Wednesday, April 6, 2016

Scads of Marriage Resources ~ and the $40 Giveaway!

As we draw to the end of this little Marriage Mini-Series, I'm happy to present a sampling of what I believe are top-shelf resources gathered from my office library, years of online excursions, and continuing education seminars.  I hope you'll find the ideal books and websites to meet your needs.  Simply click on the red links to discover more.

Please be sure to share these goodies with your Facebook and Twitter friends and bookmark these findings for your own future use.  And if you'd be so kind as to share your favorite marriage resources in the comments, well, we'll all be richer for it.

And remember, each comment you leave during this series puts you in the running for that $40 Amazon gift card ... {the grand giveaway finale will be the next post up!}



BOOKS

Avoiding the Greener Grass Syndrome: How to Grow Affair-Proof Hedges Around Your Marriage - Anderson
'From a woman who strayed to the other side of the marital fence - and returned to find forgiveness and restoration - comes this practical book about predicting and preventing an extramarital affair.'

Broken and Battered: A Way Out for the Abused Woman - Canfield
'The life of an abused woman is one of fear, pain, and isolation.  Not only is she vicitimized by the man she loves, she is often disbelieved and abandoned by friends and family.  Broken emotionally and battered physically, she is left feeling as if there is no way out.  But there is a way out, and this powerfully courageous book leads the way.'

Torn Assunder: Recovering From an Extramarital Affair - Carder
'A resource on marital infidelity for all involved, even onlookers ... it sorts through the factors that contribute to infidelity and then maps out a recovery process for both process.  With compassion and wisdom rooted in the Bible, Carder offers insight for the victims, the perpetrators, and those who seek to help.'

The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts - Chapman
'Whether your relationship is flourishing or failing, Dr. Gary Chapman's proven approach to showing and receiving love will help you experience deeper and richer level of intimacy with your partner.'

Boundaries in Marriage - Cloud & Townsend
'Learn when to say yes and when to say no -- to your spouse and to others -- to make the most of your marriage.  Only when a husband and wife know and respect each other's needs, choices, and freedom can they give themselves freely and lovingly to one another.'

Love and Respect: The Love She Most Desires, The Respect He Desperately Needs - Eggerichs
'Psychological studies affirm it, and the Bible has been saying it for ages. Cracking the communication code between husband and wife involves understanding one thing: that unconditional respect is as powerful for him as unconditional love is for her.  It's the secret to marriage that every couple seeks, and yet few couples ever find.'

The Sexually Confident Wife: Connecting with Your Husband Mind, Body, Heart, Spirit - Ethridge
'Every woman deserves to enjoy great sex with her husband, without inhibition or shame.  But many wives live with the burden of self-doubt of feel mystified about what men really want in bed.  Others wrestle with memories of sexual abuse or neglect, guilt over past intimate relationships, or negative feelings about their own bodies.  Maybe you've been thinking you were alone in your struggle to discover sexual fulfillment.  Think again.'

Fit to Be Tied: Making Marriage Last a Lifetime - Hybels
'Knowing from personal experience that marriage can have its up and downs, Bill and Lynne Hybels avoid quick and easy answers.  They write honestly about marriage from each of their own perspectives and give - ways to court spouses creatively - checklists for singles - frank illustrations - information about family background and temperaments - help for unhealthy behaviors and conflict.'

Hedges: Loving Your Marriage Enough to Protect It - Jenkins
'With the divorce rate steadily climbing and infidelity creeping into even the happiest marriages, in a society that trivializes adultery and its devastating effects, with temptation and opportunity coming at you from all directions - how can you keep your marriage from becoming a statistic?'

The Love Dare - Kendrick
'The New York Times No. 1 best seller was a major plot device in the popular movie Fireproof ... is a 40-day challenge for husbands and wives to understand and practice unconditional love.  Whether your marriage is hanging by a thread or healthy and strong, The Love Dare is a journey you need to take.'

Shattered Vows: Hope and Healing for Women Who Have Been Sexually Betrayed - Laaser
'Infidelity doesn't have to ruin your life - or your marriage if you have been devastated by your husband's sexual betrayal - whether an isolated incident or a long-term pattern of addiction - you need to know you don't have to live as a victim.  If you choose to stay in your marriage, you have options other than punishing, tolerating, or ignoring your spouse.'

Sheet Music: Uncovering the Secrets of Sexual Intimacy in Marriage - Leman
'With his characteristic warmth and humor, Dr. Kevin Leman offers a practical guide to sex according to God's plan.  This frank and practical book is a perfect resource for married and engaged couples.  Dr. Leman addresses a wide spectrum of people, from those with no sexual experiences to those with past sexual problems or even abuse.'

The Walk-Out Woman: When Your Heart is Empty and Your Dreams Are Lost - Stephens & Gray
'Every woman longs to be appreciated, respected, and adored, but when her needs aren't met within her marriage, she could be tempted to walk away.  As little hurts and disappointments accumulate and her heart hardens, a woman's loneliness and vulnerability take over, and she might find emotional fulfillment elsewhere, perhaps in even a casual encounter with another man.  When the marriage enters this realm of real danger, the woman believes it will be less painful to walk away than try to work on it.'

Surviving a Spiritual Mismatch in Marriage - Strobel
'Someone came between Lee and Leslie Strobel, threatening to shipwreck their marriage.  No, it wasn't an old flame.  It was Jesus Christ.  Leslie's decision to become a follower of Jesus brought heated opposition from her skeptical husband.'

Capture Her Heart: Becoming the Godly Husband Your Wife Desires & Capture His Heart: Becoming the Godly Wife Your Husband Desires {2 volumes} - TerKheurst
'A truly fulfilling marriage involves two people focusing on each others' needs rather than their own ... TerKeurst has written a practical guide for each spouse that will open their eyes to the needs, desires, and longings of the other.  She offers 8 essential criteria for capturing the heart of your spouse, with creative tips on how to accomplish them.'

Sacred Marriage: What If God Designed Marriage to Make Us Holy More Than to Make Us Happy? - Thomas
'Happy is good. Holy is better.  Your marriage is more than a sacred covenant with another person.  It is a spiritual discipline designed to help you know God better, trust Him more fully, and love Him more deeply.'

The Emotionally Destructive Marriage: How to Find Your Voice and Reclaim Your Hope - Vernick
'You can't put it into words, but something is happening to you.  Your stomach churns, your heart aches, and the tension in your marriage is making you feel weary and a little crazy.  The constant criticism, disrespect, cruelty, deceit, and gross indifference are eroding your confidence and breaking your spirit.  For any woman caught in an emotionally destructive marriage, Leslie Vernick offers a personalized path forward.'



ONLINE

Andrew Budek-Schmeisser
Andrew is currently writing Your Dying Spouse, a series for caregivers, those with life-threatening illness, and all who care about them.  Real, raw, and honest legacy from one who's going through the valley.

Henry Cloud & John Townsend
Cloud & Townsend are just about the best Christian psychologists out there.  Their superb marriage channel overflows with topical and Q & A videos, offering you counsel that is second to none.

Shannon Ethridge
Shannon writes on healthy sexuality & spirituality.  Intensely personal, practical, and intimate guidance for women, she goes where most Christian writers dare to tread.

Les & Leslie Parrot
The Parrots, both counseling professionals who just happen to be married, offer solid practical counsel served with a light touch.  Be sure to check out their video library, too, for all kinds of marriage related topics.  And their SYMBIS marriage assessment has become the gold standard for counseling couples.  Go here for that.  Good stuff for sure.

Beth Stefaniak
Beth is a coach extraordinaire when it comes to messy marriages.  Her blog posts are substantial and informative, yet truly personal.  You'll walk away with practical tools in your marriage toolbelt ... wiser and more hopeful, too.  I'm delighted to call her my friend.

Leslie Vernick
Leslie is an outstanding counselor, coach, and communicator.  Hers is a voice in the wilderness when it comes to an informed Christian response to abuse and unhealthy relationships.  Her site offers exceptional blog posts and a variety of free resources.



AND FROM YOURS TRULY

>  If you liked What's It Like Being Married to You?, here's the post that started it all ... A Difficult Question.

>  Finding a Christian Counselor guides you in finding a fits-you-to-a-T people helper.

>  A Marriage Potpourri offers 15 more dollops of common sense counsel.


36 comments:

  1. What a great list of resources, Linda! I read 3 of these in preparation for "taking the plunge" in 2009 and found them incredibly helpful: Love and Respect, Sacred Marriage, and Fit to be Tied. I am going to add several of these to my list of "books to read."

    I'd like to add "For Women Only" by Shaunti Feldhahn. I found it a very "eye opening" book that helped me re-adjust my thinking quite a bit.

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    1. Thanks for the new-to-me resource, Lyli! I'm hoping we'll all gather heaps of new helps to keep us growing strong in our relationships!

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  2. Good list! Glad to know I have many of them. Other than a book junkie I'm not quite sure what that makes me. :)

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    1. A very well prepared pastor, I'm guessing!

      ;-}

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  3. Thanks for the list of resources - very helpful to have. It has been a good series - just the right amount of posts. Not too few - you were able to share more than if you tried to do it in one post. Not too many - you don't want to lose people who aren't interested in marriage. It also showed both the good and also the trying parts of a marriage, so it was balanced and everyone could relate. Thanks!

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    1. I appreciate your comments, Marilyn. I didn't want it to go on and on and on so that people would yawn when they saw yet ANOTHER title in their readers.

      Glad you're here. I know you're busy, so it means alot that you'd take the time to connect.

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  4. Hey, Linda, great to see you there in your "power chair!" I have one more book to add that I read last year: 7 Secrets to a Awesome Marriage by Kim Kimberling. It's a very quick read, unintimidating, and very accessible for younger or less literary inclined readers who want their truth on the bottom shelf with short chapters and light reading.
    Blessings! I've enjoyed this series!

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    1. Unintimidating is always a +!

      Short and light doesn't hurt either!

      ;-}

      Thanks for jumping in with your suggestion, Michele. I know you're a voracious reader!

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  5. Linda, I so appreciate the callout!

    Kinda need prayer. Bleeding.

    http://blessed-are-the-pure-of-heart.blogspot.com/2016/04/two-shots-story-of-viet-nam-blogbattle.html

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    1. Dear Andrew ~ I prayed for you when I posted your link, your comment, and now as I respond. Please know that those prayers will continue.

      Dear Readers ... would you please join hearts and lift Andrew and Barbara up to the One who offers comfort and peace? I know that many of you know and care about them ...

      This is the faith community in action.

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  6. Hi Linda! "Happy is good. Holy is better." Wow. That's a really great statement, and certainly reflects a lot of spiritual maturity. I wonder which we'd really choose when getting right down to it...happy or holy? Holy is harder, that's for sure!

    Your list of books is extensive my friend. What wisdom you got from them all, thank you for sharing here. I know they'll bless many of your readers. (Love your photo here too!)
    Ceil

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    1. Ain't that the truth, Ceil. Holy is so much harder and impossible to pull off on our own. No wonder we need Him every hour like the old hymn said ...

      I love sharing books with friends. In person and online. Wherever. Friends sharing friends, right?

      ;-}

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  7. I just wanted to take a moment to make you aware of how impactful your blogs are : )

    {via email}

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Your email came at the perfect time this afternoon. What an encouragement you are! Thank you for connecting ...

      Miss ya' ...

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  8. Thank you for the wonderful list of resources available. You've done a grand job with this series on marriage and if it has helped just one couple then it has all been worthwhile. Bravo and well done.

    I have responded to your comment on my Blog and added a link for FREE books to download.

    God bless.

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    1. Thanks, Victor!

      Weekend blessings to you across 'the pond' ...

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  9. What a fabulous series, Linda. And this list of resources is amazing - thank you for sharing your wealth of, hard-earned, knowledge with us, my friend!

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    1. It's been fun. And isn't it true how much you learn for yourself when you write, huh?

      P.S. I just saw a male and female cardinal fly to a bare-branched tree, pause, give each other a peck on the beak {REALLY!} and take off again.

      I thought you would have just loved it ...

      ;-}

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    2. There are some who dispute it, but I've read they mate for life - I tend to believe it :)

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    3. They looked like they were very comfy with each other ... kind of like an old married couple, ya'know?

      ;-}

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  10. Wow! What a treasure trove of resources, Linda! It must have taken a lot of time to get this list together. I loved your marriage series. You have so much wise insight into its workings. :) Blessings and hugs to you!

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    1. I'm glad this series worked for you, Trudy. Thanks for stopping in with your kindness ...

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  11. Just popping in to say you have touched many with this series. Kudos, my friend. Just wanted to add a book I read when I was married called Beloved Unbeliever by Jo Berry. It was written in the 80s and there was not much out there then to help the spouse with an unbelieving husband. I think there is much more now but it is in the past for me so not sure what is good, current reading on the subject. Rough way to live....spiritual warfare is a common occurrences but God does His finest work in warfare, huh?

    Unequally yoked ladies -- don't loose faith even if your spouse never finds it!!!!!

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    1. Well, thanks, Buds! I completely forgot about BELOVED UNBELIEVER ... but now I remember it was a good one. You're right, there were few resources for families / relationships in any way, shape, or form back in the day.

      Thanks for sharing this oldie but goodie!

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  12. Wow, Linda! What a great list of resources! You've listed some of my favorite marriage books and blogs too, though I'm so honored to be listed as one of yours, girlfriend! I am loving your marriage series here and am excited to check out Cloud and Townsend's site. Though they are two of my favorite authors, I've not looked for their website, nor known about their marriage channel. That sounds like a goldmine of info! As usual, you bless us in so many ways!

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    1. You'll love Cloud & Townsend's site. It's like sitting there having a conversation with them. Such a wealth of wisdom and common sense. Kinda like comin' to your site, ya' know?

      Appreciate you so ...

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  13. The Five Love Languages and Love & Respect are on my most highly recommended list for all newly weds. Love & Respect especially changed how I viewed situations in our marriage.

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    1. Absolutely terrific books, aren't they, Pary? I have seen Eggerich's LOVE & RESPECT turn more than one marriage completely around 100%. He has a great website, too ...
      http://loveandrespect.com/blog/

      Thanks for finishing up the weekend here with us!

      ;-]

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  14. These are great! Your book shelf looks much like mine. (It also says we are close to the same era :)!) A couple of other treasures I have used a great deal are: How to Change Your Spouse Without Ruining Your Marriage by Norm Wright & Gary Oliver; Intimate Allies by Dan Allender & Tremper Longman; The Second Half of Marriage by David & Claudia Arp; Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas; and A Celebration of Sex After Fifty by Doug Rosenau & James K. Childerston.

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    1. Pam ~ It'd be fun to browse each other's libraries ...

      ;-}

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  15. A great list of resources! I give Sheet Music as my gift when I go to church bridal showers ;). I also love His Needs/Her Needs--best to be read after reading Love and Respect (the sequel to Love and Respect, I think it's called Cracking the Code, is also a great book.

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    1. Don't you think a well-chosen book makes the most excellent shower gift, Anita?

      ;-}

      Thanks for adding to the growing list of resources everyone's been sharing. Such good stuff!

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  16. Such a great comprehensive list. Thank you for highlighting some real people I know like Beth and Andrew and sharing others who would be great resources. Of course you are also a great resource and I love knowing you friend!

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    1. One of the best things about this online world we inhabit are the relationships that develop over time, the people that impact our lives, the ones we feel a kindred spirit bond with.

      You, my dear, are one of those people ...

      Blessed to know you, I am.

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'I want the people in my life to know that when they come to me, with whatever is on their mind or heart, they will be heard. I am dedicated to hearing the hearts of those around me.'
~ Adam McHugh, The Listening Life

Linda