Hey Sisters and Brothers ~
The conversation on the many facets of forgiveness continues.
If you need a quick review, Here's Why You Should Forgive (and 3 surprising reasons why you shouldn't forget).
And our dialogue goes on because you're telling me that the hardest person to forgive is the one in the mirror. For sinful choices or stupid decisions or outright betrayal. It could have been yesterday afternoon ... or decades back. So if the topic seems overwhelming or like an unattainable goal, please let me say that you're not the only one wrestling with what this looks like.
You're in good company.
Let's talk.
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Who would have guessed that forgiving ourselves would be such a seemingly impossible decision?
Blame it on the enemy of our souls.
If you've done the Christian life for any length of time, it's no big surprise to you that the master deceiver prowls around like the ferocious evil beast he is.
He whispers or shouts, hissing in the most evil tones. His insidious lies weigh us down, immobilize us, and keep us stuck in a pit that seems to suck us deeper and deeper into self-condemnation and loathing. Looking to push our buttons, trip us up, eat us alive, his goal is to render us useless for the victorious kingdom life we've been called to live.
After awhile of this decidedly deceptive brainwashing, we're all too prone to believe him.
We get lost in the ugly mire of woulda / coulda / shoulda's, defining ourselves by everything negative we've ever said or done instead of defining ourselves by our Savior. We become great big losers in our own eyes, hopelessly fixated on our past screw-ups, weighed down by our accumulation of cumbersome baggage ... instead of focusing on the One who paid the priceless penalty for all our sin.
Believe it or not, there's some twisted payoff in staying stuck in this graceless mire. At least it's familiar territory. It might be a lousy place to live but somehow, in a weird way, it slowly but surely has begun to feel like home. An incredibly dysfunctional one that ends up holding us hostage.
'Cause who am I if I'm not defined by all my sins and shame? What would my life look like if I drew a line in the sand and said 'enough is enough, I'm done with this.'
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If we look in the mirror and see a perpetual loser or a masked failure, we have not accepted the forgiveness God has offered us. The more in love we are with Him, the quicker we'll be able to discern when the Spirit is clearly putting His powerful finger on specific sins in our lives. And those are the times we need to own our stuff.
Experience the remorse, confessing every detail of the choices we've made to the One who longs to see us unshackled.
Ask for and receive the desperately yearned for forgiveness.
Claim our identity in Christ. Believe who He says we are. Redeemed. Precious. Beloved. Priceless. Forgiven.
Forgive ourselves.
And then move forward in freedom to all He has for us to be, to do.
How much time and energy have we wasted wringing our hands and beating ourselves up? What opportunities have we missed because we were looking backward instead of upward?
If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
1 John 1:9
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!
2 Corinthians 5:17
Jesus said, If you hold to my teaching, you really are my disciples. Then you will know the truth and the truth will set you free. So if the Son sets you free, you are free indeed.
John 8:31, 32 & 36
It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.
Galatians 5:1
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
Philippians 4:13
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Linda
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P.S.#3
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Just what I needed to hear today, Linda! In moments of stress, I start picking on myself (the deceiver sure knows when to whisper his worthless words, doesn't he?). Thank you for reminding me to be on guard for the bully.
ReplyDeleteAnita, that's a good caution, to be aware of his tactics when we're stressed out. Exhausted. In a tough season. Thanks for kicking off this dialogue.
DeleteI'm praying for you, friend.
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Oh how I loved reading this tonight. Our own worst judge is ourselves and the enemy of accusations, belittlement and just down right evil. I appreciate so much the scripture you have shared. As Anita put it...moments of stress sure seem to do a number on us and that is another reason we must call upon the Name of Jesus. Thank you Linda. Hugs and blessings, Cindy
ReplyDeleteAmen, girl. There is power in the Name of Jesus to break every chain, break every chain, break every chain!
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Every single day, I need His forgiveness and grace. His Holy Water will cleanse me of all the residual guilt I carry with me, and I trust fully in that. Without His forgiveness, I cannot realize the fullness He wants my life to reflect.
ReplyDeleteBlessings, Linda!
Oh yes to this for sure, Martha - 'Without His forgiveness, I cannot realize the fullness He wants my life to reflect.'
DeleteThis is who we're longing to be. You captured it so beautifully with one sentence.
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I won't be forgiving me;
ReplyDeleteit's weakness that I won't afford
myself, and it's because, you see,
I'm way tougher than the Lord.
I will wear hair-shirt repentance,
and thus I am allowed to force
other folk to share my sentence,
for they deserve the best, of course,
and not some easy yoke and burden
(just what was He thinking of?);
of my rectitude I'm certain,
and praise will sure come from above
when God sees my method's true
punishment for me and you.
Forgiving ourselves comes from that strength and courage that can only come from God Himself.
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Absolutely, Linda. What we can't bear in ourselves has already been borne.
DeleteProfound. Truth.
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As a pastor, I see this seemingly every day. If not every day, then surely every week. Whether it is in my ministry to the church or as I meet people at the Y or elsewhere, shame seems to be a real issue for many. The failure of being able to forgive oneself is palpable. You state good truth here Linda. Thanks for the insight.
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely, Bill. The enemy loves to dole out shame which is worlds away from the conviction that comes from the Holy Spirit. Shame leads us nowhere except into a downward spiral into the pit. Conviction and repentance lead to freedom and spiritual growth.
DeleteAnd you're so right, failure to take care forgiveness issues is palpable indeed. 'The body keeps the score.' And that's sad because it doesn't have to be that way.
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This is such insightful advice, Linda. Satan knows all our vulnerabilities and the closer we get to Jesus, the more he will take advantage of them. Sometimes I have to ask myself - Would God say that to me? No! God often brings Romans 8:1 to my remembrance. There is NO condemnation in Christ Jesus! May He give us grace to continually rest in our true identity in Him! Love and blessings to you! Thank you for your encouragement to forgive others and ourselves.
ReplyDeleteThat's a powerful question to immediately ask ourselves when we start to put ourselves down, beat ourselves up, play the martyr or the victim. 'Would God say that to me?'
DeleteAmen to Romans 8, friend. 'Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free.'
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Linda, a timely post for me. Thank you, sweet friend!
ReplyDeleteYou're welcome.
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Powerfully true!
ReplyDeleteIt can be a hard road to travel. But the destination is worth every step.
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Yes! Satan gets us focused on me, me, me. And when we don't forgive ourselves, who are we focused on? Me, me, me instead of our identity in Christ!
ReplyDeleteWow, Lynn ... such a powerful thought. Lack of forgiveness keeps us totally absorbed in ourselves. And that's a sad and unattractive place to be.
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Good series to read and ponder. Thanks for tackling a difficult subject with depth and tenderness
ReplyDeleteTender. Yes, that's where we want to be coming from when we talk about the hard stuff. I'm still on that journey ...
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Such great reminders about forgiveness and who we are when we accept God's forgiveness!
ReplyDeleteKristen, welcome! I'm glad you're here today.
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Hey Linda, thanks for giving me a good talking to today, I needed it This is so me. Though I'm not stuck in that place anymore because of surrendering it to God and have taken the steps you mentioned. Once in a while the enemy tries to poke his ugly green head in my head and I promptly kick him out.
ReplyDeleteThis needed to be spoken about and I'm happy you did.
Thank you bunches for sharing this with Sweet Tea & Friends this month my friend.
I love what you said about promptly kicking the enemy out, Paula. More of us need to learn how to do this ASAP instead of inviting him in and allowing him to take up valuable real estate in our heads and hearts.
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Another amazing post, dear Linda. Your wisdom is such a gift to all of us. May the Lord richly bless you.
ReplyDeleteAnything wise being said around here? Only because of Jesus. Christ alone!
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