Monday, February 24, 2020

For When You're Living in a Fantasy World

Do you have a "fantasy self"?  The incredible culinary whiz.  The super-fit, all-star athlete.  The award winning musical virtuoso.  The fabulously creative entrepreneur.

Acquired a whole lot of stuff along the way to becoming someone you never quite became?



Kitchen cabinets jammed with stacks of unopened gourmet cookbooks and expensive cooking widgets {that were maybe used once or twice}.

A garage packed with all manner of big-ticket sports equipment {from at least a generation ago}.

The cache of musical instruments stuffed in the back of a musty closet or two {from way back in elementary school}.

Overflowing boxes laden with dusty, unused craft supplies {from the '80s}.

Clothes bought on a whim stored in a rarely-opened garment bag {with the tags still attached}.

Painful piles of memorabilia from a love, a friendship, a relationship {that's long since departed}.




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Photo by Belinda Fewings on Unsplash

32 comments:

  1. There was stuff not required,
    but left alone (we had a truce);
    and then in a time inspired,
    EUREKA! It had a use.
    From the scrap-pile it was taken,
    dust was gently brushed away;
    now in grace, the once-forsaken
    was about to have its day.
    And thus it is with many things,
    heralds of a time long-past;
    keep them alive, and one day wings
    will spread beneath light-shadow cast
    by a God whose joy is greatest
    when he sees that naught is wasted.

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    1. I love your reminder that God sees that nothing is wasted in our lives. Not all the junk and trinkets, but the life experiences and lessons, especially the hard won, along the way.

      'All things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.'
      - Romans 8:28.

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    2. “and then in a time inspired,
      EUREKA! It had a use.”

      This seems to be my problem when trying to throw away things. I always seem to need it 2 weeks later.

      Linda, how inspiring that you see he spiritual here. You are something, kid!!!

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    3. Yeah, there are things I regret giving away ... recently a great big mug that shortly after I realized would have been perfect for the magic markers the grandkiddos use for art projects when they come.

      Oh well. I threw them in a bright green shoebox instead. And all will be well!

      ;-}

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  2. We don't have the room to indulge much in fantasy. I have my cycling. But that is all used. My fantasies have to be realized in reading. :)

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    1. Cycling's a good example of time and energy used well, Bill. And I'm guessing one doesn't need a myriad of bikes and endless gadgets and stuff to make this a successful {and healthy!} endeavour ...

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    2. But there are every gadget, type of bike, garments that can get excessive

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    3. You guys would know more about that than I would, FOR SURE!!

      ;-}

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  3. Ah, yes, fantasy or not we tend to keep accumulating while going through seasons of "getting rid of" and by the time we have been married 50+ years....oy!!! I wonder if you have read The Gift of Years? Joan Chittister ? She talks about this very thing in different areas of our lives.

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    1. Thanks for this recommendation, Pam!

      And yes, the years do have a way of adding to our accumulated possessions. We found that moving 5 years ago was a huge kick in helping me pare down seemingly endless collections of books, kitchen collectibles from generations past, and mounds of paperwork.

      Can't say I miss 99% of what was tossed / given away / sold ...

      I do prefer traveling lightly. The memories linger easier, ya' know?

      ;-}

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  4. Great post today! For me … it’s journals.I never know what to do with them.  Joan Didion wrote that it’s best to remain on nodding acquaintance with who we used to be, but I don’t think that means all the stuff that goes with the people we used to be. Sometimes I read them, mostly I pile them. Time to move on! 

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    1. Yep, I hear ya', friend! I have every journal I ever wrote spanning maybe 15 years or so, filling a file cabinet drawer to overflowing!

      I hardly, if ever, re-read what I've written. Why am I keeping them around?

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    2. Amen-I have one whole drawer full but I do look back or I forget what God told me,I check a past event or remember a fun time.

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    3. Most of my journals aren't filled with fun times, although I know that they are filled with heavy duty spiritual lessons that have impacted my life greatly. But they still don't call me to come re-read. Why I'm keeping them I have no idea.

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  5. Thank you so much for sharing with us, Linda! It was such a blessing to have you contribute your talents and time! Sending love and hugs your way today, sweet friend. :)

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    1. You are such a gracious hostess, allowing me to share previously written pieces at your online homes. Thank you, friend. I so appreciate your warmth and kindness ... and am happy to introduce your work to this little community!

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  6. I look at my guitar every day but haven't opened the case in months. But not quite ready to give it up yet! I do need to check-in with myself to ask is it a fantasy? I'll be mulling on this for awhile! It does feel good though, to create space in places filled with items that no longer serve us for sure!

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    1. I'm guessing your guitar has given you much joy and pleasure ... and others, too, Lynn. And it sounds like it still has a valued place in your heart, and therefore, your home.

      Be in no hurry to say goodbye to this valued friend. If / when the time is right, you'll just KNOW it.

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  7. What does one do when one becomes the family "historian"? Knowing that items have been lovingly saved and handed down from my great grandparents..........who am I to get rid of it all? I've given to relatives all I can give. It hurts my heart but I could use the room. I fantasize about my kids taking the stuff on in the future but seriously? They don't want it. Such a conundrum..............

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    1. Yeah, this is hard and a problem many of us have because, truth be told, the next generation does NOT want the heavy furniture, the endless gew-gaws, the china and glassware and endless stuff that their ancestors thought so very valuable.

      I've taken pictures of things I loved before I got rid of them and it was helpful to know I had those momentos ... even though I haven't looked at the pictures since they were taken!

      Here's a few questions that may help -

      - Do I smile when I see this item and remember my grandparents with fondness ... or do I say 'UGH' whenever I look at it?

      - Does this item have a useful purpose in my home or does it take up space that I need to be free so I can breathe?

      - Would my grandparents want me to feel overwhelmed and burdened by their possessions?

      - Is there someone else who is in need of their stuff more than I?

      - Can I donate or sell items and give the money to an organization they valued ... or put into my own bank account for retirement?

      Just thinking with you, Val ...

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  8. I would have much more clutter if it wasn't for my hubby, Linda. :) I like to keep things, especially if they're gifts. Or if they have special meaning. Like little drawings or letters from grand-kids. I know it's just stuff, but I guess I'm kind of sentimental. But I do try to ask myself questions, especially with books. Will I ever read it again? I once had a streak where I tried to dutifully give books away to cut back, and I did, drastically. But now I'm sorry. :( I start looking for a certain one, and I wonder why in the world did I let that one go? There are even kitchen items or clothing that I wish I had back. I guess I'm not a very good minimalist, am I? ;) Love and blessings to you!

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    1. 'Like little drawings or letters from grand-kids.'

      Oh absolutely, Trudy! I couldn't agree with you more. These are our treasures. Our prized keepsakes, yes?

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  9. Great post - and it's interesting reading the comments above! I have a whole heap of journals too, though I do look back at some of them occasionally. And I definitely struggle to get rid of books. I always think I might want to read them again some day but I rarely do. Having a Kindle has helped because I can keep them without the clutter!

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    1. Yeah, Lesley, I found it hard to say goodbye to so many books when we moved 5 years ago. It was like bidding farewell to old friends.

      But the ones I kept are keepers. Ones I loved and valued and had spoken deeply into my heart.

      The real life friends as well as the pageturners ...

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    2. Donating your cherished books to a library is a great way to share them with the world and for those who may not be able to buy books. I deal with people every day struggling to let go of the boxes of books they brought in to donate. I tell them "if worse comes to worse, you can always come visit them!" :-)

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    3. Spoken like a truly dedicated librarian!

      ;-)

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  10. I never fantasised on who I am or may become; because I never knew who I really am or may be. I think it's because I get easily bored and tired and prefer to relax instead. My greatest hobby at which I excel is sitting down; or lying down. I would win all the medals if it were an Olympic sport.

    Being someone else, a great cook, an explorer, a sportsman, a celebrity and so on is far too tiring. I was once interested in being a politician; then I realised that I had to be nice to people. I soon gave that up.

    I wish I'd become a world famous Malacologist. That's an expert in snails. But I gave up on that too because they were too fast for me. Also, I ate all the evidence with a delicate garlic sauce.

    God bless.

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    1. Ah Victor, this post was tailor made for your visit and your way-too-funny commentary. I'm so glad you dropped in to make us laugh right out loud, friend!

      ;-}

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    2. Amen — this tickled my funny bone. Sitting and lying down is becoming a friendly habit

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    3. Wait 'til you read Victor's comment on the next post!!

      ;-}

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  11. Linda, I loved this so much I sent the link to Randy so he could read it too. :-) I'm going through boxes in the basement this winter and have a few epiphanies that I hope to write about someday soon. For now, though, after reading in Gretchen Rubin's book "Outer Order, Inner Calm" about projects that become burdens, we dumped a foot-tall stack of old cooking magazines in the recycling bin. I still enjoy looking at recipes in magazines, but not enough to go through all of that and tear out pages of dishes that I may never even make!

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    1. 'Projects that become burdens.'

      Yep, been there, done that. All our good intentions seem to vanish along the way leaving us piles of the undone that drain us dry whenever we spot them.

      You know I can't wait for those epiphanies, friend! Please do tell!

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