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Hey all, I'm so glad you're back!
Raise your hand 🙋 if your week's been a tad unhinged or had one too many unwelcome surprises. It's always a comfort to know that you're not alone, isn't it! I think you just might find yourself in good company as you make your way through this 4 Somethings edition ... and in the conversation that follows.
SOMETHINGS LOVED
SOMETHING GLEANED
'In solitude we can listen to the voice of Him who spoke to us before we could speak a word, who healed us before we could make any gesture to help, who set us free long before we could free others, and who loved us long before we could give love to anyone.
It is in this solitude that we discover that being is more important than having, and that we are worth more than the result of our efforts. In solitude we discover that our life is not a possession to be defended, but a gift to be shared.
It's there we recognize that the healing words we speak are not just our own, but are given to us; that the love we express is part of a greater love; and that the new life we bring forth is not a property to cling to, but a gift to be received.'
- Henri Nouwen
SOMETHING BRAVED
SOMETHING ACHIEVED
AFTER
BEFORE
After making lame excuses for far too long, I've been working on cutting back on my phone's overbearing influence. Tethered to me like a lifeline, my ever-present companion had morphed into a rectangular tyrant. A time waster, a relationship interrupter, a brain overloader, an energy drainer.
The clincher? My devotional life wasn't the priority it had once been and I could no longer ignore the Spirit repeatedly whispering, 'enough already ... let's tighten this up.'
'Keep your mind clear, and be alert. Your opponent the devil is prowling around like a roaring lion as he looks for someone to devour. God, who shows you his kindness and who has called you through Christ Jesus to his eternal glory, will restore you, strengthen you, make you strong, and support you ...'
1 Peter 5:8,10 {GWT}.
📵 The games have been deleted. Talk about addicted. Getting all jazzed up. Conversations I missed. Books I never got to settle in with. Vistas I all but ignored. Wasted hours I can never get back.
📵 The volume is low. A silent blinky notification lets me know about new emails {publishing your comments} and texts {connecting with family}. No jarring obnoxious beeps and chimes unless I'm waiting for something important.
📵 The phone gets turned off after supper. It's like putting a toddler to bed because they're done for the day and everyone needs a break. If someone wants to be in touch, they call my husband. He always knows where I am.
📵 I'm easing into a 24 hour sabbath each weekend. Yes, I still go on to check texts and emails a few times. I might take some snapshots. But that's about it.
📵 A peaceful image = a calming homescreen. The visual clutter is gone. I deleted unused apps and everything else is one swipe away on the next screen page. Thank you, Courtney Carver.
This is all still a work in process, but do-able and necessary for my serenity. I'm feeling motivated, unencumbered, and far more productive. Bonus points for sleeping better, too.
Our phones are a very personal thing and I'm not about to get all phone-bossy on you. I'm just saying that this is what's working for me. Not everyone has the freedom to silence their phones. My hat's off to all who live life on call ... ministers, the self-employed, medical and emergency services personnel.
And parents of young adults. Children of elderly parents. I hear ya'.
And parents of young adults. Children of elderly parents. I hear ya'.
From My Heart to Yours ~
Linda
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sharing Porch with
Heather & Jeanne/Lisa J
Heather & Jeanne/Lisa J
Very intrigued by the sight of a Jan Karin book I was unaware of!
ReplyDeleteDo you read Sharon Garlough Brown? She has a new book landing in April.
Grandkids are coming today to do a craft and make sticky jam for their mum--she loves blueberry!
Oh what a perfect day for the kids to come over and get creative and messy and all those good things. I'm so happy they live close enough to do life with their amazing Gram!
DeleteHenri Nouwen... 💙
ReplyDeleteI am all for taking a break, a Sabbath if you will.
Yes, yes, Sandi.
Delete"In solitude we discover that our life is not a possession to be defended, but a gift to be shared." More wisdom from Henri Nouwen that I'll be copying into my quote journal, Linda. Thank you for sharing! As for 1 Peter 5:8, I heard a speaker say one time, "The devil may be prowling around like a lion, but his teeth were removed at Calvary!"
ReplyDeleteAmen! Preach that last line, girl!
DeleteLove it.
I just had this conversation about phones yesterday with my sweet counselor friend. We decided our phones are a tool to help us, not for you to able to get in touch with us 24/7. Enough already. My solution has been, I do not answer if I am busy or occupied. Please leave a message. Do not take it personally, it applies to everyone.
ReplyDeleteLOVE your photos!
I like that notion that the phone is a tool to help us, Lulu. I remember the years of being in ministry 24/7, running a private practice, and being right on top of every call and and voice mail. That's not where I am now.
DeleteWe only have so much energy to go around and the older I get, the more I want to use it well.
You know I always appreciate your straight talk, girl. So glad you're here today.
In order not to disturb you I have sent this comment to your computer instead of your cell-phone. If you check your cell-phone (not now) you will see my comment is not there. It is in the comments box on your Blog when you check your computer next time. I would advise all your readers to do the same to avoid disturbing you.
ReplyDeleteI also thought of sending you my comments by post from now on. But the postage from UK to USA is expensive.
God bless.
For sure, the postage might be expensive but there are days that I'm sure notes would get there faster by snail mail than the internet.
Delete;-}
Nouwen, a perennial favorite. I disabled notifications on my phone a few years back and have never regretted it. Now if I can find a way to get rid of spam texts! (sigh)
ReplyDeleteMy email box is filling with more spam each day, no matter how many I block. They haven't hit my texts yet.
DeleteWhat a pain.
Three totally different thoughts:
ReplyDelete1. Love the picture of the adorable little boy!
2. I understand your phone being turned off but it makes it difficult for those of us who work during the day and our best times to talk are evenings. Personally I don't want to call Tim's phone to find you if I just want to chat and it's not important - only if it's an emergency.
3. Great reminder from Henri Nouwen, "It's there we recognize that the healing words we speak are not just our own, but are given to us" Great reminder when we are in an uncomfortable position and don't know what to say, God gives us the words! He never fails to come through and whisper the words to us that the other person needs. I just have to be attuned with Him to hear them!
1. Yes, this is the most fun school pic I've ever laid eyes on with his 3 piece suit and little handkerchief. He looks like he owns the place. And he's a cross between his father and his great-grandfather for sure. He also looks like his grandmother.
Delete2. Just think of Tim's phone as our house phone. That works for us. Really.
3. And yes to being attuned with Him. And that's one of the reasons why I have no choice but to cut back on my phone obsession.
;-}
xo
I will take no Sabbath break
ReplyDeletein the days ahead.
Maybe it's a big mistake,
but I'll rest when I'm dead.
I will work right through the night
on guns and poetry,
and in the pale cold morning light
see what I came to see,
a life that's used up every bit
of what once was mine,
a life that had no time to sit
in service of Divine,
but spent more than I could afford
to glorify and serve the Lord.
mmm ... guns and poetry in the same line.
DeleteI'm not sure I've ever seen that before!
Tuning back on all the unnecessary distractions and slowing down to truly take in the sights, sounds, impressions all around me - that is what this recent illness has prompted me to do like no other time in my life. I'm taking more time with scripture, I'm writing a journal, understanding that in God's economy, no time is wasted when we focus on being instead of doing.
ReplyDeleteBest of luck with the scaling back, Linda! I know you can do it!
I am so grateful that you're back, Martha, that you're recovering. What an answer to so many prayers.
DeleteAnd this is pure gold -->' no time is wasted when we focus on being instead of doing.'
No truer words were spoken.
You're right, too often it's not 'til we've been through a crisis that we realize what matters most. You've shared rich wisdom with us today.
Rest well, dear friend.
xo
Love your Four somethings. I just began this practice myself - will be on next week's blog. Such a wonderful reflection tool.
ReplyDeleteOh good, I look forward to what you come up with, Jean. I know it'll be deep spiritual food for thought.
DeleteAwwww, yes, put the phone to bed early, it sounds like sound advice, Linda, "The phone gets turned off after supper. It's like putting a toddler to bed because they're done for the day, and everyone needs a break."
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely!
Delete;-}
What wonderful photos! I really don't deal with my phone a lot. I don't take it with me when I go places unless I need to (car at night, doc visits where I might need to wait in the lot till they call me) and I don't text much. When I dropped my landline I decided to treat my phone like it was one 80 percent of the time or more. It's a good system.
ReplyDeleteI like the concept of cell phone replacing land lines, Jeanie. Not everyone can make that decision, but if you can, you'll save $ and sanity. How many bells do we need ringing?
DeleteI'd love to bite into one of those strawberries right now! :) Your photos always bring smiles, Linda. I also always enjoy seeing your book stacks too to remember some of my favorites and to get ideas for what I could read next.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on your achievements with your phone. I've been working on paring down things there too and it's been so good.
I think I'm really going to enjoy these new categories from Heather!
Yes, these new categories are challenging, Lisa. I guess I don't think of myself in terms of 'bravery' or 'achievement.' This just might be more of a stretch than last year. And that could be a very good thing.
Deletehttps://heathergerwing.com/
I have all notifications turned off on my phone except texts and phone calls. I check email regularly enough that I don't need to be notified whenever a new one comes in. I can't stand constant dinging.
ReplyDeleteI play some games on my phone in the evening while we're watching TV.
I appreciate what you said about each person adapting phone use to their own needs.
I had not seen that book by Jan Karon either. I will have to look it up.
On a side note, you commented on my review about The Other Bennet Sister about it being a classic--it's actually a 2021 book, but from a character in Pride and Prejudice and in that style. It was very good. I like both new and old books. :-)
I do believe I completely missed that 2nd paragraph probably because that beautiful cover caught my eye and captured my attention!
DeleteAnd this? 'I can't stand constant dinging.'
I couldn't agree more.
:-}
Another timely post! I've been making some gains with my phone too, but still not as much as I'd like. Your idea of putting the phone to bed is one I'll try. The idea appeals to me. Maybe it's the mother in me?! 😂 Love your simple screen too! January decluttering!
ReplyDeleteJanuary decluttering.
DeleteLove that.
A perfect activity for this gray Saturday.
;-}
Great photos as always, and I like the Henri Nouwen quote. I appreciated your thoughts on using your phone too. It has definitely given me some things to think about!
ReplyDeleteI'd love to hear your thought process on this, Lesley ...
DeleteI loved Aundi's book. Have you found the Try Softer journal helpful?
ReplyDeleteI haven't made my way through the journal yet, but I'm liking what I see as I page through.
DeleteWhat's unique about Aundi's workbook is that she gently offers different options and prompts so that you can choose what you're most comfortable with as you move slowly through the pages. It's not just a bunch of questions with spaces for answers.
Like her book, this is a gentle, calming, and creative approach with an emphasis on self-compassion and grace. And that's like a breath of fresh air, isn't it ...
If you choose to use the workbook, I'd love to hear about your experience, friend.
Because we are writers and do use social media to connect with our community, our phones can become part of our work day. We also come from generations where a phone was just a conversation over a telephone line-nothing else. I remember when I was a teenager, my mother would say, "you are tied to your phone." Oh, how we have evolved but the tether has become stronger rather than lighter. Our phones sure have changed, but sometimes my heart longs for that feeling of just a telephone line without data, email, texting, etc.. It sounds like you have found the way to that feeling again, even if just a few hours in your day. I recently got a new battery for my old watch so I can leave my phone behind at times. It's a watch that has a face with numbers and a ticking second hand, and doesn't track anything about me. Ancient, my grandchildren, will say, but oh so much easier to just 'be' when I wear that only.
ReplyDeleteI absolutely love that you got yourself a watch, Lynn. It made me smile!
DeleteAnd yes, you're right on about this - 'Because we are writers and do use social media to connect with our community, our phones can become part of our work day.'
Writing online is very focused and concentrated work, isn't it. We put hours and hours into researching and penning each post, massaging it for hours til it's just right. Then comes the followup dialogue and interaction with others at their online homes.
And don't even get me started with the technological glitches that happen.
This is such greatly satisfying and joyful work, but it does require mental, spiritual, and emotional energy to do it well. I can't think of anything I'd rather devote myself to in this season. I feel so blessed.
I appreciate you've put this on the table. You've prompted me to better understand more of my decision-making process!
Such colorful photos!
ReplyDeleteA pleasure!
DeleteLinda, this just goes to show that there really are practical steps we can take to reduce our dependence on our devices without logging off completely. As you point out, it won’t look the same for everyone because everyone uses phones for different things. But with a little thought and will power, changes can be made. Your process is prompting me to think about my own use again … it’s so easy to slip back into bad habits without even thinking about it.
ReplyDeleteThere is such a discipline to using our screens well and as soon as we figure it out, we find that we've either gotten lazy ... or more challenges come up to navigate.
DeleteI love that the Lord cares about these things and that He guides us each in very personal and unique directions. I'm so grateful to be doing this online work and I know you are, too.
Shame on you starting this blog with chocolate covered strawberries. That is downright evil! LOL Thanks for the encouragement Linda to slow down and "to stop and smell the roses." As mentioned, as a pastor, I can't turn my phone off but I have made other steps to move away. Silencing my phone at night. Leaving my computer in the office on Thursday instead of bringing it home so I can check it on Friday (my day off). Things can wait until Saturday. Have a great weekend Linda!
ReplyDeleteI always appreciate your pastoral perspective, Bill. It never fails to amaze me how ministry leaders allow themselves to be available at all hours, week after week ... and even more so how demanding and clueless congregations can be in their demands on their shepherds' time and energy.
DeleteI'm guessing there will be people who will be so grateful that they've read about the boundaries you've created around your screens. Bless you!
Wow, you did a lot with your phone. I hope you find your sabbaths very relaxing and refreshing. Megan Byrd
ReplyDeleteI feel so refreshed by Sunday's end, Megan. I'm tying up the final loose ends even as we speak.
DeleteGod is good. I didn't realize how much I was yearning for a screen sabbath until I experienced the quietness and refreshment that comes with releasing the demands of those ever-present screens.
You need more of a close up of your books, I couldn't see them all, LOL! I want to read "I'd Rather Be Reading" and would love your thoughts on it once you finish it! I love the idea of a sabbatical and being less available. I never put my email on my phone because I didn't want constant notifications. Any important contacts in my phone have their own notification so when it goes off I know if I can ignore it or not ;)! I have started teaching our youth on Sunday night's again so I have less of a sabbatical again and I am trying to find the balance. I think your phone clean up could have gone under both brave and achieved! Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteCindy, I absolutely loved that little book. It was fun and fascinating and relaxing. Anne has such a lovely flair for writing.
DeleteHere's the 'I'd Rather Be Reading Book Club' we did in October 2019. Great conversations!
http://www.lindastoll.net/2019/10/id-rather-be-reading-book-club-starts.html
Linda, do you still do the online book clubs?
DeleteYep, we do one or two a year, when I read something that I think will spark great dialogue. Stay tuned! They really are alot of fun 📚.
DeleteAwesome, I will keep an eye out.
Delete😇
DeleteI always enjoy your four somethings, Linda. I love the Henri Nouwen quote, too. Love and blessings of rest and peace!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Trudy!
DeleteI hope you're having a restful weekend, friend.
Linda, those chocolate covered strawberries are calling my name. Wonderful photos, dear one. Yes, a phone can take over your life. My 91 year old Dad lives alone (isn’t that amazing?). I always keep mine where I can get a call from him. Have a lovely week
ReplyDeleteSo grateful with you that your Dad is healthy enough to continue to live on his own. What a rare and treasured gift, Pam.
DeleteI try to keep my phone on silent and face down as much as I can. I check for text messages throughout the day but that is about it. I don't want that it keep me from the people right in front of me each day as these days will pass so quickly. Seeing "The Pursuit of God" in your photo made me wonder if that will be next on my "re-reads".
ReplyDeleteSilent AND face down. Yes! And out of quick reach.
DeleteThanks for this nudge to reach for healthier and more productive ways to use our time, Joanne.
I loved how you recognized and took action on your phone's disctration! Way to go! Thanks for linking up!
ReplyDeleteI love your 4 Somethings, Heather, but I've gotta admit those last two are going to be hard to figure out! I don't see myself as brave or an achiever. It'll be interesting to rise to this challenge you're giving us.
DeleteThanks for stretching my comfort zone, friend.