Tuesday, June 27, 2017

The Pathway of a Brokenhearted Friend


A relational breakdown starts slowly, almost imperceptibly.  Something isn't right but you can't quite put your finger on what's out of kilter.

A dark cloud drifts over the friendship and refuses to leave.  A subtle shift emerges, its unspoken message rather clear.  Idle words cut deep.  Eye contact becomes non-existent.  Texts go unanswered.  Plans get cancelled with the wave of a hand and vague, hurtful excuses.

Something disquieting is floating in the wind and right before your very eyes, what has been so safe, strong, and comforting is morphing into a relationship you can't even recognize ...

{I'm delighted to be finishing up this post at Debby Hudson's place 
as a guest writer for her June Friendship Series.  
Click here, take my hand, and let's head there together.}



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20 comments:

  1. Thank you for this treat this morning. I left a comment at Debby's! :)

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    1. You're a treat! Thanks for kicking off this beautiful Tuesday morning with me, Mary ...

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  2. Very well done and stated, my friend! You paint the picture well at the outset and list of books is superb!! I love Necessary Endings and Leslie Vernick's work as well. Your pastoral heart is so evident in your words. Thank you! Blessings on your day!

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    1. You know the 'pastoral heart' well, friend. How you've impacted countless souls by your faithful ministry.

      Thanks for spying it in these words today. May Jesus be praised for every opportunity we've had to minister His love and grace.

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  3. Death of a friendship is such a loss for many of the reasons you added. Reminds me how we have to learn to let go and move on too - with God's strength. I have learned to allow myself to grieve, then heal. Thanks for these powerful words

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    1. Grieving is a huge piece of our healing, isn't it, Jean. And if we miss out on that link, it's hard to move ahead with grace and peace.

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    1. Thanks, Betsy, for keeping the conversation going!

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  5. Hi Linda! You have a beautiful way with words. Wasn't sure how to leave a comment at Debby's. Bless you!

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    1. Thanks for sharing encouragement with me, this morning, Lora.

      ;-}

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  6. Well said, My Friend. I have read Cloud's Necessary Endings also. There are times we must walk away, but it is never easy!
    Thank you for this post!
    Blessings, My Friend!

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    1. You're absolutely right. These kind of decisions are far from easy, often excruciating, and life altering.

      Necessary Endings has been a helpful tool for some women I've spoken with ...

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  7. As I sit on my patio pondering friendships that break, I remember a few of my former broken friendships. God has graciously given me the understanding that some (and most friendships) are for a season. Some are not real deep. And some are just acquaintances to spend time with.

    I also have learned who are safe people to invest in a relationship with. In the past I chose friends who could not be there for me so the relating would disintegrate. There was a void but knowing their inability to maintain a friendship kept me from being devastated.

    I have been blessed with 5 forever friends (3 presently in my life but living at a distance đŸ˜¢and 2 waiting for me in the heavenly realm) and boy do I miss spending face to face time with each. Love texting, FaceTime and email for making the best of these life situations.

    Love ya, my far away friend!!!!

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    1. Dear Carol ... you've packed a whole lot of wisdom in just a few paragraphs. I count myself hugely blessed to have you as one of my forever friends. Your godly discernment and sensitive support have been lifesavers for me many times over the years.

      I am so very grateful you continue to remain in my life.

      Love to you always ...

      http://www.lindastoll.net/2016/08/finally-in-which-she-spoke-dreaded-s.html

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  8. Beautiful post, friend. I left you a comment there, but wanted to say hi here too, and wish you a wonderful holiday weekend. ((xoxo))

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    1. Thanks for being here AND there, Brenda! That's so kind ...

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  9. Thanks for sharing the good ideas that will help me to have something good in this weekend and become able to share the best things with my friends and family.

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    1. May this weekend turn out to be one of your best ever, Emma!

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  10. What a well written awesome post Linda... it is so hurtful to lose a friendship, but sometimes, all that one can do is move on, taking with us the good things that we loved and shared, and letting go of the hurt. Appreciate your writing, and the way you share a deep message :)

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    1. Yes, yes. There are always some very good things to carry with us as we move ahead.

      Thank God for hidden blessings. Even if we sometimes spy them a bit too late ...

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'I want the people in my life to know that when they come to me, with whatever is on their mind or heart, they will be heard. I am dedicated to hearing the hearts of those around me.'
~ Adam McHugh, The Listening Life

Linda