Thursday, September 29, 2016

In Which I Am Indisposed

in.dis.posed

adjective
1.  slightly unwell.
'my wife is indisposed'

synonyms: ill, unwell, sick, on the sick list, poorly, ailing, not {very} well, out of sorts, out of action, under the weather, laid up

*

I put the surgery off long enough.  A tennis-ball-sized cyst has no business growing inside you.  This was the week ... and here's what I've learned.




You quickly learn that your anesthesiologist becomes your best friend.  

When your arms have been worked over for far-too-long becoming two gigantic pin cushions as 3 nurses tag team a tenderly relentless hunt for a tiny willing vein to hold an IV, you have no choice but to loudly and desperately command, 'knock me out.'

Said anesthesiologist has no choice but to pay prompt attention to your very insistent prompts {and your husband's quiet yet stern warnings}.  He takes one glance at the anxious hot mess you've become and he has mercy on your sobbing soul.

Wake me when it's over.  Sweet bliss indeed.




The next generation of medical professionals are the most compassionate, caring, competent ever.

Especially the women {nothing against my anesthesiologist friend}.  But really, these women are topnotch.  Smart and intuitive and people-savvy.  I love my surgeon and all her healing partners.  {Did I mention that my youngest daughter is back in school so she can join their ranks?  I'm thinking free medical consultation and care for life.}




You think you're never going to get well.

The first days home were like one long unending out-of-body experience.

The fading anesthesia and ever-present pain meds control your body even as you want to be done with their oh-so-wicked side effects.  Every step is tentative, every breath fragile, you long for sleep if you could only get comfortable.  You want to focus to read or write but it's beyond useless so you simply lay there and watch the entire first season of Downton Abbey.

You're fairly sure you'll never stop wearing a nightgown.  You'll never write another word that matters, never be able to produce any kind of meaningful work again.  Or be able to do a load of laundry or have a conversation that doesn't revolve around your endless ailments.




Gifts like prayer and chocolate, texts and flowers, cards and warm comfort food from someone else's kitchen are beautiful encouraging graces.    

In the midst of the heavy cloud that seems to cover you, it slowly dawns that others are rooting for you, cheering you on from the sidelines.  And their prayers and practical ways of saying 'I love you' keep you moving into each new hour.

And wonder of wonders, each day you realize you are getting just a bit stronger.  Your brain is becoming a tad clearer.  Your interest in all the love that's been flowing toward you grows more appreciative.  Your gratitude for prayer increases yet again.  The One who loves you most never left you for one single moment.

The pathology report confirms that no cancer is present.  All will be well. 




*

sharing the waning days of September with 
Leah  &  Holley

72 comments:

  1. Oh my gosh Linda, I had no idea that this was so serious. Thank God all is well, including you! I completely understand the feelings of inability and tiredness. Seems like it never will end. I'm so glad you have such wonderful friends and family to support you and love you and cheer you on.

    God bless your daughter, I know she'll be a wonderful doctor because she has wonderful parents (especially her mom). Don't overdo it, okay? Slow and steady wins the race.
    Blessings of healing and love,
    Ceil

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    1. Well, actually, she's back in school for nursing ... and you know how incredible those nurses are, don't ya'!

      ;-}

      Yes, I'll be keeping a fairly light footprint online and in real life for awhile. It's called sanity!

      Delete
  2. Oh, hooray, hooray, Linda! You're in the clear, and that's a tremendous blessing! Take it easy, and keep on healing, my friend, as God continues to bless you.

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  3. Hello Linda,
    So glad you are on the mend! Even though it sounds as if your husband is taking amazing care of you, if I were you, I'd make sure you get all the TLC you've been dreaming of (for the past 20 years or so even) before you get back on your feet again! :) And especially plenty of tea and crumpets to go along with your Downton Abbey fest! xo

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    1. Maybe we should invite Victor to join the Downton party? {See 5 comments below.}

      ;-}

      My husband enjoyed your TLC comment. Or maybe that was apprehension written all over his face!

      Delete
  4. Really glad that the surgery went well and that you are cancer-free.
    Now I hope that you can afford some time to "enjoy ill health" with some reading and quiet moments.
    Funny how you thought you'd never write another word, and the first thing that rolls off the ends of your fingers is this lovely post!

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    1. Every once in awhile you re-read something you wrote and know for sure that you weren't the one that wielded the pen.

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  5. Wow! That's a big cyst! I rejoice that it's out of you and it's not cancerous, Linda. I know too well the after-effects of anesthesia. Yuck! They usually have to give me something beforetime to help prevent stomach upheaval. I'm so glad your brain is clearing, and I hope the pain will decrease to nothing and your wound will heal well. This thought really comforts me - "The One who loves you most never left you for one single moment." Amen. Big hugs!

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    1. In the middle of my worst moments, Jesus was the one I cried out for. Repeatedly.

      I felt Him oh so near ...

      Delete
  6. You saved the best for last...NO CANCER IS PRESENT!!!!!!!

    Linda, I can't write more. SOmething wrong with my screen. It suddenly got all blurry on me. Weird.

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    1. Blurry. Yeah, I hear ya', pal. And I do hope that this week is working out to be better than last ...

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  7. Oh such wonderful news! I'm rooting for you! Get better soon!

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  8. So sorry to hear you have not been well. Especially having to endure a whole season of Downton Abbey. No one should suffer so much.

    Praying you get better soon.

    God bless.

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    1. Don't make me laugh, man! It hurts way too much!!!!!!!!

      Care to join me and Valerie for tea and crumpets? See her comment 5 people north of here.

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    2. Tea and crumpets yes. It's a great way to spend a splendid English afternoon in the garden. But not Downton Abbey. In our family, watching Downton Abbey is a punishment for when I've done something bad. And why do they always broadcast it at the same time as football?

      Hope you are feeling much better and cheerful. God bless you and your family.

      Delete
    3. My husband didn't start watching Downton Abbey til the final season. He said 'farewell' to men with helmets crashing into each other and 'hello' to Mr. Bates, Anna, Carson, and the rest of the gang.

      And that's why we've been married for more than 40 years ...

      ;-}

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  9. I'm so glad it went well and you are on the mend. Will continue to pray for you as you rest and recover.

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    1. I really appreciate that prayer support, Lesley ...

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  10. Your daughter has a long way to go! :)

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    1. You're on your way, Js ... and I couldn't be prouder or more excited. The sky's the limit for you ...

      If there's a next time, I'm taking you along for the ride, ok?

      x0x

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  11. We were so glad for the great news as things went well. We are so grateful for the positive results and appreciate you sharing. Keep getting your strength. You are loved!

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  12. Halleluuuuuuuuuujah! Rejoicing with you precious Linda!

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  13. No cancer is AMAZING!!!!! Keeping you in my prayers my sweet friend!! - http://www.domesticgeekgirl.com

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    1. It's all an amazing grace. And yet today I'm thinking of the people in my life who are facing cancer head on.

      There's no answers as to why or who, is there ...

      Delete
  14. oh Linda, that anesthesia does a number on your brain. I am sure I caught up on any CSI/Law and Order etc show after my surgury a couple years ago. and read the newest book in the MItford series when I could read again. I am glad to hear you are on this side of things and praying for you tonight you will keep seeing improvements.

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    1. Carol, thanks. I know you've been there, done that with the surgery thing. It takes its toll and it takes awhile til we feel upright again ...

      Now to give myself time and space and grace.

      Delete
  15. so homey and thoughtful and so special - needless to say, I am so very thankful that your surgery is now a thing of the past, and I know that tomorrow will bring some more added relief and you will feel more like yourself -

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    1. Added relief. Yes, please. One day at a time ...

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  16. I've been worried. (As is my way.) So grateful for this news. Faith is fickle for me sometimes. It's something I'm working on daily. You, my friend, touch my heart weekly. You're in my prayers. Be the you that you are and can be today. Trust me, it's enough. God bless.

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    1. Oh don't worry, friend! All is well. And that you find some kind of sustenance here each week is music to my ears on this rainy Saturday 'morn.

      Weekend joys to you, to yours ...

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  17. This too shall pass--have been on the other side of waiting for that path report too---that is almost worse than recovering from the surgery! Thankful you are on your way-take your time and enjoy the down time!
    Blessings, My Friend

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    1. Dear Lulu ~ In some ways I crave the down time, in other ways I'm chomping at the bit.

      The spirit is willing, but the body says 'no way.'

      He's whispering, 'be still.' I have no choice but to listen.

      Delete
  18. No cancer---those were the words I was watching for!!! Yay! Praising God for that.

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    1. Even as I'm relieved I'm praying for 3 cancer-fighters who haven't even reached mid-life yet. God have mercy on them and their overwhelmed, grieving families ...

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  19. So glad your getting stronger and the prodding and pricking is over. Heal up, pal

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    1. I'm being good. Promise!

      If I see one more needle I'm gonna run for dear life. For sure.

      Delete
  20. I'm so so grateful there is no cancer! And I'm so happy you're on the mend. I have to say your pictures from recovery look quite cozy - what a beautiful environment to heal!

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    1. Environment matters, doesn't it, Kylie ...

      Grateful for peace, quiet, and serenity.

      Delete
  21. So grateful that you have people in your life that will care for your precious self during these times. And always grateful for those that are called to care for us when we are in need of medical treatments. I get squeamish in hospitals so it is definitely not my calling. And thankful no cancer was found. Continue to mend in this season of Thanksgiving!

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    1. I hear ya' about the hospitals, Lynn. All those who've been gifted to care for us there deserve my applause and appreciation. The work is certainly not for the faint of heart, is it ...

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  22. Love seeing how your friends and family showered you with care. Beautiful. And praying you recover quickly!

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    1. How good of you to spend a few minutes here with us today, Melissa. The welcome mat is out!

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  23. You have such a way with words, Linda! I think we have a few things in common, my friend, including uncooperative veins and husbands that lovingly advocate for us when we are at the end of our medical ropes. I'm so glad to hear the cyst was benign and that you are on the road to recovery. :-)

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    1. Thanks for the good cheer tonight, Lois! It's been raining all week and things are a bit dull here ... appreciate your company on this Saturday evening.

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  24. So happy for the happy ending!! Been praying for you!

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  25. Gad you had a good report Linda. Praying God gives you back your strength and desire to keep moving. :)

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    1. Lifting you up in prayer as you preach the Word this morning, Bill ...

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  26. I'm so sorry that you started out as a "pin-cushion" and then had an even wearier recovery. I could relate so much to all you've shared, Linda. In fact, a bit more than I'd like since I have a case of shingles probably due to the stress I internalized regarding my son's departure to California. I prayer processed some but didn't ever give myself time or permission to let the grief drain till I was a heap of tears. When will I ever learn? Anyway, I have been praying for you and am SO VERY glad to hear that the lump was not cancer! Praise God too! I will continue to pray for your recovery and would love for you to pray for mine as well, dear friend.

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    1. Oh my dear friend, I am deeply sorry that you are suffering so. Please, oh please, give yourself permission, grace, and compassion to walk through this transition valley, grieving and releasing as you go.

      I promise you will return stronger, wiser, more at peace.

      I am praying, I am here for you.

      Delete
  27. Are those penguins on your pajamas? I just knew there was something extra special about you! I'm so sorry, dear one that you had to go through all that icky stuff. I've been out of town and didn't know you were in recovery. I'm so glad all is well. God is faithful! May He continue to heal and restore you, my friend.

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    1. ;-}

      Nope, just faded flowers! And it's time to dig some winter gear out ... it's finally feeling like autumn around here.

      Have thought of you often as you ventured up to this neck of the woods. I pray that you're feeling God's comfort and peace as you celebrate your Dad's life, June. The piece you wrote honoring him was beautiful, indeed ...

      Blessed are those who mourn.

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  28. You have given me great hope Linda since I will be having knee replacement after the first of the year. I am praying I will get some of my life back with a new knee. good to read you are improving...wholeness is just around the corner, well maybe a few corners. Blessings.

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    1. A few corners. Yeah, you've said it well. Please keep me posted on your healing journey. These aging bodies don't always treat us the way we'd like ...

      Praise God He never ever changes! I find great solace in that truth.

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  29. Thank God for great miracles in life! Hope everything goes well from here on.

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    1. How good to wake up to find you here, Lux. Thanks for taking us into this fresh new week!

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  30. Dear Linda,
    I have been praying and praying so I am happy to read there is no cancer and there is hope in your recovery. I pray God continues to heal you completely and for new joy as you recover and a removal of all pain. ((Hugs)) And thank God, for pain meds and competent and caring docs :-)

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    1. Praying for you in these countdown-to-publishing days, Dolly! May any butterflies disappear, may confidence and excitement be your bywords!

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  31. You're brave! I'm glad you're okay and hope your good recovery continues!

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    1. And you're kind! Thanks for dropping in this afternoon, Brenda! The welcome mat is out ...

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  32. Wow Linda! Prayers for continued rest and recovery!! ♥ And lots of reading time... ♥

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    1. Heather, thanks! Books and Downton Abbey DVDs have been my companions ...

      ;-}

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  33. I'm so sorry you went through this but am praising God with you that it isn't cancer. It is good to have you back and I pray for continued healing!

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    1. I'm grateful, too, Sarah! Keep those prayers heading up, ok?

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  34. What a time you've been through... and so thankful to hear the wonderful report that you received, praise God! Hope you are feeling much better soon, and will be praying for you!

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    1. Thanks, my 1-and-only Idaho friend!

      ;-}

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  35. So, I stopped in today to catch up with you and realized I've been gone longer than usual as I did not realize you were having some health issues. So glad you received a good pathology report and are healing. I also read your punky posts and have to say I love that word. It somehow makes the punky seem a little less dire. Hope all is well with you and yours, my friend.

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    1. Well, it's just so good to have you back again! I like what you said about 'punky' seeming 'a little less dire.' Sometimes that's the best way to walk into a bit of a daunting situation.

      Not that I'm in denial or anything like that ...

      ;-}

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'I want the people in my life to know that when they come to me, with whatever is on their mind or heart, they will be heard. I am dedicated to hearing the hearts of those around me.'
~ Adam McHugh, The Listening Life

Linda