes to tears. Mother's Day is especially filled with them, whether from sorrow or joy.

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    1. Amy is someone tender and wise for sure ...

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  7. Thanks for sharing these words. I love the reminder that mothering can take so many forms and have so many feeling attached to it.

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    1. This is definitely not a cookie-cutter role, is it ...

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  8. Such powerful and beautiful words! You covered every scenario there is and I thank you. We have no idea what the word "mother" means to all women but I feel you gave us a glimpse into what this looks like. I hope you had a good Mother's Day!

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    1. Mother's Day is oft' a bittersweet one, isn't it ... so much to rejoice over, yet there's a sadness, too.

      They do co-mingle, don't they.

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  9. This is such a beautiful tribute, Linda. Thank you for sharing Amy's heartfelt words. I love what I once read from Holley Gerth. I'm not sure I'm saying the exact words, but it goes something like, "All women are mothers, because they all nurture someone in some way." Love and hugs to you!

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    1. Yes, yes, Trudy! We've all been called to mentor, to guide, to love. Our spiritual mothers and grandmamas have had an immense impact on our lives, haven't they ...

      http://www.lindastoll.net/2017/05/an-ode-of-gratitude-to-our-spiritual.html

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  10. Dear Linda, this perhaps the best Mother's Day post I've ever read. Mother, daughter, sister, grandparent, adoptive parent, and still it's not one of my favorite days. Thank you for affirming that being/having a mother isn'the always sofy, pink baby blankets and roses!

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    1. Alice, thank you for letting me know that Amy's words have impacted you this morning.

      I'm thinking you're in good company ... it's not a favorite day for many of our sisters. They're heaving great sighs of relief that it's over for one more year.

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  11. This is so lovely, Linda! I know you are one who feels the sting and joy of Mother's Day. I'm praying for you, dear friend and for all of your family at this bittersweet time of year.

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    1. I hope you got to spend time with your family on Sunday, Beth! I'm betting they just love their mama!

      ;-}

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  12. Linda you've certainly shared one of the most beautiful and poignant Mother's Day posts I've ever read. It is so true that Mother's Day is a most difficult day for so many women. I've got several friends who have never had children, and yet they have been like a mother to me... and yet I know it is a hard day for them. I must save this and send it to them. Bless you for writing such powerful words!

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    1. And bless you for your kindness and sensitivity to your friends ...

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Dear Reader ~

Technical glitches happen.

* sigh *

Doesn't seem to be a place to leave your comment? Or your comment doesn't show up within an hour or so?

I'd love if you'd email me your contribution ... I'd be delighted to hand post it as soon as possible.

lindastoll @ juno . com

My apologies. And thanks for the grace ...

Linda