The TV loudly droned on and on as I obsessively played endless games of Boggle on my tablet, my ever-present phone holding court right next to me just in case something terribly exciting might show up on the screen.
It hit me how unbalanced and off-kilter it all was.
It's been more than five months since I cracked open my dusty journal.
It'd been a slow fade long before that, upended by my self-imposed, way-too-important blogging schedule ... and seemingly endless online surfing.
That long time passion for putting pen to paper in the comforting, convicting presence of God had faded off my personal radar. The life-enriching zeal that I shared with you in the morning invitations * journal post two years ago had dissipated only to be replaced by, well, not much of anything that held eternal value.
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It dawned on me last night that maybe it's time to revisit this spiritual discipline, this compelling invitation to journal that used to be a non-negotiable part of my routine. A far more apt word to describe this specific 'aha' moment would be convicted. For past experience reminds me that there's something positively clarifying and freeing when pen and paper are linked in ongoing substantial, focused interactions with the Triune God.
Be still and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth.
Psalm 46:10
I find my brain overcrowded these days with far too much randomness that siphons off clarity on what's most important. It would be easy to blame this lack of focus on the aging process or life's busyness, but those are excuses, pure and simple.
What is most true is that my ever-present phone is not doing me any favors. And I have become lazy in the presence of the One who loves me best.
Pen needs to be put to paper without hurry, without an eye on the clock, with no intent to publish ... and without grabbing the phone every other minute of my life like it's some sort of urgent lifeline.
I'm sensing ongoing nudges from the Spirit to unplug more frequently from all that grabs for my attention. To simply sit quietly with God without an agenda. To invite the Spirit to still my soul at a far deeper level. To be totally present to His presence, to take greater notice of what's happening in and around me. To delight in who He is and fully immerse myself in His great love for me.
The Lord will fight for you;
You need only to be still.
Exodus 14:14
That's where I'm coming from today ...
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