I couldn't bear even the thought of it. It made my skin crawl, my stomach turn.
Who could bear the viewing of such agony?
It's hit me afresh recently ... the outrageous cruelty, the gruesome barbaric scene, the ultimate sacrifice we consider this Holy Week.
And who are the eyewitnesses to this horrific crucifixion? His mother, Mary ... and 'many women were there, watching from a distance.'
All the disciples, the multitudes, the followers? The only one mentioned is John, and Jesus entrusts His mother to his care ... her children, for some reason, weren't present. Mark 6 tells us that Jesus had at least 3 brothers and 2 sisters.
Where did they all disappear to? Did they flee for the hills in fear? How could they not be there to support their Brother, their mother? Did they not believe He was who He said He was?
*
My questions lead to more considerations. Unsettling personal ones. Hard stuff.
If I had been in town that day, how would I have demonstrated my love for the Christ I had committed to follow? What choices would I have made as He groaned in agony, bloodied and battered, spikes holding his broken body to raw and ragged wood, noontime sky turning dark and the curtain of the temple torn in two from top to bottom?
For me. For my sins.
Would I have been fully present to the Son of God in every way possible?
I'd like to think that infused by massive portions of bold spiritual courage I wouldn't have denied knowing Him. That I would have joined the women at the foot of the cross out of sheer love and commitment.
I'm hoping I wouldn't have made haste for the hills in terror. Or scurried off somewhere to bury my head in the sand in a state of fear-fueled shock. Or skedaddled off to ride out the sheer horror of it all in the relative comfort and safety of my home.
I'm hoping I wouldn't have made haste for the hills in terror. Or scurried off somewhere to bury my head in the sand in a state of fear-fueled shock. Or skedaddled off to ride out the sheer horror of it all in the relative comfort and safety of my home.
God only knows.
Matthew 27
Mark 15
Luke 23
John 19
I love you, Jesus ...
more than ever
Linda
*
sharing Holy Week
with
*
I've asked myself the same questions Linda. The only answer I can honestly come up with is "I hope so." I hope I would have remained faithful. I hope I would have stuck by Him. I hope I would not have been Peter or Judas. But I most certainly echo your final sentiments. Have a blessed Resurrection Day Linda.
ReplyDeleteOh yes, yes, I hope so, too ...
DeleteMay God bless you, Bill, with everything you need physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually as you minister to your church family during this extraordinary weekend.
I felt the same way about the movie. One of our former pastors commented on the discretion of Scripture in regard to Christ's death--it doesn't go into the gore. I've heard some preachers give a detailed blow-by-blow account of what crucifixion felt like, and I've wondered if that was wise. In one sense, maybe we need to know, so we don't think of it lightly. In another sense--maybe it's distracting from the main point? I don't know. I'm not saying it was wrong to make or view the movie--just that I couldn't watch it myself.
ReplyDeleteI would hope that I'd have been with the women who were nearby. But--He extended grace to all his disciples who fled. Not to excuse it, but we fall and fail every day, and His death on the cross and resurrection made that forgiveness possible. Some who fled later became some of His staunchest disciples--even His half-brothers, who hadn't believed on Him before. So I hope my heart would have been true even if my fear momentarily overcame me.
Oh Barbara, I love what you've said about how Jesus extended grace then ... and now.
DeleteYour wisdom has brought a sense of peace and rest to the end of the post.
Bless you for your wise reminder...
Linda, I remember so vividly the week The Passion of the Christ movie came out. I had gone to my priest's office to discuss another matter with him and somehow we got into a discussion of the movie. He told me he had taken his wife and two pre-teenaged children to see the movie the evening before. I asked him what he thought about it and he told me he thought EVERYONE should go see the movie. He then told me how his daughter cried the entire way home in the car, saying she just had NO idea what Jesus had endured for us, for her. He then told me that he would probably not advise people who have a tendency towards depression to see the movie. I chose not to see it. But I did come across it in the Walmart $5 bin a few years later and bought it. Do you know I FINALLY watched it for the first time last year on Good Friday?! I'm not so sure I could sit through it again, but I am glad I watched it. I felt much like my priest's daughter after it was over. I had no idea.....
ReplyDeleteYou are so right. It does lead us to unsettling personal considerations. It IS hard stuff.
We'll never know how Jesus suffered. And how much He loves us.
DeleteGail, thanks for sharing your perspective. I appreciate you being here.
Easter blessings to you, to yours ...
I totally agree - I have never loved Him more. This season, He has us in a state of mandatory stillness. ALL focus on HIM, as it should be. He is stripping His people of their pride and assumptions that all will continue to go according to their plans. Praise God, He reigns, and the awful, gruesome scene of Calvary was not the end! He is with us still, my friend. Keep encouraged, and may God keep you healthy and safe continually!
ReplyDeleteCheryl, this here grabbed me -->'mandatory stillness.'
DeleteAnd your phrase makes me think of that beloved verse, 'Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.'
-Psalm 46:10.
Trusting Him to make Himself known through this difficult season.
Bless you, friend.
Oh Linda, I also could only hope I would have been there. Thank you for encouraging us to pause to search our hearts. I remember when that movie came to theaters. A friend asked me to go with her. I remember crying and at times closing my eyes. On one hand, it was an eye-opener to the depths of what Jesus suffered for us. On the other hand, I don't think any movie can adequately express the unspeakable agony Jesus went through for us. Isaiah 52:14 really humbles me. I just can't fathom that He suffered so much for us that "His appearance was so disfigured beyond that of any human being and His form marred beyond human likeness." Oh, how He loves us! Love and blessings of a HOPE-filled Easter to you!
ReplyDeleteI would have had my eyes closed most of the time.
DeleteHe understands.
A HOPE-filled Easter is a beautiful benediction for us all this week, Trudy. Thank you!
Wow, Linda, you've definitely given me something to seriously ponder . . . What would I have done? Ideally, we would like to think we would be right there with Mary and the other women, but you know what? I couldn't see the Passion movie, either, because I knew the torture Jesus endured would terrify me.
ReplyDeleteMay your Easter be extra specially blessed this year!
Yes, terrify is an apt word, Martha.
DeleteLike I said to Trudy, He understands where we're coming from. For sure!
Philippians 4:8 tells us that He created us toward 'whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things.'
I recall making the same choice about The Passion movie and for the same reason.
ReplyDeleteAnd I have often wondered what my disposition would have been toward Jesus and his ministry if I had been sharing space in 1st century Palestine. I can be such a cynic about things that are happening around me...
I think it's a mercy that I met him through the Word.
Michele, your 1st century Palestine reference sheds additional light on our conversation.
DeleteI never thought of who I might have been back in those days ... I'm guessing not a whole lot different than I am now? Not sure.
But oh yes, the mercy, sweet mercy of meeting Him right now, by His Spirit, through His Word.
Thank You, Jesus ...
This post gave me the Holy Bumps! I did go to see the movie and cried like a baby! I later said that I wish I had not went to see it. But the truth is...What would I have done had I been in those scenes!!!! Lord, forgive me...help me...I am surely grateful that He knows my old heart and that I do love Him though I fail Him miserably at times. Today I have been reminded of that precious song...."You are my King" by Chris Tomlin. Thank you for sharing. Hugs and blessings, Cindy
ReplyDelete'The Holy Bumps!'
DeleteThis born and bred North-easterner never heard that expression before, Cindy! So I'm guessing maybe you're from 'down south'?
I'm grateful that even when we fail miserably, His love shines strong and welcomes us back home. Again and again.
What a wonderful Savior!
Same questions I've asked myself. When I hear the song, Crucifixion, from Jesus Christ Superstar, his voice is one of pain and agony, you hear the hammer in the background and I wonder if I'd been among the brave women. Then I ask if I'm doing what I should to live for him now. It's only grace that make me enough. Amazing grace....that saved a wretch like me.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad I'm not the only one with the questions. I love the one you've given for us to ask ourselves --> 'I ask if I'm doing what I should to live for him now.'
DeleteYes. Where do we go from here?
Bless you for encouraging us to look forward, Debby.
Who can do it, watch Him die?
ReplyDeleteWho can bear to stand and see?
Who can now forbear to cry?
Well, my Bubba...it is ME.
I have now faced cancer's pain
and have to believe there is a reason
that, yes, to die is gain,
but this is not the season
to leave those who depend upon
the brave that I can still provide,
and now all I have is brawn
and something small, deep inside
that says, "Witness, pilgrim, to My might,
and I will guide you through this night."
"Witness, pilgrim, to My might,
Deleteand I will guide you through this night."
And all God's people making their way through this unspeakable pandemic said, 'Amen.'
The Passion is work of art. I have not seen a Christian film that can measure up to its standard except for The Chosen. The Chosen is real, encouraging, unique but the episodes have not gotten to the crucifixion yet. Not sure how it will play out in this new series. Unfortunately, since I never saw a crucifixion, I have a hard time even relating. For people like me, sorry to say, there is a need to see the reality of what Jesus agreed to do for me. The Passion touched me in ways I can’t even explain. I do agree it is hard to watch but will I let that stop me? Sometimes.
ReplyDeleteI remember talking together with you back in the day about the movie, Carol. It's fascinating how God has shaped His children each so differently and yet we who claim Him as our Savior and Lord are unified in adoring Him with all our hearts.
DeleteI hope your Easter is a good one, friend. This is a hard time and I miss ya'!
As I sat with my mother in the final moments of her life, the nurse asked me was I prepared for this. NO! Are we ever prepared? One of the most difficult things I have ever done is stay by her side until the very end. It was the right thing to do. I have never regretted it.
ReplyDeleteWould I have had the courage to stay by the side of Jesus? I hope so, but fear is a powerful foe.
Great-thought provoking post, My Friend!
Blessings!
I needed to read about you and your mom today, dear Loralu. My own Mom is suffering greatly and has been for years. Your testimony is water in a parched land and a deep encouragement to my weary soul.
DeleteBless you, bless you, friend.
xo
Linda,, I have wondered what I would have done, where would I have been. I did see the movie and I wept for hours afterward. Just realizing it was my sin that put Him there. Happy Easter, He Is Risen!
ReplyDeleteHe is risen indeed! What joy, what hope!
DeleteBurning question in my soul, what would I have done that? I want to think I would have had the courage to stand for Him but would I? Grateful I have not had to make such a dangerous choice in my life yet. I know there is grace given at times of our life that is super natural, I have experienced that and even courage in the face of drastic change and even minor danger living overseas. But to outright be given a choice to deny Him or openingly identify Him as my Savior...not yet. I do know a couple of heroes of the faith who have faced death and death lost because God interrupted the death threat. Great post...thought provoking post, thanks sister.
ReplyDeleteYou're right, Betty. This is a burning question! And I love all the grace and merciful perspective that's been woven through this conversation this week ...
DeleteAnd yes, so much of the interventions in our lives are truly supernatural. Oh, that we'd have eyes to see. Oh that God would come down during this horrendous pandemic.
I hope Easter is a sweet blessing in your life, dear servant of Christ.
What a great post to read today - on Good Friday. I too have struggled with that question and talked with God about that today. Asked for forgiveness and spend time just loving him and all he has done for us. Thank you for a thoughtful post today
ReplyDeleteJean, thanks for the gentle reminder that the Lord yearns to have His children just spending time loving Him.
DeleteNot running here and there, not performing, nothing legalistic or heavy duty. Just the sheer delight of each other's sacred company.
A beautiful invitation, isn't it ...
I am reading a book called Women at the Cross. It has been interesting to see it from their perspective. They were there at the crucifixion but also the first to know of the resurrection. She talked about how the women gave the gift of their presence to Jesus on the cross. May we give each other the gift of presence today even if we can’t physically be together.
ReplyDeleteWow, TJ, 'the women gave the gift of their presence to Jesus on the cross.'
DeleteYes, He did not die in vain, He did not die alone. Those brave women were there for Him. With Him.
What matchless gift ...
Praise God He is risen indeed!
Happy Easter Linda! The women were so courageous that day, weren't they? They did not leave Him. I wonder if I would have been part of the crowd too, or gazed upon those women wanting to be as courageous as them. Yes, only God knows.
ReplyDeleteLynn, hi! Someone mentioned God's grace in this conversation. And that grace washed over me and put the hard questions to rest.
DeleteThank You, merciful Jesus!!
Linda, what a beautiful post. Hubs and I did see the movie when it came out. Some scenes were hard to watch. For me, it helped me better understand, to a degree, what Jesus suffered because He loves us. Like you, I have wondered if—hoped—I would have had the courage that day to be one of the women at the cross. I am beyond thankful for His unconditional, passionate love, and for His grace and mercy. Like Michele mentioned above, I'm thankful for His mercy that drew me to Him through His word.
ReplyDeleteThankful for you, friend.
'I'm thankful for His mercy that drew me to Him through His word.'
DeleteAmen.
Where would we be without Jesus and His unconditional love, grace, and mercy.
I shudder to even go there ...
I think most Christians ask themselves the same questions as you, Linda. What would I have done if I had been there? I think the movie would be very hard to watch too. My personal belief is that one of Christ's lessons for us while He was here on earth was to teach us how to die, that even a gruesome and horrific death such as His is not to be feared. That the resurrection is waiting for us, just as it was for Him.
ReplyDeleteLaurie, I appreciate the food for thought you'd left us here today - Christ teaching us how to die, to reject fear, and an emphasis on the resurrection.
DeleteA rich contemplation, indeed ...
When I was a girl, I actually dreaded Easter service because I knew the pastor was going to give crucifixion story - and it always seemed to be with extra gorey details. I've learned to acknowledge the truth of the crucifixion but I still focus on the resurrection. I've often wondered would I have been at the tomb? Or locked behind the door with the disciples? These are good questions to consider. But hard as well.
ReplyDeleteI love what you're saying about acknowledging the truth of the crucifixion, but focusing on the resurrection, Jennifer ...
DeleteWe honor Jesus' suffering and death but its the resurrection that gives us hope and victory.
Thanks for the way you've phrased it, friend.